Free at last, free at last .. thank God Almighty I'm free at last!!!
Drug Addiction Has No Mercy
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Milwaukie Oregon
Posts: 875
Free at last, free at last .. thank God Almighty I'm free at last!!!
Thats right ... I am FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I had him leave!!!!!!
For months and months he has been leaving me with all the responsibility of our children .. for months he has been off work due to knee injury/surgery... for months I have been working my butt of without his help.... for months he has been leaving and staying gone all day long... sometimes up into the night with a few times not coming home all night long.
For months he has drank and smoked himself into oblivion, but today was the straw that broke the camels back .. and I called him, told him he wasn't to come back here .. and he needed to come get his stuff. He said he didn't have a place to take it all ... so I set a few things out in the van for him to come and pick up. Told him to call and we'd make arrangements for him to pick up the rest later.
What happened? Well .....
A few weeks ago he told me he met a woman... then he took it back saying he only said it cause he was mad. Well I knew in my heart he had met a female because the days that followed he dressed different, got a haircut and for some reason when I sat in his car I just knew a woman had been there. It just felt different. Any how .. today he gets in the shower and I took the liberty of listening to his voice mails and sure enough there was a message from a woman saying, Hi baby, I saw that you called me.. I was watching a movie .. I'm going to bed now .. hope everything is okay. Love you.
Any how I called her from his phone and she answered all excited thinking it was him and I told her HI HONEY just wanted you to know that I know about you two and well you need to go on to the internet and read up about narcissist cause that is what he is and he was going to f up her world like he tried to f up my but worse.
Then I let him know that I knew about her .. he told me who she was .. it is an ex that he has told me for years tried to pin him as the father of her child and he denied the child was his.. now the daughter is 22 and he says he is her father ..
So any how I talked to the woman again .. and let her know just what she was getting herself into .. I had nothing to gain or to lose by telling her the truth .. she told me she was in an emotional state from all the things going on in her life .. she is broke, needs food for her 8 year old who is not his child .. I offered to buy some food for her daughter. I have no ill feelings toward this woman she is lonely and hurting... she is his prey.
Anyhow ... Aftr I got off the phone with her .. I went to the church where I rent my house from and talked to my pastor and let him know what is going on .. ask if there was a way to take "R" off the rental agreement because I wanted to establish a boundary saying this is my home and he can't come here when as he sees fit. So the pastor is checking into some things and we will see how that will work out.
It was good to talk with my pastor. I felt a sense of relief .. like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
There is a sense of sadness, but you can't make a leopard change its spots.
So I accept the cards that have been dealt and I will move forward with my life...
Tonight I will sleep good knowing he will not be coming home. Knowing that I will get up in the morning and he won't be here. Knowing that I don't have to hear his verbal abuse... I don't have to see, hear or smell him (he wears way to much Drakkar .. pours it on) Tonight I am free and I am grateful.
Me and the babies are all snug in HIS bed LOL and they are watching tv. I plan to relax and surf the net for a while then get some well needed rest.
Nighty nite SR family...
Passion
For months and months he has been leaving me with all the responsibility of our children .. for months he has been off work due to knee injury/surgery... for months I have been working my butt of without his help.... for months he has been leaving and staying gone all day long... sometimes up into the night with a few times not coming home all night long.
For months he has drank and smoked himself into oblivion, but today was the straw that broke the camels back .. and I called him, told him he wasn't to come back here .. and he needed to come get his stuff. He said he didn't have a place to take it all ... so I set a few things out in the van for him to come and pick up. Told him to call and we'd make arrangements for him to pick up the rest later.
What happened? Well .....
A few weeks ago he told me he met a woman... then he took it back saying he only said it cause he was mad. Well I knew in my heart he had met a female because the days that followed he dressed different, got a haircut and for some reason when I sat in his car I just knew a woman had been there. It just felt different. Any how .. today he gets in the shower and I took the liberty of listening to his voice mails and sure enough there was a message from a woman saying, Hi baby, I saw that you called me.. I was watching a movie .. I'm going to bed now .. hope everything is okay. Love you.
