Craigslist Fiance
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,582
Craigslist Fiance
Hi.
On the Today Show this morning, the attorney for the fiance of the Craigslist killer says that despite evidence to the contrary she is standing by her man and says he is not guilty. I think that this is a great analogy for many of us here...but in an extreme form.
My heart goes out to this woman. As many here have written, when the world tells us that HE is not the guy for us for whatever reason, we sometimes love or want so badly for things to work out that we enter states of denial that no one around us comprehends. While her devotion to him is at best loving, her refusal to believe his actions (with evidence) is amazing.
I feel for her as I did the same thing. L would get multiple DUIs, in fights, lie, etc...and I always wanted to believe him, so I stood by him until the evidence and my sanity were at stake. I pray for this woman and hope that she removes herself far enough from the situation to "see" clearly.
Although this supposed killer may or may not be an A, he sure does exemplify the sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies that many of us have endured.
THought for the day: thank God we are not in that position.
Miss
On the Today Show this morning, the attorney for the fiance of the Craigslist killer says that despite evidence to the contrary she is standing by her man and says he is not guilty. I think that this is a great analogy for many of us here...but in an extreme form.
My heart goes out to this woman. As many here have written, when the world tells us that HE is not the guy for us for whatever reason, we sometimes love or want so badly for things to work out that we enter states of denial that no one around us comprehends. While her devotion to him is at best loving, her refusal to believe his actions (with evidence) is amazing.
I feel for her as I did the same thing. L would get multiple DUIs, in fights, lie, etc...and I always wanted to believe him, so I stood by him until the evidence and my sanity were at stake. I pray for this woman and hope that she removes herself far enough from the situation to "see" clearly.
Although this supposed killer may or may not be an A, he sure does exemplify the sociopathic and psychopathic tendencies that many of us have endured.
THought for the day: thank God we are not in that position.
Miss
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: West Midlands, UK
Posts: 107
I can identify which your thoughts, My XA set fire, purposely to my kitchen whilst I was upstairs then walked away without a thought, thankfully our daughter wasn't in the house and also the noise led me to come downstairs and extinguish it. he was arrested as neighbours had called the police and will stand trial for Arson next month where I am due to be the main witness. My family and friends want him to have nothing to do with us ever again. Social services have advised me the same, I work full time, struggle to raise her and he is still not working, not contributing and drinking daily............ and me?
Still wishing he could be the man I wanted him to, still meeting him for family days out, still loving him.
I just wish I could 'see clearly'
Thanks for the useful thoughts. xxxxxx
Still wishing he could be the man I wanted him to, still meeting him for family days out, still loving him.
I just wish I could 'see clearly'
Thanks for the useful thoughts. xxxxxx
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Between the ocean and the mountains
Posts: 653
Yes, if he is guilty....as seems quite true....then he is a different kind of addict with a different kind of addiction: an addiction to the psychopathic thrill of terrorizing, and murdering, women. Just like a drug, he needs more and more experiences to get that lift.
She has experienced only the "beautiful" (her word) side of him, so she cannot react any other way, for now.
But, you know, as we all probably know, there were probably brief glimpses and that unsettling feeling in the gut that things were not lining up. I, for one, was quite adept at IMMEDIATELY minimizing or denying those signals from the cosmos that something was WRONG.
It's the dance and the trance.
She has experienced only the "beautiful" (her word) side of him, so she cannot react any other way, for now.
But, you know, as we all probably know, there were probably brief glimpses and that unsettling feeling in the gut that things were not lining up. I, for one, was quite adept at IMMEDIATELY minimizing or denying those signals from the cosmos that something was WRONG.
It's the dance and the trance.
A jug fills drop by drop
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Denial, the main weapon of addiction...
To this day I am still in denial about FACTS... and sometimes I wonder what I am doing in AA, Al anon, here... cannot accept he is an AH (what's wrong with me??)
In some aspects we are the lucky ones, I imagine how many others out there are living daily hells just because of denial *shrugs*
To this day I am still in denial about FACTS... and sometimes I wonder what I am doing in AA, Al anon, here... cannot accept he is an AH (what's wrong with me??)
In some aspects we are the lucky ones, I imagine how many others out there are living daily hells just because of denial *shrugs*
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