thanks and update sort of
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thanks and update sort of
i feel an obligation to tell everyone here thanks, your input is aweswome.. and some beautiful people- I mean that sincerely. Best wishes to you all. So many personalities- which is fantastic. I am a wreck mainly because of not sleeping- but drinking and benzos hasnt helped- (although i mean sincerely I am cutting back majorly- thats why i havent slept in a while). you guys are great- well I have my soup- feel like I can stay up longer for a while. how- i dont know, crazy- slept a few hours in the last few days. but thats not my point- my point is you guys are awesome and i appreciate that.
Love- Dub
Love- Dub
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello dub,my name is charmian n im an alcoholic.ive read a little of what you have written and you are in my prayers.you are really going through the wringer.im in recovery by the way and my worst day sober is not nearly as bad as a day drunk and hopelss.keep us posted and take care.:ghug
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
You know..Through what you have explained to us here the last few weeks. You sure do seem to stay positive none the less.
Even if your really not doin much to get better except taper.
I genuinely believe you want to stop but just dont know how. Or maybe you dont want to go through all the dramatics it takes to get started. It does take alot in the beginning sometimes.
But it smooths out in no time. As long as you stay commited and do what your suppose to do.
It isnt all rainbows and kittens. Everyone has those days. Clean or not.
But you do have a very pleasant personality to you.
Thats why it pains me a little to see you like that.
I am glad your eating something and trying to sleep.
I really wish you would take that big plunge and just go get some serious moves made.
Tapering is all fine and dandy. But then what?
You seem like such a gentle, smart, person.
Dont settle for this right here.
There is alot to live for. And it is so possible to stop the madness. And it really isnt that hard to do once you get going.
But you gotta make an effort dub.
I know you want to.
I really am so glad you come here and post.
Dont ever feel like you cant or we are tired of you. I personally am not.
I may tell you wake the F up hgere and there. But I am always here for you.IO hope you can get some rest soon.
I know what its like to not sleep for days at a time. It can really mess with your mind. And physically it is exhausting.
Even if your really not doin much to get better except taper.
I genuinely believe you want to stop but just dont know how. Or maybe you dont want to go through all the dramatics it takes to get started. It does take alot in the beginning sometimes.
But it smooths out in no time. As long as you stay commited and do what your suppose to do.
It isnt all rainbows and kittens. Everyone has those days. Clean or not.
But you do have a very pleasant personality to you.
Thats why it pains me a little to see you like that.
I am glad your eating something and trying to sleep.
I really wish you would take that big plunge and just go get some serious moves made.
Tapering is all fine and dandy. But then what?
You seem like such a gentle, smart, person.
Dont settle for this right here.
There is alot to live for. And it is so possible to stop the madness. And it really isnt that hard to do once you get going.
But you gotta make an effort dub.
I know you want to.
I really am so glad you come here and post.
Dont ever feel like you cant or we are tired of you. I personally am not.
I may tell you wake the F up hgere and there. But I am always here for you.IO hope you can get some rest soon.
I know what its like to not sleep for days at a time. It can really mess with your mind. And physically it is exhausting.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Originally Posted by Toomutch 
I'm glad that you are in a better place today dub...
IMO, you still need to seek medical attention.
Not trying to lecture you; I just want you to get well.
IMO, you still need to seek medical attention.
Not trying to lecture you; I just want you to get well.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
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Posts: 956
Originally Posted by Jules62
My dog is a huge source of comfort to me too Dub.I believe they DO know how we feel.I'm glad you have yours too.
Take care tonight,
Jules xox
Take care tonight,
Jules xox
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Hey Dub, I always enjoy your posts but I haven't really been there from the start and don;t know what it is that you are trying for.
It seems you have been tapering off Kolonpin, you drink a few cans of beer a night....so are you tapering off beer too or is it just the klonopin that's a problem.
BTW, you don't have to GO to a meeting, GET a sponsor etc, unless you want to lol.
It seems you have been tapering off Kolonpin, you drink a few cans of beer a night....so are you tapering off beer too or is it just the klonopin that's a problem.
BTW, you don't have to GO to a meeting, GET a sponsor etc, unless you want to lol.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by stone
Hey Dub, I always enjoy your posts but I haven't really been there from the start and don;t know what it is that you are trying for.
It seems you have been tapering off Kolonpin, you drink a few cans of beer a night....so are you tapering off beer too or is it just the klonopin that's a problem.
BTW, you don't have to GO to a meeting, GET a sponsor etc, unless you want to lol.
It seems you have been tapering off Kolonpin, you drink a few cans of beer a night....so are you tapering off beer too or is it just the klonopin that's a problem.
BTW, you don't have to GO to a meeting, GET a sponsor etc, unless you want to lol.
Hey Stone- cool avatar by the way....long story short I am tapering klonopin and beer at the same time- and never sleep. dry heaves, feel lethargic, depressed (which is the exact opposite of my normal personality) recently lost my job due to office shutting down- great economy we have here, family to support etc etc- the whole nine yards (which i never understood that- but anyway..why nine) I have a friend that i guess is a sponsor -he doesnt drink any longer (2 yrs sober- after 24 years, pretty close to me) - he is trying to get through to me, maybe I should break the barrier and start hanging with him more. Best to you- Dub
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
OK, thanks.
I have tapered off alcohol and it wasn't pretty, lol. Klonopin is a benzo isn't it?
You must be having a pretty hard time tapering both at the same time, mate. Hang in there and if things get hairy please do see a Doc.
