faith12

A few months ago I finally got up and left my AW after years of pain and turmoil. I had to leave my own house and loose much of what I had to do this. I left in the middle of the night after that last physically and mentally abusive episode from that time in my life with my AW. I got a place and slept on an air mattress with a sleeping bag for a couple of months with few possessions. My wife has sued me for alimony and has kept most all of things I have from me with little way for me to fight back in court. Regardless I have managed to claw my way back. I now have my own place that is most of the way furnished and is comfortable and safe. I have friends, al-anon and a job that I really like. I've concentrated on all of these things as well as going to the gym each and every day. Now I also have a therapist that I see every couple of weeks to add to the mix. This has been the worst year of my life but the best year as well. I'm in control of my life for the most part. I wish I could speed the divorce proceedings but my wife digs in her heels and drags it out for every single thing she can get from me. It's a long story but hopefully in another couple of months I can finally be done. It will take a lot to pay her off but I have no choice. The anger used to drive me insane daily but all of the things I mentioned above have helped me through. I'm learning to "let go and let God" more and more. It wont' be that much longer now. I can make it and I know I've been through the worst of it. Leaving is hard guys. It would be a joke for me to say it isn't. I'm getting stronger and stronger now though. I will live and so will you if you choose to go. That's the hardest part to grasp. You don't think you can live but I'm here to say you will. You really will. Hang in there. Stay with it. Do not sit alone and dwell get out and keep your mind and body busy. It will help you through and give you something to strive for. Take good care. I'll check in again. Chris

anubus

Thank you Chris, for posting this. I am on the opposite end altogether, a female who had to throw her beloved ABF out, so not the same as you, but still similar amount of suffering I think.

It's courageous of you to post, to help all the guys out who are in similar situations. Sounds like God is blessing your efforts. Hugs!!

tallulah

:ghug

thanks for posting this Chris.. it is just what I need to read today..

isurvived

Chris: Thanks for posting your story. You are right, it is hard. But it is worth it!!!!! My divorce is final in just a few short days, and I am most anxious to get it over and done. My situation was a bit different, I stayed, and forced him out with a domestic abuse injunction. He was violent when intoxicated, and became violent even when dry in efforts to protect his habit — that "denial" thing was in full force, and he was determined to protect his alcohol at all expense.

I am guessing it was harder to be the one to have to leave. I found my home a haven. I was safe in my familiar surroundings. I know it was tougher for you. BUT, you made it work! And you'll come out with a better life when it is all done and said. A home and belongings can be hard to lose as well, but the freedom of leaving the A is worth it.

Congrats to you, and I know you will have much happiness in your future.

want2bfreenow

Thanks for posting this Chris and congrats on how far you've come! It's tough, that's for sure, but sounds like you are coming through stronger and better than ever!

cmc

Thanks Chris, for sharing your story here. I'm so glad to see you being so pro-active in your recovery. You are one of the fortunate ones who understands what the Serenity Prayer is about and I look forward to hearing more from you as your life continues to change for the better.
WTG..It takes alot of courage and strength to do what it takes to step away from the insanity. We're here to offer support and ESH during this life transition.
God bless you. (((faith12)))

kittycat1164

Like I said in an earlier post... this has been the worst and at the same time the best year of my life. You and I seem to be starting over about the same time. Glad you posted - I've often wondered how you were doing. I'm thrilled things are going well for you.

faith12

Thanks everyone. Your comments keep me going too. I'll post in a while and update. I'm getting ready to date after 7 years again as well. (scary) I think I may have to find a different website to get the advice I need on that!! People always tell me how excited I will be to be with someone that is just kind and loving to me. I had to take a step back for a second and think about that. That's true I will appreciate that and it will be new to me as I haven't had that in a while. Don't worry I'm not rushing it just getting there slowly. Hang in there everyone.

TakingCharge999

Hi faith thanks a lot for your words of encouragement, I needed them today.
(((((hugs)))))))

Mair

Way to go Chris