Sweets79

Hi, as you can see I'm new here. I just discovered this site the other day and it seemed like a nice place to vent and get advice from people going through the same/similar thing. I'm a 29 year old female who has been drinking for about 4 years now, I would say pretty heavily on a daily basis...It always depended on what was going on though. The worse I felt the more I'd drink that day. It could have ranged from 2 pints of vodka in one day or maybe just a few shots.... There might have been two or three months all together in that 4 year time period that I didn't have a drink, and that was probably when things were going okay...anyway, the most I have stopped for was about a month...now it's been a few days and I am really craving a drink. The main reason I started drinking was because I was having a hard time with something that was going on in my life and then everytime something I couldn't deal with emotionally happened, I would turn to the bottle. The depression came back full force with alot of other unpleasant feelings now that I haven't had a drink for a few days. How has anyone else coped with this? Any advice? This seems like the hardest part, but I don't know how much easier it gets.

Relief

Welcom Sweets. I wish I could be of more help, but it's only been a couple of days for me too. I'd say that coming here and posting is a fantastic start, and you may want to consider going to an AA meeting. I've only been to three, but they have been great so far -- especially during the tough period.

Hang tough!

Sweets79

Thanks for replying I can't believe how hard it is, it just feels so strange not having that initial drink for the day...like I said I've gone without for a month straight before, but that was probably because my adrenaline was so high and I was so happy and looking forward to something, that I cut out the alcohol, started a diet and had great willpower, but like I said when things go really wrong (which has been an ongoing thing with me int he past few years) I run to drink...it's so hard right now to not get up and go to the liquor store..but I am trying. I will consider a meeting maybe in the near future. At one time I attended a few Adult Children of Alcoholic meetings (I know it's not the same as AA, I just wanted to see what it was about, being my father is an alcoholic)...Just trying to get through one day at a time I guess. Good luck to you also.

Relief

I hear you. The start of the day is particularly hard for me as well. A lot of the time I wake-up in a panic wondering what I am going to do if I don't drink today. I think we all drink at some point to run away from something that is going wrong or has already gone wrong. Find something else to do -- go for a run, go shopping, read a book . . . anything to occupy your mind at the time the cravings are the worst.

Sweets79

I'm not sure if it's just me, but I know when I don't have that first drink I am the crankiest person in the world...That's what I'm having a hard time dealing with today...I don't want to be alone, yet I don't want to be around anyone if you can understand that. I think that's part of the depression too, but the cravings are really really tough. I mean I can take a bath, go for a walk with my friend and her dog, but it's always gnawing at me...I sound like such a downer, but this is all what I am really feeling.. I will try to think of a few things to do to try to push these cravings away for now...I am just definitely not the most pleasant person to be around today.

keithj

Well, that all depends. It gets a whole bunch easier provided you are willing to do what it takes to recover. It's not at all surprising that the depression is raging. Your only solution has been missing for the last few days. There's a rather outspoken AA speaker who claims that for a heavy drinker that just needs to moderate, every day not drinking gets better. For an alcoholic, every day not drinking just gets worse. That's why real recovery is so much more than just not drinking.

Look over these forums. Look at the AA stuff and the secular stuff as well as the newcomer stuff. Read and see where the sickness is and where the recovery is. I see so many people come into the rooms of AA, or onto these forums, post gung ho about starting recovery, only to disappear quickly. It's not that they aren't sincere, it's just that they try to replace the drinking with something that isn't sufficient to bring about a complete psychic change. And the addiction gobbles them up.

AA is the only solution I personally know. Others are qualified to speak of other recovery programs. Without fail, everyone I know who has followed AA's program of recovery has recovered. Simple as that. The folks I see that come around and just try to stay strong and commisserate with others in the same boat, end up telling tales of continual relapse.

If you become convinced that staying strong and trying really hard not to drink will not work for you, then you may be willing to go to any lengths to recover. Find out, and join those of us who no longer struggle with the drink problem.

