you are beautiful.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
you are beautiful.
Im sitting here awake when i should be in bed asleep.
Something bothered me deeply today....i feel deep sorrow for a new friend.
she has completely no self esteem....she was bullied by family....friends....siblings
work colleages.......all her life........
driving her to several REAL suicide attempts
She is beautiful in my eyes........she has an inner beauty i rarely come across in a human being.......she is gods child.
If im honest i want to rage.....i feel blind rage......and i just cant sleep.
Reminded me of that song by christiana...something or other.. "called you are beautiful"....
Why the f.....k do human beings treat some human beings so badly because they dont look like me or you......how shallow some are.
bullys just make me boil........and cause so much deep long term pain.
God designed us all different.......whats normal anyway.
God save me from being shallow and destroying people from the inside.
For the record.......she has been touched by the father of light....and is sober today......
She is beautiful........i saw her around some aninmals today.....man this kid has a gift with aninmals........she is so loving.
Not surprising really since its the aninmals that love her unconditionally.
Sorry for the rant.........it just makes me wanna weep.
Dont matter how sober i get..........very occasionally i just wanna start punching people again...
thats just how i feel today..
trucker
Something bothered me deeply today....i feel deep sorrow for a new friend.
she has completely no self esteem....she was bullied by family....friends....siblings
work colleages.......all her life........
driving her to several REAL suicide attempts
She is beautiful in my eyes........she has an inner beauty i rarely come across in a human being.......she is gods child.
If im honest i want to rage.....i feel blind rage......and i just cant sleep.
Reminded me of that song by christiana...something or other.. "called you are beautiful"....
Why the f.....k do human beings treat some human beings so badly because they dont look like me or you......how shallow some are.
bullys just make me boil........and cause so much deep long term pain.
God designed us all different.......whats normal anyway.
God save me from being shallow and destroying people from the inside.
For the record.......she has been touched by the father of light....and is sober today......
She is beautiful........i saw her around some aninmals today.....man this kid has a gift with aninmals........she is so loving.
Not surprising really since its the aninmals that love her unconditionally.
Sorry for the rant.........it just makes me wanna weep.
Dont matter how sober i get..........very occasionally i just wanna start punching people again...
thats just how i feel today..
trucker
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Trucker...
hi... theres a chat meting on about acceptance just now if you wanna head in..
I hate bullying... i had it alot all my life....
Im sorry i dont have any words... just know you are a good guy and she'll remember you for what you do.
hi... theres a chat meting on about acceptance just now if you wanna head in..
I hate bullying... i had it alot all my life....
Im sorry i dont have any words... just know you are a good guy and she'll remember you for what you do.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 42
Trucker - I hear you. Sometimes, I am so overcome by how sh**ty people can be, how much pain there is in the world, and how much suffering is felt by so many helpless children, animals and other defenseless people... It makes me understand the attraction of why I numbed out the way I did. Your compassion is beautiful, and although it must hurt to be awake and thinking of it, I hope she knows that someone out there sees her for the wonderful person she is.
Jayne
Jayne
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
I get this-more than you know.
My son was bullied at 13 to the point he wanted to die and almost did.
He is now 20, a survivor, and one of the kindest people I know.It should never had happened to him, and it broke my heart at the time.But he made something 'out of the ashes' as they say, and I couldn't be more proud of the compassionate man he has become-despite this sh*tty world(which I hated for a very long time because of this-believe me.I wanted to kill the people that hurt him)
Not everyone in the world is an *ss-but I understand you feeling this way very much.
Keep believing in your friend and remind her often of the wonderful person she is.
My thoughts are with you,
Jules xox
My son was bullied at 13 to the point he wanted to die and almost did.
He is now 20, a survivor, and one of the kindest people I know.It should never had happened to him, and it broke my heart at the time.But he made something 'out of the ashes' as they say, and I couldn't be more proud of the compassionate man he has become-despite this sh*tty world(which I hated for a very long time because of this-believe me.I wanted to kill the people that hurt him)
Not everyone in the world is an *ss-but I understand you feeling this way very much.
Keep believing in your friend and remind her often of the wonderful person she is.
My thoughts are with you,
Jules xox
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
hey trucker
Well- i hear you. if i see that crap, i usually step in and get in a confrontation, which may be wrong. I am pretty passive on most things but if someone is being done wrong I get involved. again- maybe not good advice- just me.... you hang in there my friend.
dub
dub
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thanks Trucker for sharing that. As I read
what u wrote it sounded like you were describing
me.