Any how I called her from his phone and she answered all excited thinking it was him and I told her HI HONEY just wanted you to know that I know about you two and well you need to go on to the internet and read up about narcissist cause that is what he is and he was going to f up her world like he tried to f up my but worse.
Then I let him know that I knew about her .. he told me who she was .. it is an ex that he has told me for years tried to pin him as the father of her child and he denied the child was his.. now the daughter is 22 and he says he is her father ..
So any how I talked to the woman again .. and let her know just what she was getting herself into .. I had nothing to gain or to lose by telling her the truth .. she told me she was in an emotional state from all the things going on in her life .. she is broke, needs food for her 8 year old who is not his child .. I offered to buy some food for her daughter. I have no ill feelings toward this woman she is lonely and hurting... she is his prey.
Anyhow ... Aftr I got off the phone with her .. I went to the church where I rent my house from and talked to my pastor and let him know what is going on .. ask if there was a way to take "R" off the rental agreement because I wanted to establish a boundary saying this is my home and he can't come here when as he sees fit. So the pastor is checking into some things and we will see how that will work out.
It was good to talk with my pastor. I felt a sense of relief .. like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.
There is a sense of sadness, but you can't make a leopard change its spots.
So I accept the cards that have been dealt and I will move forward with my life...
Tonight I will sleep good knowing he will not be coming home. Knowing that I will get up in the morning and he won't be here. Knowing that I don't have to hear his verbal abuse... I don't have to see, hear or smell him (he wears way to much Drakkar .. pours it on) Tonight I am free and I am grateful.
Me and the babies are all snug in HIS bed LOL and they are watching tv. I plan to relax and surf the net for a while then get some well needed rest.
Nighty nite SR family...
Passion
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
I could barely breathe, reading your post, nyte.
It was like watching the last minutes of a movie, and you are holding your breath and wondering if the heroine is going to live or die, and you are in dread and you are about to jump through the screen and fight for her life yourself. Everything falls away and all you can think is, "Does she survive?????"
No matter your history with him, today is all you have, no guarantees about tomorrow, and today, the man is a scorpion. He will poison all of you, if he stays.
And you, nyte, sword of justice in hand, got him OUT OF THERE.
God is great.
Your compassion toward the OW is breathtaking.
Bless you in your NEW CHAPTER. Wonderful chapters yet to unfold!!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!
It was like watching the last minutes of a movie, and you are holding your breath and wondering if the heroine is going to live or die, and you are in dread and you are about to jump through the screen and fight for her life yourself. Everything falls away and all you can think is, "Does she survive?????"
No matter your history with him, today is all you have, no guarantees about tomorrow, and today, the man is a scorpion. He will poison all of you, if he stays.
And you, nyte, sword of justice in hand, got him OUT OF THERE.
God is great.
Your compassion toward the OW is breathtaking.
Bless you in your NEW CHAPTER. Wonderful chapters yet to unfold!!!!!! Oh my goodness!!!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Nyte)))
I wish you could hear the big sigh of relief from me. I know this has been a long struggle for you, and you and the kids DO deserve so much better than what you've had to endure with him.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I wish you could hear the big sigh of relief from me. I know this has been a long struggle for you, and you and the kids DO deserve so much better than what you've had to endure with him.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
I'm glad you are free of the chaos, you deserve peace in your life. You may have some difficult days without him but they will be less difficult than some days with him.
By the time people decide to close the door on a relationship, the room is usually already empty. Time for some fresh air, yes?
Hugs
By the time people decide to close the door on a relationship, the room is usually already empty. Time for some fresh air, yes?
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Jersey
Posts: 229
You did what you needed to do... for you and your children...
Take your strength from this and the knowledge that you can do this on your own... you have been for months.
Stay strong and true to yourself.
Many good thoughts headed your way.....
Take your strength from this and the knowledge that you can do this on your own... you have been for months.
Stay strong and true to yourself.
Many good thoughts headed your way.....
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
OOOOHHHHH I get to be in the "Free at Last" Club too!!
It is a beautiful place to be isn't?
