Addiction to sadness? low feeling? melancholy?
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
Addiction to sadness? low feeling? melancholy?
Just wondering how many other people here share or have shared such thoughts and feelings. I personally feel that my mind is a very dark, scary, and often times terrifying place, however I almost feel at home in this darkness. Surely I'm a creature of habit as I was a very angsty yet still optimistic teen, so perhaps that mindset has continued to grow on me, almost making me like it as I feel it's who I am. As I also have an artists personality this may bode well for any endeavors in that regard...however it's just torture nowadays, but it's ME, you know. I remember watching an episode of Intervention with a 22 year old alcoholic that said something along the lines of "I like the darkness and my demons", pity I didn't get to finish the episode tho!
Anyone else feel that they might be addicted to sadness? Or, is it mainly a delusion that people have before starting treatment?
Anyone else feel that they might be addicted to sadness? Or, is it mainly a delusion that people have before starting treatment?
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Oh how I relate, it was one of the thousands of reasons I had to drink, in the end the booze did not work any more, the demons were still there, the misery deepend, the frustration went through the roof, there I sat ALONE in my garage drinking, hell I knew that the only relief I would get from drinking was oblivion! Darkness, silence, unfeeling, there but not there, sad but not giving a crap, I was no where which in the ned was every where.
Was I addicted to sadness, despair, & hopelessness? Nope I was addicted to alcohol which brought me sadness, despair, & hopelessness
Now here is the kicker, just getting sober did not help, that was when my problems really began, you see all of that crap I was drinking away was now all up in my face and spinning in my head, I was feeling everything and I did not know how to deal with it! This point is where meetings were crucial for me, learning that I was not alone, learning that it would get better, people who had been right where I was at telling me how they had worked through where I was at and found life on the other side. Those folks in those meetings taught me how to live life on lifes terms sober and for the most part happy. Everything was not perfect, but I learned how to deal with life without drinking.
Yes I know the feeliings you describe, and I found a solution for it that has not only worked for me but hundreds of thousands of others. The solution is simple, but not easy, 12 simple steps that were hard to take, but made life livable.
Was I addicted to sadness, despair, & hopelessness? Nope I was addicted to alcohol which brought me sadness, despair, & hopelessness
Now here is the kicker, just getting sober did not help, that was when my problems really began, you see all of that crap I was drinking away was now all up in my face and spinning in my head, I was feeling everything and I did not know how to deal with it! This point is where meetings were crucial for me, learning that I was not alone, learning that it would get better, people who had been right where I was at telling me how they had worked through where I was at and found life on the other side. Those folks in those meetings taught me how to live life on lifes terms sober and for the most part happy. Everything was not perfect, but I learned how to deal with life without drinking.
Yes I know the feeliings you describe, and I found a solution for it that has not only worked for me but hundreds of thousands of others. The solution is simple, but not easy, 12 simple steps that were hard to take, but made life livable.
KCB.com/justfortoday :-)
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Glasgow, Scotland
Posts: 168
I don't so much think that you are addicted to it I just think that it's all you've ever known. It's scary to step into the sunlight of recovery because you can see a helluva lot more about yourself than you ever have. Take the alcohol out of alcoholism and you're left with the ism - the i see me. And believe me when I tell you it was so so scary for me. But it was worth it.
Come into the light - I can't promise you it will be easy but it WILL be worth it if you get honest with yourself. Not drinking is abnormal for you - everything that you do from now on will feel strange. Anything you think of doing - you should probably do the opposite. It's an amazing life though. I'm ten months sober and already so much has happened that is beyond my wildest dreams and I wouldn't say that just for effect.
Hope that I've not bored or offended you at all - it's just my opinion so it's not necessarily correct. I can be wrong a lot too!
Take care honey xxx
Come into the light - I can't promise you it will be easy but it WILL be worth it if you get honest with yourself. Not drinking is abnormal for you - everything that you do from now on will feel strange. Anything you think of doing - you should probably do the opposite. It's an amazing life though. I'm ten months sober and already so much has happened that is beyond my wildest dreams and I wouldn't say that just for effect.
Hope that I've not bored or offended you at all - it's just my opinion so it's not necessarily correct. I can be wrong a lot too!
Take care honey xxx
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
"Oh how I relate, it was one of the thousands of reasons I had to drink, in the end the booze did not work any more, the demons were still there, the misery deepend, the frustration went through the roof, there I sat ALONE in my garage drinking, hell I knew that the only relief I would get from drinking was oblivion! Darkness, silence, unfeeling, there but not there, sad but not giving a crap, I was no where which in the ned was every where." Exactly how I feel, seriously. I'm floating, drifting, never fully conscious of conversations, messages, feelings, and it's like staring at oblivion....perfect words. Hell, to think my delusions make me think that oblivion was the best there is...that silence...ugh, amazingly powerful, which still makes me think it's worth it...but then I try to remember my life before depression and such - very hard to relate.
@Geekorunique, hell no, your post is great. It makes sense and I know this from my other bouts of sobriety (be it from alcohol, pot, antidepressants/mood stabilizers), after those are gone...ya, the real stuff happens. That's what makes me continue to crawl back in my life hole. And it's severely disheartening that all my other attempts HAVE brought help and relief, but nothing that lasts. Guess that's my next step, incorporate what I know ALL THE TIME. Gah...but there's no other life right? Other than six feet under. I remember feelings of hope and optimism in a past day program at my hospital for mental illness, lasted a month, gained a bunch, back to the same old ******** afterwards.
"Take the alcohol out of alcoholism and you're left with the ism - the i see me." I love that!
@Geekorunique, hell no, your post is great. It makes sense and I know this from my other bouts of sobriety (be it from alcohol, pot, antidepressants/mood stabilizers), after those are gone...ya, the real stuff happens. That's what makes me continue to crawl back in my life hole. And it's severely disheartening that all my other attempts HAVE brought help and relief, but nothing that lasts. Guess that's my next step, incorporate what I know ALL THE TIME. Gah...but there's no other life right? Other than six feet under. I remember feelings of hope and optimism in a past day program at my hospital for mental illness, lasted a month, gained a bunch, back to the same old ******** afterwards.
"Take the alcohol out of alcoholism and you're left with the ism - the i see me." I love that!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Brentos, reach out your hand, let someone take it, you all can take a walk, a walk into freedom together!
In AA I reached out my hand for help and others took me by the hand and I followed the same path they were on, they showed me what they had done and I did what they did and I am a free man today, free of the bond of active alcoholism and of myself, today when some one reachs out their hand for help I take thier hand and together we walk to freedom. I have found a solution for my alcoholism, perhaps the solution I have found can work for you as well, why not go to a meeting and reach out your hand and simply ask for help, your hand will be taken and if you are willing to do what it takes you too can find freedom.
In AA I reached out my hand for help and others took me by the hand and I followed the same path they were on, they showed me what they had done and I did what they did and I am a free man today, free of the bond of active alcoholism and of myself, today when some one reachs out their hand for help I take thier hand and together we walk to freedom. I have found a solution for my alcoholism, perhaps the solution I have found can work for you as well, why not go to a meeting and reach out your hand and simply ask for help, your hand will be taken and if you are willing to do what it takes you too can find freedom.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I think I went into the darkness when I was about 11 and spent the next 38years there, the last 10 were the worst as that's when the bottle was my constant companion. I had no idea what I was missing, the past 19 months of sobriety have been the most eye opening awesome time of my life I now know there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Judy
Judy
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