I was physically and verbally abused my entire
childhood like till i left home at 18.
Family members who r suppose to be the one
u trust hurt me the most. Then the kids from
kindergarten too graduation were so critical
of me. I was mocked and made fun of till i
began to stand up for myself which then
caused an after school fight on the parking
lot.
Anyway.....people r cruel.
Today i still feel vunerable and altho I dont
have to drink over those circumstances
anymore, i still feel like damaged goods.
A little child of God who was so cruely hurt.
No child should ever have to endure such
pain. Yet i was and i can never forget.
Im still a child but in a grown womans body.
Today Im blessed with an awesome program in
my life to live by and a new spouse to share
my life with one day at a time.
what u wrote it sounded like you were describing
me.
I was physically and verbally abused my entire
childhood like till i left home at 18.
Family members who r suppose to be the one
u trust hurt me the most. Then the kids from
kindergarten too graduation were so critical
of me. I was mocked and made fun of till i
began to stand up for myself which then
caused an after school fight on the parking
lot.
Anyway.....people r cruel.
Today i still feel vunerable and altho I dont
have to drink over those circumstances
anymore, i still feel like damaged goods.
A little child of God who was so cruely hurt.
No child should ever have to endure such
pain. Yet i was and i can never forget.
Im still a child but in a grown womans body.
Today Im blessed with an awesome program in
my life to live by and a new spouse to share
my life with one day at a time.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Recently two 11-yr. olds hung themselves (Massachusetts & Georgia) because of relentless bullying. I saw both mothers interviewed. They had gone to authorities numerous times - nothing stopped it.
Jules, that's disgusting your boy had to endure such treatment. Mine had a similar situation for a few years. I feel it prevented him from thriving the way he might have. (I remember lurking in the bushes near the playground to see who was saying what to him.) I can relate to wanting to do harm to the perpetrators. Back then, I was told it was just a normal part of childhood. There's nothing normal about hate and cruelty.
Trucker, I'm glad you brought this up. I had thought the world would be a kinder place by now, but we have far to go. Being able to share our thoughts takes the sting out of it.
Jules, that's disgusting your boy had to endure such treatment. Mine had a similar situation for a few years. I feel it prevented him from thriving the way he might have. (I remember lurking in the bushes near the playground to see who was saying what to him.) I can relate to wanting to do harm to the perpetrators. Back then, I was told it was just a normal part of childhood. There's nothing normal about hate and cruelty.
Trucker, I'm glad you brought this up. I had thought the world would be a kinder place by now, but we have far to go. Being able to share our thoughts takes the sting out of it.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
I was picked on and made fun of in school. I"ve never forgotten it, nor have I forgotten those who were nice to me. I brought up my girls to never make fun of or harass anyone due to looks or circumstances beyond their control.
Keep on being her friend. Keep encouraging her with kindness. Bullying is so cruel and unnecessary but the bullies must learn it at home. The bullies themselves are 'damaged goods' - they just don't know it, more's the pity.
Keep on being her friend. Keep encouraging her with kindness. Bullying is so cruel and unnecessary but the bullies must learn it at home. The bullies themselves are 'damaged goods' - they just don't know it, more's the pity.
Moving out of Limbo
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Today
Posts: 343
My little brother got bullied when he was a kid in grade school. So this issue brings up emotion from within.
The other parents of the bullies would always make the excuse "that's how kids are. Some just need to learn how to stand up for themselves."
All the while their kids would pick on my brother, then he would come home greeted by our alcoholic home, with a drunk stepdad verbally abusing him.
I love my brother. I used to feel bad that I didn't do more to help him when I was a kid. I felt bad even then, but didn't know how to face my emotions on the matter, so I just bottled them up. I was a lost kid too.
My bro and I are close now. I still would like to talk to him sometime about this stuff that he has buried deep within himself for years.
So I have seen the long term effects of this kind of abuse on someone from an early age through young adulthood. I get angry.
But I have to remember that those kids who bullied him and my stepdad that bullied him had no guidance, and they were lost too. I have to be open minded about their lives too, and many of them had the same kind of childhood. That opens the door to compassion for everyone involved.
“Reconciliation is to understand both sides; to go to one side and describe the suffering being endured by the other side, and then go to the other side and describe the suffering being endured by the first side.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
The other parents of the bullies would always make the excuse "that's how kids are. Some just need to learn how to stand up for themselves."
