feeling discouraged and hopeless...
I'm just a girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 170
feeling discouraged and hopeless...
Hi everyone,
I am really struggling right now. I am on day 76 and nothing seems to be getting better...when will this get better? My life isn't any better now than it was when I was drinking...and yeah, I know that every one will point out that it is better because I am not drinking. But, to be honest...I am about to give up. What is the point of fighting everyday just to go through the same crap all over again the next day. Sorry if this is a downer post, I just needed to get let this out. Thanks for listening.
I am really struggling right now. I am on day 76 and nothing seems to be getting better...when will this get better? My life isn't any better now than it was when I was drinking...and yeah, I know that every one will point out that it is better because I am not drinking. But, to be honest...I am about to give up. What is the point of fighting everyday just to go through the same crap all over again the next day. Sorry if this is a downer post, I just needed to get let this out. Thanks for listening.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi,
I am sorry that you're going through a rough time right now. Be proud of herself for how far you're come. You're doing really well, and being patient with yourself is the answer right now.
Recovery is a journey and at times it's not all smooth-sailing. Stopping drinking is the beginning and that's when the hard work began, for me. What other things in your life have you changed, besides stopping drinking?
I am sorry that you're going through a rough time right now. Be proud of herself for how far you're come. You're doing really well, and being patient with yourself is the answer right now.
Recovery is a journey and at times it's not all smooth-sailing. Stopping drinking is the beginning and that's when the hard work began, for me. What other things in your life have you changed, besides stopping drinking?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: San Rafael CA
Posts: 36
I'm can't even come close to touching the work that you have done with 76 days sober. You are an inspiration to me! Life gives us tests and sometimes we can't see the end of it but once you work through this just imagine what else you can conquer.
Stay Strong!
Stay Strong!
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
What is the point of fighting everyday just to go through the same crap all over again the next day.
My days are darkest when I obsess about a difficult situation and blow it out of proportion. The anxiety I create is unreal and it's all for nothing. Everything usually works out just fine or never as bad as I imagined it would be.
For me, the key is to learn how to address that anxiety without drinking. In the past, it would have been automatic: buy a case of beer or head to the bar - just to shut my head up. I can't do this anymore. I know what will happen.
AA has helped beyond measure and I am considering additional options (counselling, religion, medical help). The problem centers in the mind. Quitting drinking alone doesn't address this problem.
I know that some people can quit drinking and everything falls into place. I'm not one of those people.
A little reassurance: My life is 100 times better than it was when I was still drinking. Truly, I have a great life but there are days when I just can't see it.
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
You're going to go through crap, even if you're sober. And, I'd much rather go through crap sober than drunk any day.
76 days is solid sobriety. I hope you can take a deep breath....and stick around here. Lots of good advice.
76 days is solid sobriety. I hope you can take a deep breath....and stick around here. Lots of good advice.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
One thing that holds me together when I'm feeling weak is this: there's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make it worse. That's the truth. If you think it's bad now it would be much worse if you were drinking. Please believe me. Don't go back there. Nothing good can come of it. :ghug3
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Originally Posted by least 
One thing that holds me together when I'm feeling weak is this: there's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make it worse. That's the truth. If you think it's bad now it would be much worse if you were drinking. Please believe me. Don't go back there. Nothing good can come of it. :ghug3
Drinking WILL not make life easier for you! Stay with us and keep posting. PM me if you would like.
Suz
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
You got through 76 days... that's awesome. Now get through one more. Do that again tomorrow. If you've done it 76 times, well....
AA and SR help alot. Reading the Big Book, getting closer to my higher power, gratitude (that's a big one, and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for, just think about what else alcohol can take away from you...)
Hang in there, keep posting.
Mark
AA and SR help alot. Reading the Big Book, getting closer to my higher power, gratitude (that's a big one, and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for, just think about what else alcohol can take away from you...)
Hang in there, keep posting.
Mark
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
The "crap" that you're going through is going to happen whether you drink or not. While you were drinking it just didn't seem to bother you, and that's one reason we drink. To escape from crap.
You say that after 76 days that nothing seems to get better. Nonsense! You have some sobriety now. You're not relying on alcohol to solve your problems, not that they ever did. But now you have the opportunity to deal with the crap rather than numb yourself from it.
You also need to understand that AA (I assume that you're going to meetings) Is a simple program but a damn difficult one. The transition from alcoholic behavior to sobriety isn't easy. But it does get better the longer you stay with it. Your disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's telling you to give up, that it's not worth the effort. It wants you to start drinking again. We've all been through this and most have been successful. Just slow down and take it one day at a time. Don't worry about the crap tomorrow. Deal with today. You're doing great with 76 days! Don 't let the disease ruin it for you.
You say that after 76 days that nothing seems to get better. Nonsense! You have some sobriety now. You're not relying on alcohol to solve your problems, not that they ever did. But now you have the opportunity to deal with the crap rather than numb yourself from it.