I rewatched the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" last nite-it has always been one of my fav movies - because I thought one day I'm going to be like her - I'm going to get out of this. To not have to live in that fear 24/7 anymore.
And WE DID!!
Nyte - continue to take good care of you and those precious little ones - you so deserve to be Happy, Joyous and FREE!!!
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
Rita
It is a beautiful place to be isn't?
I rewatched the movie "Sleeping with the Enemy" last nite-it has always been one of my fav movies - because I thought one day I'm going to be like her - I'm going to get out of this. To not have to live in that fear 24/7 anymore.
And WE DID!!
Nyte - continue to take good care of you and those precious little ones - you so deserve to be Happy, Joyous and FREE!!!
HUGS (hope, unity, gratitude and serenity)
Rita
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Home of the Ravens-MD
Posts: 1,316
Passion, All I can say is Yaahoo! Seriously sweetie, you show so much compassion and love for everyone in your life............it's your turn to be on the receiving end. "Love of Self".
Prayers for you & the kids for all the love that you deserve.
Hugs,
Chris
Prayers for you & the kids for all the love that you deserve.
Hugs,
Chris
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
hello nytepassion:
this post is so different than others that i've seen by you. You are running are pure adrenalin right now. The dust of that is going to settle in some spit of time, and then the work begins. But not to worry, you have your HP to walk with you. And you've been prayed for already. So when you find yourself sobbing face down in the carpet, know it's just a phase and it too shall pass.
I too found that i did not know if i should separate from addict husband, but there was a straw that broke the camel's back and I knew that separation/divorce was going to happen. I cannot even tell you what that incident was (it was so minor), but it was what let me know which direction the marriage was going to go in. Thank you God for faithfully guiding us all....
this post is so different than others that i've seen by you. You are running are pure adrenalin right now. The dust of that is going to settle in some spit of time, and then the work begins. But not to worry, you have your HP to walk with you. And you've been prayed for already. So when you find yourself sobbing face down in the carpet, know it's just a phase and it too shall pass.
I too found that i did not know if i should separate from addict husband, but there was a straw that broke the camel's back and I knew that separation/divorce was going to happen. I cannot even tell you what that incident was (it was so minor), but it was what let me know which direction the marriage was going to go in. Thank you God for faithfully guiding us all....
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: my own little world
Posts: 9,071
Any how I called her from his phone and she answered all excited thinking it was him and I told her HI HONEY just wanted you to know that I know about you two and well you need to go on to the internet and read up about narcissist cause that is what he is and he was going to f up her world like he tried to f up my but worse.
learning to live for me
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: East Coast, US
Posts: 215
Way to go! Keep ahold of that rush and continue to do what you need to to take care of you and your babies. I'm so proud of you! Like you and splendra, I'm free also and it does feel good. There's up days and down days but overall I know I'm doing the right thing and one day it will be behind me. You have a lot of courage and strength to be compassionate towards the OW also. In time she'll learn that your words were true. Addiction takes hostages and spares no one. I will be thinking of you and your family.
Stay strong and put you first! (Sounds like you're doing that!! )
Love,
Holly
P.s. keep us updated!
Stay strong and put you first! (Sounds like you're doing that!! )
Love,
Holly
P.s. keep us updated!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: on top of the hill
Posts: 197
Passion, I'm just so impressed. Tonight you and Splendra are on the top of my hero list. It takes tremendous strength to deal with your problems the way you have. You should be very proud of yourself. God Bless your family.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
It's been a long time comin!!! I'm very proud of you Sher! You were very proactive with your pastor and you did the right thing. Now, burn the bed, get your own and sleep in YOUR room. Like you said, the Lord has been preparing your heart for this and He's been preparing you financially so that you do not need to rely on your husband to keep a roof over your head.You deserve better than a narricistic, Drakar soaked, pill-poppin, pothead-drunk who thinks only of himself while leaving you at home with all the kids night after night and day after day. You're doing everything alreay on your own so you might has well be on your own. Like is getting ready to improve drastically around your house.
No more verbal or emotional abuse!
Your my hero too!
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