All the while their kids would pick on my brother, then he would come home greeted by our alcoholic home, with a drunk stepdad verbally abusing him.
I love my brother. I used to feel bad that I didn't do more to help him when I was a kid. I felt bad even then, but didn't know how to face my emotions on the matter, so I just bottled them up. I was a lost kid too.
My bro and I are close now. I still would like to talk to him sometime about this stuff that he has buried deep within himself for years.
So I have seen the long term effects of this kind of abuse on someone from an early age through young adulthood. I get angry.
But I have to remember that those kids who bullied him and my stepdad that bullied him had no guidance, and they were lost too. I have to be open minded about their lives too, and many of them had the same kind of childhood. That opens the door to compassion for everyone involved.
“Reconciliation is to understand both sides; to go to one side and describe the suffering being endured by the other side, and then go to the other side and describe the suffering being endured by the first side.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central, La.
Posts: 422
Bullying is a terrible thing. I remember bullying by "friends" but worst of all was the "bullying" done by my parents. The scars run deep and the thought of such injustice makes my soul burn. It is deeply wrong on all levels. aasharon90, I can especially identify with your comments. I have learned through a collective number of days that these are sick people too. How else does the "generational curse" get perpetuated? When we have had enough and are willing to do whatever it takes to change, then removing ourselves from the abusers' world do we begin to work on ourselves and ultimately find forgiveness, not only for ourselves, but for the abusers who are sick themselves. Maybe we can hope that through or actions in recovery others may see the positive change and look inside themselves (if they are capable).... We can only get better when we get "sick and tired of being sick and tired" and make that change to another, better, healthier, way of living. Then we make our own contribution towards stemming the generational curse.....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Thankyou for all your thoughts.
i woke up this morning with the "steam" gone........
With reflection and calmness i have to ask myself......how can i best help this person...
Not by bullying the bullys............you cant fight fire with fire.
And anyway this person is sick of others anger.....im sure.
A better way would be to support her to stand up for herself......i guess.
Its not that often i get that angry........and i apoligize for any offensive.
i am sober today and so is she........hopefully she will soon find a new freedom and happyness.......god knows she deserves it.
happy sunday friends and god bless..................trucker
i woke up this morning with the "steam" gone........
With reflection and calmness i have to ask myself......how can i best help this person...
Not by bullying the bullys............you cant fight fire with fire.
And anyway this person is sick of others anger.....im sure.
A better way would be to support her to stand up for herself......i guess.
Its not that often i get that angry........and i apoligize for any offensive.
i am sober today and so is she........hopefully she will soon find a new freedom and happyness.......god knows she deserves it.
happy sunday friends and god bless..................trucker
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Trucker you sound like an awesome person, to feel what you feel is a great thing. I agree that fighting fire with fire is not the answer, be her champion, sometimes that is the best thing to do for someone whom has been so torn down. I was an abused child and grew up into a fragile adult with absolutely no self confidence and scared of the world. When I was in my late 20s I met a man whom I thought was wayyyy above me, successful, handsome etc. We married, (then after 6 years he left me for another woman but that's beside the point) his confidence in me gave me something that money can not buy. Even now 15 years after he's been gone I often tell people that when I think of him I think of the song "To Sir, with love" because he did for me what the song says:
Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone,
But in my mind,
I know they will still live on and on,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try,
If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,
That would soar a thousand feet high,
To Sir, with Love
The time has come,
For closing books and long last looks must end,
And as I leave,
I know that I am leaving my best friend,
A friend who taught me right from wrong,
And weak from strong,
That's a lot to learn,
What, what can I give you in return?
If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,
But I, would rather you let me give my heart,
To Sir, with Love
Judy
Those schoolgirl days, of telling tales and biting nails are gone,
But in my mind,
I know they will still live on and on,
But how do you thank someone, who has taken you from crayons to perfume?
It isn't easy, but I'll try,
If you wanted the sky I would write across the sky in letters,
That would soar a thousand feet high,
To Sir, with Love
The time has come,
For closing books and long last looks must end,
And as I leave,
I know that I am leaving my best friend,
A friend who taught me right from wrong,
And weak from strong,
That's a lot to learn,
What, what can I give you in return?
If you wanted the moon I would try to make a start,
But I, would rather you let me give my heart,
To Sir, with Love
Judy
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