katie89

I am a non practising alcoholic who is trying to understand why my husband of 25 years switched addictions and basically is still using.How I can protect my children and I from believing in him again. I still love him but can not continue to live with so much animosity. Has been four months since I threw him out and in the last week we have started to speak to each other like people.On my part though I am not sure if I trust him,he says he is going to quit,but have heard that story too many times.We have met today and are trying to be friends..not sure if that will work but I hope he does quit if for no other reason then himself.I still have four daughters living at home with me the youngest two being 16 and 14.They say they hate him and never want to see him again.I think they have a point but am worried about them too. Drugs/alchol are such a destroyer of happiness and life that I can not believe how long it too me to realize this truth. I quit for 5 years once then picked it up again for almost a year,then quit for 1.5 years then picked it up for two months and now it has been almost 13 years of sanity.This is where my husband's addiction to marijuana floors me,after all those years of suffering to just switch addictions. I pray he does quit but the trust isn't really there. That's where I am today.He wants me to go to this group for four days about co-dependency but am not sure.I am glad I found this site and I hope within time I can help someone too

Freedom1990

Trust is earned, not given.

You and the children have no reason to trust him.

Actions speak louder than words.

I finally had to go no-contact with my EXAH because even though I had moved over two hours away from him, all it took was one phone call from him and I was in an emotional tail spin for days.

katie89

Thats me..I met with him yesterday against my own judgement,and he said he is going to look at something else other then marijuana for his neck.Maybe if he wasn't an addict he could use the weed for medicinal purposes but he just gets high way too often.This is hell as I still love him.He feels I should go to this group tomorrow for co dependant people.

Freedom1990

Do you want to go to the group tomorrow?

As I said, actions speak louder than words. I understand he has pain issues. I have degenerative disc disease. I manage my pain without marijuana or narcotics. I see a pain management specialist. I've been through physical therapy several times.

I have a 31 year old daughter who's an addict/alcoholic. I have boundaries. Our contact is extremely limited. I don't trust her at all. If she ever gets into recovery, it will be a long time before I trust her again.

It sounds to me like you are where you need to do some work on self and start to heal. My suggestion would be to limit contact with him, if not go no-contact.