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Not the thoughts themselves, but what you do with them

Old 04-23-2009, 06:21 AM
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Not the thoughts themselves, but what you do with them

As far back as I can remember I have always approached beverage vending machines as though there were a tiny elf or something inside the machine that takes my money and drops a soda down. I know it's fake, but I always have this first thought that, "just maybe... it's the Pepsi elf."

Another thought that has developed into a reflex over time comes up when I'm in malls and large grocery stores. I peer around for escape routes and potential weapons in case of the (unlikely but possible) event that everyone around me turns into a zombie, like in a Romero film.

And yesterday I got a paid. Sixty dollars of that pay is disposable income. I am going to save it, but could potentially spend it if I had to. And this uninvited thought popped up that I could spend five bucks of it, get satisfactorily drunk, and only spend 1/12 of my profits, which seems a small number.

*Sigh* It just doesn't relent. Thank goodness, it wasn't a convincing thought. I didn't buy alcohol (or anything wasteful.) This is just a post for all to be reminded that cravings come in degrees and in different ways, but are always uninvited guests. My heart goes out to everyone for whom the cravings are painful and distressful. Keep at it. Eventually they die down and just become minor annoyances and silly thoughts. No more "real" and no more intimidating than that elf who lives in the vending machine.
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Old 04-23-2009, 08:00 AM
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I've been to that point before, where the cravings were hardly there and only minor annoyances. Amazing to remember that time now with less than a month and craving like crazy, but I know freedom exists and this time Im going to find it again. Thanks for the thread.
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Old 04-23-2009, 01:04 PM
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Thank you Isaiah. Very insightful and helpful. And now, since I clean a place with lots of vending machines, I'll be on the look out for those elves.. hehehehe. I love that.
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Old 04-23-2009, 09:40 PM
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It it soon 13 years here and I refuse to ever be that nuts again.Having my self respect is best.
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Old 04-23-2009, 10:23 PM
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My recovery required many positive changes
not a one do I regret making....

We can and do recover....
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Old 04-23-2009, 10:30 PM
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I have fleeting thoughts sometimes. I acknowledge them but don't entertain them. I've played it all through so many times that I have it memorized like a bad 80's song.

I usually go on to think about buying some clothes I really wanted (I'm very fond of the Hanes.com site), buying some yummy Avon stuff (my neighbor and the woman who saved my life..literally has been working very hard to go up in the Avon world..so when I can, I splurge). I would much rather have the rewards of comfy clothes and yummy smelling stuff. Booze never brought me either of those.
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