dabears34

I quit booze two weeks ago cold turkey, after 10 years of being a functioning alcoholic. Tonight is my first real social test (well, one that might include a bar, anyway), of hanging out with friends who will be boozing and going to a bar or two later. I'm getting nervous, and kinda depressed too. I'm not worried about being able to resist temptation, I just want to have fun. I guess I gotta relearn how to do that without booze. I know I could just stay home, but f##k that, I want to socialize and have fun and maybe find some cute girls to talk to... AAAHHHH!!!

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community....
Congratulations on your new sobriety.

I found hanging out with drinkers and bar going
was not improving my life. Unless I was drinking
the scene was a big zero.

Have you considered finding an AA meeting?
It's been an awesome adventure for me....

Please keep posting with us...good to see you

dabears34

Thanks for the warm welcome!! I love bars, and not just for the booze, I'd love to be able to enjoy them while sober.

nickishine

Slippery slope, friend! I understand. Socializing is a GOOD thing and I like the atmosphere of "friendliness"..... However, for an alcoholic like me..... the bar is NOT the place I should be in. I wish you the best, sincerely!:ghug

JDSOBER

Hi there Dabears34-

I want to congratulate you on 15 days awesome.
The depression and nervousness you might want to consider having a back up plan like is there a meeting you can get to if you feel the urge is there someone to call that understands you and alcohol together are not a good choice? Sponsor maybe?

I can only tell you from my own experience that I was having a great day
once and I had been to meetings and they told me if I kept going to the barbershop I was soon gonna get a haircut ...well that just peed me off!
what do they know anyway ? right?


Right they were I had a full day to myself went to mcdonalds for lunch one day this was years ago and my next stop was ata bar 7up and the juke box going that was in the afternoon by the next morning I had 17 dollars I had 1600.00 on me I was not very smart and I went back to my sponsor thee next day I said I drank he said yeah figured that ...I was supposed to celebrate 9 months that night before and got kicked out of the half way house 2 weeks later.....Just something you might want to consider ...but who am I just someone finally showing some activity on this board anyway hope my my sharing my experience helps you and you will be smarter than I was.

dabears34

I like the barbershop metaphor, that's a good line! Part of me is looking forward to being in a bar for awhile, just to see how I feel, desensitive myself to it. I feel my will is strong right now, and if it has weaknesses, I'd like to find them out, I think it will help with my overall gameplan of staying sober...

Last weekend, my friend told me about a bartender at a bar near their house. He'd been on the wagon for, I don't know, a couple months, and had fallen off hard. He had been holed up in a room at the seedy motel across the street from the bar he works at and was several days deep into a heavy, heavy bender. They had to lock the front door and screen each customer to make sure it wasn't him trying to get in, they didnt know what he was capable of at that point, I think they were scared of him. And as my friend was telling me this story, it made my heart soar and I had a similar elated feeling one might get while listening to a story of someone overcoming great adversity, and realizing their dreams. I realized I was jealous of the guy, and I wanted to hole up in a seedy hotel and not wash, or eat, and just drink. drink and drink and drink and drink. But I also realized how sick and ****** up that sort of thinking pattern is, and that's why I've quit and am getting help.

adore79

Have fun but have a way out if you find the temptation too strong. Forinstance, you could take your own car.

tk1fry

I like bars also. But I don't have any business being in there.

Ask yourself: is the benefit is worth the risk?



.

dabears34

My friend asked "Will you be ok tonight, being around people boozing and going to a bar?" and I said "Yes, I believe so. But if it's too much, don't be surprised if I give a quick goodbye and dart out the door and go home."

Going through this made me realize just how strong my network of friends and family really is... I have many people who have offered time and support. It is comforting to know there are people I can call and/or text if I need to express what I'm feeling or just for some support.

Mark75

I would have a hard time in that situation, might feel a little sorry for myself because I couldn't have fun like the other "grown ups"... But that's just me. I agree with everyone else, have a back up plan... alcohol is sneaky...

Good luck and have a GREAT evening!

Mark

louis

Hi...

I get annoyed with myself... cos i really want to be able to go in pubs... the majority of people i know are in pubs...

I have afew times (tested) myself... thinking it should be easy to go into a pub... or trying to de-sensitise myself to going in... but i cant... its too early...
I am 7wks sober and i still cant do it... it p**ses me off... but i have to accept it... if i dont and let it get to me i know i will let it wind me up and then i will find an excuse to drink...

I felt strong myself... until i was there... i got carried away when i was feeling good... and let my guard down...

I wish you luck... but as others have said... have a backup... or an out!!!

Take care

Anna

Good for you with two weeks sober!

I also would not go to a bar, or anywhere where people were drinking, early in sobriety. I tried it, stressed myself, and ended up drinking the next day. It took quite a long time before I was comfortable around alcohol.

least

For me a bar would not tempt me cause I did all my drinking at home alone. It's more of a challenge to find ways of staying sober at home alone. And since I live alone that can be very challenging indeed.

Having a back up plan is a good idea. Have fun but don't hesitate to leave if it gets to be too much stress or temptation.

dabears34

Ok... made it through last night without drinking at all. We never made it to a bar, but spent the entire night with a handful of people boozing it up heavily, and I was the only one not drinking. It was hard and easy and strange and surreal. I feel like it's going to be a process, re-learning to enjoy things as my sober self. A few times I wanted to just get the hell out of there, but instead I went in the other room and took a few minutes to myself and I was a-ok. I had fun, but there were times where I went quiet and got real panicky. This is my second time socializing around people who were drinking, and both were very strange experiences. My hope is the more I get under my belt, the more that will become my normal, rather than drinking and being drunk in those situations being my normal.