You also need to understand that AA (I assume that you're going to meetings) Is a simple program but a damn difficult one. The transition from alcoholic behavior to sobriety isn't easy. But it does get better the longer you stay with it. Your disease of alcoholism is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It's telling you to give up, that it's not worth the effort. It wants you to start drinking again. We've all been through this and most have been successful. Just slow down and take it one day at a time. Don't worry about the crap tomorrow. Deal with today. You're doing great with 76 days! Don 't let the disease ruin it for you.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I can't promise that life becomes suddenly magical sober - in many ways it's actually harder as you've found out.
But, when I was drunk all day every day, I used to dream of the man I'd like to be.
I'm not there yet - but I'm a helluva lot closer - and I'm closer because I stayed the distance. I let my body, and my mind heal.
I worked on myself as much as I worked on not drinking. I'm trying to make a different Dee - one who doesn't need booze.
It's a long journey - sometimes you have to run on faith. But it is worth it
D
But, when I was drunk all day every day, I used to dream of the man I'd like to be.
I'm not there yet - but I'm a helluva lot closer - and I'm closer because I stayed the distance. I let my body, and my mind heal.
I worked on myself as much as I worked on not drinking. I'm trying to make a different Dee - one who doesn't need booze.
It's a long journey - sometimes you have to run on faith. But it is worth it
D
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I think after a certain point recovery takes a new turn, it stops being just about not drinking and becomes about "now what?", cos we still have a lot of the same problems as when we drank.
It is hard but at least we get the opportunity to decide "now what", the freedom to choose.
It is hard but at least we get the opportunity to decide "now what", the freedom to choose.
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Originally Posted by Cubile75
AA and SR help alot. Reading the Big Book, getting closer to my higher power, gratitude (that's a big one, and if you think you have nothing to be grateful for, just think about what else alcohol can take away from you...)
Perspective.
Yeah, life isn't perfect but at the same time we have been blessed with so much.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hey SMT,
I really understand where you are-I've been there many times myself and it's not fun. I know when we're just going day to day and seeing little reward for the effort it sometimes takes, it can seem endless-but I promise you it isn't.
As Anna said-we need to be patient and I know for me that's hardly my best quality
What I want to ask you though is-do you have something to look forward to?I know for me when being sober lost it's 'shine' and I'd start thinking 'So this is it?Hell-I'd rather drink!' a lot of it was just being bored with life 'as it is'. I had to not only start dealing with the things I'd avoided when drinking-but I also had to start creating some new, good things in my life that I enjoyed and could look forward to doing.
It doesn't have to be anything big, or expensive either.Just something for you that you can enjoy.What are your interests?What makes your heart sing?It could be anything-gardening, writing, watching movies with a friend, drawing, photography....heck-anything.I just know I had to make a start and reward myself for remaining sober and create something different.It really has helped me.
As others have said-just stopping drinking is only the beginning.This time is the real challenge where you start to make a new and better life for yourself and it IS there waiting for you, I promise.But you have to make that step too.
I know you can do it-you've done it for 76 days so far-and you can do it for one more day tomorrow too.Then another after that....
Please hang in there.I promise you there's nothing worth going back for-and I should know, I tried it so many times and it only brought me more misery.
I'm thinking of you and hoping for you tonight,
Julesxox
(P.S-Is this quote in your sig line from 10th Ave North?I love those guys! "Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" )
I really understand where you are-I've been there many times myself and it's not fun. I know when we're just going day to day and seeing little reward for the effort it sometimes takes, it can seem endless-but I promise you it isn't.
As Anna said-we need to be patient and I know for me that's hardly my best quality
What I want to ask you though is-do you have something to look forward to?I know for me when being sober lost it's 'shine' and I'd start thinking 'So this is it?Hell-I'd rather drink!' a lot of it was just being bored with life 'as it is'. I had to not only start dealing with the things I'd avoided when drinking-but I also had to start creating some new, good things in my life that I enjoyed and could look forward to doing.
It doesn't have to be anything big, or expensive either.Just something for you that you can enjoy.What are your interests?What makes your heart sing?It could be anything-gardening, writing, watching movies with a friend, drawing, photography....heck-anything.I just know I had to make a start and reward myself for remaining sober and create something different.It really has helped me.
As others have said-just stopping drinking is only the beginning.This time is the real challenge where you start to make a new and better life for yourself and it IS there waiting for you, I promise.But you have to make that step too.
I know you can do it-you've done it for 76 days so far-and you can do it for one more day tomorrow too.Then another after that....
Please hang in there.I promise you there's nothing worth going back for-and I should know, I tried it so many times and it only brought me more misery.
I'm thinking of you and hoping for you tonight,
Julesxox
(P.S-Is this quote in your sig line from 10th Ave North?I love those guys! "Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough?" )
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