I have tapered off alcohol and it wasn't pretty, lol. Klonopin is a benzo isn't it?
You must be having a pretty hard time tapering both at the same time, mate. Hang in there and if things get hairy please do see a Doc.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Dub, I see you doing exactly what I did for so many years. . . it's like you're standing at the side of the swimming pool, dipping your toe in and out. Then, you get a little courage (for me, after some bad consequences would take place) and start to walk into the shallow end. For me, slowly but surely, I always ended up getting right back out of the pool when I was trying to do it this way.
I hope you follow where I'm trying to go here. You said you're tapering, I hope this is going towards completely stopping all drinking and using. Not just stopping one, not smoking some pot here and there, completely getting off the crap. I tried everything except complete surrender and abstinance. None of that worked for me. I'd get down to just a few pills and then something would happen, I'd say f*ck it, eat a mess of pills and I was right back where I started before I knew what happened.
Believe me, I know how down right frightening it is to think about not having anything to calm your nerves, to help you relax . . . but you can do this! I know people say this all the time, but if I could, you can. We're close to the same age and I think you used for many, many years like I did. It was as much of a part of my life and breathing was and the thought of never drinking and drugging again was just beyond my comprehension. I couldn't imagine one day without using. I couldn't fathom how people could wake up each day without that obsession occupying every thought even before being totally coherant. How can someone go through the day without a little "assistance?" It was beyond me. But then I surrendered. At the time I looked at it as completely giving up. Now, I realize that I didn't "give up" I surrendered and found a better way of life.
You can do this, line up some resources, ask the God of your understanding to help you through this and just dive right in. Believe me, the water is just fine!
Praying for you,
Judy
I hope you follow where I'm trying to go here. You said you're tapering, I hope this is going towards completely stopping all drinking and using. Not just stopping one, not smoking some pot here and there, completely getting off the crap. I tried everything except complete surrender and abstinance. None of that worked for me. I'd get down to just a few pills and then something would happen, I'd say f*ck it, eat a mess of pills and I was right back where I started before I knew what happened.
Believe me, I know how down right frightening it is to think about not having anything to calm your nerves, to help you relax . . . but you can do this! I know people say this all the time, but if I could, you can. We're close to the same age and I think you used for many, many years like I did. It was as much of a part of my life and breathing was and the thought of never drinking and drugging again was just beyond my comprehension. I couldn't imagine one day without using. I couldn't fathom how people could wake up each day without that obsession occupying every thought even before being totally coherant. How can someone go through the day without a little "assistance?" It was beyond me. But then I surrendered. At the time I looked at it as completely giving up. Now, I realize that I didn't "give up" I surrendered and found a better way of life.
You can do this, line up some resources, ask the God of your understanding to help you through this and just dive right in. Believe me, the water is just fine!
Praying for you,
Judy
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Originally Posted by serenityqueen
Dub, I see you doing exactly what I did for so many years. . . it's like you're standing at the side of the swimming pool, dipping your toe in and out. Then, you get a little courage (for me, after some bad consequences would take place) and start to walk into the shallow end. For me, slowly but surely, I always ended up getting right back out of the pool when I was trying to do it this way.
I hope you follow where I'm trying to go here. You said you're tapering, I hope this is going towards completely stopping all drinking and using. Not just stopping one, not smoking some pot here and there, completely getting off the crap. I tried everything except complete surrender and abstinance. None of that worked for me. I'd get down to just a few pills and then something would happen, I'd say f*ck it, eat a mess of pills and I was right back where I started before I knew what happened.
Believe me, I know how down right frightening it is to think about not having anything to calm your nerves, to help you relax . . . but you can do this! I know people say this all the time, but if I could, you can. We're close to the same age and I think you used for many, many years like I did. It was as much of a part of my life and breathing was and the thought of never drinking and drugging again was just beyond my comprehension. I couldn't imagine one day without using. I couldn't fathom how people could wake up each day without that obsession occupying every thought even before being totally coherant. How can someone go through the day without a little "assistance?" It was beyond me. But then I surrendered. At the time I looked at it as completely giving up. Now, I realize that I didn't "give up" I surrendered and found a better way of life.
You can do this, line up some resources, ask the God of your understanding to help you through this and just dive right in. Believe me, the water is just fine!
Praying for you,
Judy
I hope you follow where I'm trying to go here. You said you're tapering, I hope this is going towards completely stopping all drinking and using. Not just stopping one, not smoking some pot here and there, completely getting off the crap. I tried everything except complete surrender and abstinance. None of that worked for me. I'd get down to just a few pills and then something would happen, I'd say f*ck it, eat a mess of pills and I was right back where I started before I knew what happened.
Believe me, I know how down right frightening it is to think about not having anything to calm your nerves, to help you relax . . . but you can do this! I know people say this all the time, but if I could, you can. We're close to the same age and I think you used for many, many years like I did. It was as much of a part of my life and breathing was and the thought of never drinking and drugging again was just beyond my comprehension. I couldn't imagine one day without using. I couldn't fathom how people could wake up each day without that obsession occupying every thought even before being totally coherant. How can someone go through the day without a little "assistance?" It was beyond me. But then I surrendered. At the time I looked at it as completely giving up. Now, I realize that I didn't "give up" I surrendered and found a better way of life.
You can do this, line up some resources, ask the God of your understanding to help you through this and just dive right in. Believe me, the water is just fine!
Praying for you,
Judy
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