Mary52

What I've been told in the rooms of AA id that "willpower" is no good. "Willingness" is the key. "RARELY, have we see a person fail who has THOROUGHLY followed our path...." All from the rooms and AA literature....not from me. But I agree with it....

bugsworth

Sweets...early recovery can be a bear...the first few days can seem endless...but I promise you there is a light at the end of the tunnel. There were times I drank cause I drank...crazy what active addiction can do to a person. Remember cravings can't make you drink...only you can do that...you are in control of your mind and your body...the thing is you need to want to be sober more than you want to drink. The voice in your head will scream at you to drink...you know it will and you need to never give in...like a spoiled child it quiets down. You have a whole life to live...live it sober...live it with all its color not clouded by booze. There are many paths to sobriety....find the one that works for you.

least

The first few days are your withdrawal from alcohol, and it can be rough. But as was said, it does get better and being sober is so worth the effort. Hang in there and don't pick up that first drink. You can get thru this and you will feel better. Just don't give in to the cravings. It DOES get better.

Sweets79

Thanks again for the kind words...It's strange how everything seems different when you're sober...feelings are different, the way you see certain people seems different... It's kind of scary, thinking of going without it.I know when I had that drink everything seemed to have a little bit more of a positive outlook. I guess now everything is hitting me...I will continue reading and try to keep myself busy.

bugsworth

Sweets it is scary thinking about life without alcohol...scarier yet is the thought of living the life of an active alcoholic. I wish I would have quit when I was 29...I was about 5 years into my addiction by then...I ignored all the signs and pressed forward...losing my 30's to all the misery that alcohol brings. Thankfully I am happy to say that my 40's will not be marred by my lack of commitment to do what I know is the right thing. You can do this if you want to...again you have to really want to.

adore79

Hi and welcome The first week is the hardest but it does get better. Good job reaching out for help, you can get a lot of support and info here. Just dont drink no matter what!

Sweets79

I'm about 4-5 years into mine and 29. Hopefully I can start recovering and my 30's can be better then the last few years of my 20's...My father is an alcoholic and he really just brought alot of misery to everyone. I don't want to be like him, so the thought of being an active alcoholic is scary, but I find myself being like him in certain ways, especially with the alcohol and that scares me...I guess the hardest part is when I think of something that hurts me so bad or that confuses me so much and I can't understand why people do such things...I have to realize everyone goes through things like that and I have to work through those feelings and not use drinking to numb it..easier said than done I guess.

joinedintime

sweets, haven't read any posts here except for yours because I only have a minute

you are way ahead of many of us in that you've decided to get serious after "only" 4 years of drinking. good job. you could save so many painful years of life. wish I had done the same.

Sweets79

Thank you Usually if I don't go to the store, I'd ask someone to go for me...I really have that urge but I haven't given into it today.

bugsworth

Misery surrounds those in active addiction...sounds like you know the path you are on...time to walk down a new one...scary yes...confusing yes...worth it? Without question. Stay connected here at SR...reach out when things get hard. Sobriety is free for the taking.

Sweets79

Thanks for your response..I am definitely serious, but I know it's not easy, and I might have to go into a program. I will start by posting here, and see how everything goes in the following days/weeks. Usually it will take one thing to set me off, and that's it...or even sometimes if things are going good, I would drink because I would always fear something going wrong or just to maintain my good mood. I'm trying to avoid any stress and/or dissapointment I can for now because those are my biggest triggers..I know stress and dissapointment are an unavoidable part of life, so I think it's better I just concentrate on myself for now and avoid anything that could possibly set me off... again that's easier said than done. I will do my best.

joedris

Sweets, Get the to an AA meeting. Early sobriety isn't a lot of fun. You're forced to face reality rather than hide from it behind a bottle of vodka. (Reminds me of myself several years ago). AA works. And as a few have said before me, it does gey easier as time goes on. And it's easier to not drink today than it is to get sober tomorrow.

CarolD

Good to see you are seeking a new sober life....
Keep in focus and do keep posting.

Yes you too can quit and stay quit.

Sweets79

Thanks all...I appreciate all the support I can get.