jerect

I need some advice..

My AH has been on Subs, seroquel, Topamax and paxil for six months now..

The subs are working wonders however I see him abusing the seroquel to the point where I know that he is dependent on them just as he was with the opiates.. He crushes them and takes them that way or he chews them.. says they hit his system faster that way.. he also sleeps up to 12 hours a day.. only getting up to go to work.. You can only imagine what this is doing to our marriage and his quality of life.. well the quality of life I'm not to worried about.. it's the state of our marriage that makes me sad. He might be clean from opiates but the addict behavior is still there.. nothing has changed in that aspect

I have gotten to the point where I don't wake him up anymore because 1) He just doesn't care or 2) eventually he will get frustrated with himself and do something about it.. of course talking to him about this does no good.. you can't reason with insanity and the whole situation is insane..

My sponsor of sorts and my mother in law suggested I write a letter to his Dr and tell her the real truth about what is going on.. maybe she can reduce his dosage of seroquel or take him off of it all together..

I'm on the fence about this.. on one hand I'm very tempted to write this letter.. His Dr, should know that he has become very dependent on these things and that he is abusing them basicly trading one addiction for another.. however the other part of me thinks this might be a bad idea because thats like taking control of the situation.. a situation that is none of my business... He will obviously find out that I wrote a letter to his Dr and that will cause a lot more problems then what already exists in our marriage.. Besides what good will it do anyway.. he is a freaking drug addict.. if she takes away those meds, he will just go back to using what he was before...

So I'm on the fence and I was wondering what some of you guys would do.. I'm leaning towards No..

itisatruth

Aside from what I quoted above, can I just add that I don't think it would matter much in the long run. I tried to contact my AH's doctors by phone two or three times. Each time I was told that the doctors would not talk to me. Legally, they said they could not discuss his care with me. Once I did get to talk to the nurse practitioner (after he was in the hospital with delusions among other things). I told her the whole story. Next time AH went in, he came back with more pills. Then both doctors cut him off - would no longer see him.

It really is in their hands if they want to stay off them or not. Pills are so easy to get, even if this doctor agreed to try to help, your AH could probably find another doctor.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best in dealing with this.

Hugs~

connecian

Question..
Is this a therapist dr ( phsycologist or phsycatrist) or an addiction specialist?
One thing that my husband and I tried to do when he came out, was he signed a release to give me access to his medical information, and I would go to his doctor visits and therapy visits with him on occasion, at his request, to tell the doctor my versions of what I saw. Now, this was when he first came out and that was a while ago.

Hope that this helps. you have to go thru this.. it is not easy!!

outtolunch

Crushing and chewing meds is not normal stuff.

Just curious, who is paying for the Seroquil cause it was so darn expensive when my daughter was on it.

marle

My daughter is also on Seroquel. She was precribed 75 mgs. a day but was only using 25 at first. It soon became 75 as it made her sleep better. She took it all at night. She found that she woke up groggy and had no ambition, was also gaining weight. I talked to her about the Seroquel but she was adament that she needed it. After a few months of feeling poorly, she decided to start weaning her off Seroquel. She is now taking 1/2 the dosage and feels better and sleeps better. Your husband has to decide for himself about the Seroquel. If you write the letter to the doctor and his Seroquel gets cut off suddenly, your husband will suffer from withdrawals. Google it and see what they are. Also Seroquel is widely available on the streets and is very expensive that way. Do you really want him to get his supply that way. Just like any other drug, your husband has to be the one to want to quit. Sending hugs, Marle

jerect

Thanks guys for all your great advice... I have decided not to do it.. because in the long run it wont matter.. he will either find something to replace them or like Marle said start buying them off the street.

I know the dr wont talk to me personally because he does not have me on any of his release forms.. (very conveniant for him)

Outtolunch, My insurance covers all but thirty dollars of it but he has two prescriptions to seroquil.. one for 75 and one for 50mg.. so thats 60 bucks a month.. I know thats pretty cheap considering but he is also taking suboxone and all that other crap.. so not only his is behavior frustrating, it's also putting a drain on our bank account..

The Dr he is seeing is a physchatrist but she doesn't talk to him,,he walks in, she writes him scripts for his meds and tells him that she wants to see him back in two weeks.. works for him because this way he does not have to deal with any of his problems.

Jody Hepler

I use the "hula hoop" model when I'm trying to decide whether or not to get involved.

I picture myself holding a hula hoop over my head - and letting it drop to the ground. Anything outside that circle is not my business.

I tend to be a controller - albeit on a much "lower" level than before recovery - but my ego can still get in the way.

I've learned that recovery is so much more than just not using - or abusing drugs. It is daily meetings, sponsorship, working steps to make changes in one's life, etc.

And he'll get the drugs someplace - and if not from this doctor from another - or on the streets. Unfortunately, it is just the nature of the disease.

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

Freedom1990

What are you getting out of this marriage? What is the payoff that makes it acceptable for you to live with an active addict? Yes, he's an active addict, even though it's a prescribed med he is abusing.

kj3880

Yeah, this is tempting to do, but it is a very codependent action to write to a doctor like this. Very controlling behavior. Keep the focus on you, I think, and on your recovery. I guess he isn't going to meetings if he's asleep all the time, so how could he possibly be in recovery? Just me, but I couldn't stick with someone who was in active addiction for any longer than it took to get out of there. What are your plans for you and your life?

Love,
KJ

jerect

And all of you guys are right.. MY QUALITY OF LIFE.. thats what's important..

I'm not ready to leave just yet.. though I would be lying if I told everyone that I don't think about it..

I'm working my program, trying to work on taking care of me.. and I'm doing everything I can to do one thing nice for myself each day.. even if it's a nice relaxing bubble bath..

His life is what it is, his life.. and how very very sad to live that kind of life.. but thank God I don't have too..