Serenidad

Hello- I need help. I have been sober for one year and I am really getting tired of AA. I worked all 12 steps and am on my second time through. I have a sponsor. I go to meetings. BUT........

I am sick and tired of it!!! There are so many sick people in the rooms. I recently was literally harrassed by some really sick woman who scared the heck out of me!

I feel trapped. I am so scared that if I stop going to AA, I will drink again because that is what everyone in the meetings say! They scare the heck out of me. I feel like alcohol had control over me and now I feel like AA has control over me.

What should I do??? Does anyone have long-term sobriety without AA??? Can it be done???

Thanks! Jen

Mark75

Awesome on a full year of sobriety!! AA works for me, but it's not the only way. There are some terrific folks here in good recovery without AA, they will be along shortly.

Mark

Aysha

Hi Jen..Glad to see you back.

I dont have any advice on that topic.
I dont do meetings. And dont plan on it.

Have you checked out the secular forum?

Great job on a year.

adore79

Hi Jen, wonderful job on 1 year, wow that is awesome!

Here is a link w/info on other recovery programs:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

Dee74

hi Jen

Well I've never been to AA - I have two years. I know 51Anna has 8 years and counting. I know many other ppl here who've left AA and who stayed sober....so no - you do not need AA to be sober.

But is it all AA you're talking about or just a particular meeting? If you haven't tried already, try some different meetings maybe? AA's worked for you for a year after all.

It might also be a PAWS thing, or the one year itch, you know? It's hard to maintain enthusiasm sometimes, but it may just be a phase.

If you do leave AA the most important thing to remember is there's no monster out there waiting to pounce on you. I believe we're all in control - if we want to be.

If you do the work - just like you've been doing - and if you never ever raise that glass to your lips, you'll be ok.

Good luck
D

Taking5

First of all, AA groups are like people - some are sicker than others. You can change AA groups. I personally have been to some AA groups that I thank God I never went to early in sobriety or else I'd still be out there.

Secondly, no AA is not the only way. There are many people who like yourself, rely heavily on AA early in sobriety and later on drift away. There are also secular recovery groups such as SMART, etc. I have also heard that more people sober up on their own than do with AA.

coffeenut

Hi Jen.....I'm 10 months sober w/o AA. SR is my AA. So yeah...it can be done.

You gotta do what works for YOU.

A HUGE congrats on a year! How cool is that!

CarolD

Well done on your recovery progress.....

I think you might want to consider trying different groups
if that is possible in your area.

You know AA members come and go often
for various reasons..
I'm sure ..not all return to drinking.

Best wishes whatever you decide

marty888

Its the only thing helping me at the moment, I tried myself and did 42 days then relapsed hard, I am finding its helping me incredibly, understand its not for everyone though

bugsworth

Hi Jen...sobriety is in no way contingent on aa. I was active in aa for 10 months till I had had enough of what you described and I left...not only did I not relapse or die but my sobriety is much better for it. Many people stay because of the fear tactics used...and many people stay because it is the only place they can remain sick yet still be commended for their behavior...progress not perfection...yuck. I would advise cutting back on meetings till you are comfortable leaving all together. Congrats on your year! Best of luck!

Rowan

Obviously AA is not the only way - and it's very much a personal choice. It's working for me, and has brought so much joy into my life I couldn't imagine not going. Besides, it gives me the opportunity to work with new people and I love that.

Whatever you decide, my sincere best to you.

tommyk

I'd suggest different meetings.

Also, I do this sometimes - arrive 2 minutes late and leave 2 minutes early, you can avoid contact with people you don't want to talk with.

Can sobriety be attained without AA? Sure... I can tell the dentist no novacaine too... but they both REALLY ease the pain.

Concentrate on YOUR recovery, allow others their own journey.

tk1fry

Congrats on the year! I go back and forth on AA also. I did my 90 and 90 and met a lot of sick people like you have, and I took off. But I found some other meetings with poeple more like me and that helps.

But, see if your health care provider provides group sessions, mine does and they are really great. Also If you went to a detox or rehab they might offer some "after care". Maybe get a therapist also. Those work for me, just some ideas for you.

Oh yeah, you could also join a web site called SR, I heard its worth checking out.

:day2

Serenidad

Thanks Guys!!!

aasharon90

I live the 12 steps in my everyday life.
And I share my own experience,
strengths and hopes with others in
order to stay sober myself.

I cant keep what I have if i dont give
it away. And there are lots of ways
to share ur own ESH with others.

Right here in SR for me is another
good tool to use in my recovery and
i feel comfortable sharing my ESH with
others in the comforts of my own home.

SR has been a life line for me in recovery
when i am not able to make a face to face
meeting.

Work ur program at ur own pace because
there are no 2 people working exactly the same
program.

Mattcake

Jen, it's good to see you again!!

If AA has worked so far, maybe you could add a complementary activity to your recovery programme? Both individual and group therapy might be a good idea.

By the way, as I understand it, each chapter of AA has a different feel to it; if you don't feel comfortable in your current situation, maybe you could consider changing your home group/sponsor. Just a thought.

Congrats on one year

Zencat

As AA being the only way...no. There many ways to get and stay sober in a healthy way. AA is a popular way with many and many meetings all over the world. I use the Sober Recovery forums, addiction treatment groups at my local clinic, DRA and AA as a varied path for my personalized addiction treatment program. So far I've enjoyed a great deal of better health because of my commitment to heal by utilizing all the available treatment options within my means. Maybe expand your treatment resources and bring a greater balance into your recovery... it works for me.

Anna

Jen,

I am not an AA person, and I have 81/2 years sober.

shaun00

Is aa the only way.............yes of course....

wait for it....................................

Lol...lol...lol.........sorry just teasing.

There are lots of good people on here that got and stay sober without AA.

Check out some of the replys.

I think we all take a different bus but we all want to get to the same destination....contented sobriety...

Im not arrogant enough to think my way is the only way.....

i hope you find the right route for you.........god be with you.

trucker

NewDayNow

Hi Jen,

Good Advise here, All around. I have two good friends now sober and happy for many years without AA. They both agree AA is the way for me and I have taken their advice. I respect their opinions.

It is up to you,

Ed