TOPIC: It's Enough That Im In Recovery. Im Not Gonna Fall In Love. Why Not?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
TOPIC: It's Enough That Im In Recovery. Im Not Gonna Fall In Love. Why Not?
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
Yep, i used to say that now im in
recovery and not doing well in my
marriage, im never gonna fall in love
again. Once in a life time was enough.
Well....i worked on my recovery
first then separated and divorced
from a 25 yr marriage and left
it all in the hands of my HP to
guide me to where and what He'd
want for me.
This past Feb. 14th i comitted to
a new relationship/marriage and
thought it would never happen
again.
It's amazing what will happen when
one follows a recovery program,
become willing, open and honest
and everything else falls into place.
Never say never.
Yep, i used to say that now im in
recovery and not doing well in my
marriage, im never gonna fall in love
again. Once in a life time was enough.
Well....i worked on my recovery
first then separated and divorced
from a 25 yr marriage and left
it all in the hands of my HP to
guide me to where and what He'd
want for me.
This past Feb. 14th i comitted to
a new relationship/marriage and
thought it would never happen
again.
It's amazing what will happen when
one follows a recovery program,
become willing, open and honest
and everything else falls into place.
Never say never.
Mr.MeToo?
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: East Coast to the Deep South
Posts: 828
thats great sharon, im glad you found another person to share your life with 
I have never been in love so I am still looking forward to that first time it happens and how it feels (wondering if its all hype or what! lol) I thought I was in love when i was 21 living with my girlfriend at the time but, turns out I was just in love with heroin........yiiikkess
Just had a question for ya sharon(and anybody else who has experience with this)....is your new relationship with a recovering addict//alkie or a normie?? which do you think is better for us addicts//alkies to get involved with??
I have never been in love so I am still looking forward to that first time it happens and how it feels (wondering if its all hype or what! lol) I thought I was in love when i was 21 living with my girlfriend at the time but, turns out I was just in love with heroin........yiiikkess
Just had a question for ya sharon(and anybody else who has experience with this)....is your new relationship with a recovering addict//alkie or a normie?? which do you think is better for us addicts//alkies to get involved with??
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,759
If I fall in love, I fall in love, tho I'm not out actively looking for it. I'm quite content being single and sharing my life with my dogs and cats. And they don't drink or use or treat me badly. Their only mind altering experiences are going for a long "sniff" on a nice day!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...
I consider I've been in love 7 times ..
.in and out of my active addiction.
I have warm pleasant memories of each man....
It's my observation and experience that the more things
you have in common.....the smoother the relationship.
I'm the most happy divorced woman I know.
However...some people do perfer marriage.
I tried marriage twice and ...
I do not.....
Glad you are enjoying this marriage Sharon.
I consider I've been in love 7 times ..
.in and out of my active addiction.
I have warm pleasant memories of each man....
It's my observation and experience that the more things
you have in common.....the smoother the relationship.
I'm the most happy divorced woman I know.
However...some people do perfer marriage.
I tried marriage twice and ...
I do not.....
Glad you are enjoying this marriage Sharon.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by CarolD 
I'm the most happy divorced woman I know.
However...some people do perfer marriage.
I tried marriage twice and ...
I do not.....
However...some people do perfer marriage.
I tried marriage twice and ...
I do not.....
it's a movie, you're the star
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 355
i've been in love twice.
it was the most amazing/dramatic/intense/awful/magical/miserable/awesome experience of my life. I learned a lot about myself from being in love, and despite being single & loving it now, I look forward to one day being in an even healthier and happier relationship with someone who appreciates me as much (or even more hah) than I appreciate them.
I think it's imperative to be with someone you share many common things with - little coincidences and fun facts are cool, but it's even more amazing (and easy to cherish) when you find that person who agrees with you on the important stuff (morals, life goals, passions) but also someone who thinks differently than you, so you can learn from them and grow together from the relationship.
Love is, by far, the best natural high in the world. Being single is amazing for independence and self-realizations, but being in a relationship is one of the best times to show what you've got (as far as good qualities and commitment). I've found that, despite some past relationships being unhealthy, the healthy ones can make you feel so very alive and empowered.
Having a bf/gf is (IMO) knowing that someone has your back, and that you definitely have at least one fan out there who supports you and loves you for who you are, even when you are having the worst day or going through tough stuff. It's also someone to kick back and share a laugh with because your love knows you best and STILL loves you.
It's so weird, even though I'm happily single, sometimes the one thing that gets me through a rough day is knowing that one day I'll have a man by my side who is my number one, and who'll make me his number one. =]
it was the most amazing/dramatic/intense/awful/magical/miserable/awesome experience of my life. I learned a lot about myself from being in love, and despite being single & loving it now, I look forward to one day being in an even healthier and happier relationship with someone who appreciates me as much (or even more hah) than I appreciate them.
I think it's imperative to be with someone you share many common things with - little coincidences and fun facts are cool, but it's even more amazing (and easy to cherish) when you find that person who agrees with you on the important stuff (morals, life goals, passions) but also someone who thinks differently than you, so you can learn from them and grow together from the relationship.
Love is, by far, the best natural high in the world. Being single is amazing for independence and self-realizations, but being in a relationship is one of the best times to show what you've got (as far as good qualities and commitment). I've found that, despite some past relationships being unhealthy, the healthy ones can make you feel so very alive and empowered.
Having a bf/gf is (IMO) knowing that someone has your back, and that you definitely have at least one fan out there who supports you and loves you for who you are, even when you are having the worst day or going through tough stuff. It's also someone to kick back and share a laugh with because your love knows you best and STILL loves you.
It's so weird, even though I'm happily single, sometimes the one thing that gets me through a rough day is knowing that one day I'll have a man by my side who is my number one, and who'll make me his number one. =]
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,234
Good shares. Much appreciated.
My first marriage began with 7 yrs
of drinking before my family stepped
in with an intervention and sent me
to a 28 day rehab. That was back in
1990.
My spouse in that marriage was a "normie".
Our relationship thru out the marriage
was off balance due to my alcoholism.
We raised 2 awesome kids who turned
out strong and independant. That is a
blessing and they r gifts.
My family thought i should have been
cured from my disease just because
i didnt drink anymore. Maybe if they
had a program to understand me
then whose to say we'd still be
together.
My spouse was a hard worker, intellegent,
kind, trusting, and some much more.
Because of all that i went thru as a
child with verbal and physical abuse
i needed more i believe than what
my spouse could give me.
Anyway....that is behind me now.....
My new spouse is in recovery. We
met at a meeting when neither of
us was looking for someone.
We found out we had lots in common.
A very kind, caring, hard working,
understanding, polite....gentleman.
Old fashion like I.
He opens the door at all times for me.
After yrs of marriage we as women
take control of ourselves and we
get in and out of the car by ourselves.
It's taking me time to wait for my
spouse to open the door. That's
called being patiant.
We say i love u umteen times a day...
I use to say that often in my first
marriage but soon deminished sad
to say.
My spouse and i go to sleep together
at the same time unlike in my first
marriage where i had to go first to
get to sleep so i wouldnt hear the
snoring.
My first marriage was unhealthy in
many ways....yet there were many
blessing in it too.
Today im open and honest and trust
worthy. I have alot to be grateful
for today and all that has happened
to me during my life thus so far is a
lesson.
When i turn my will and life over to
the care of a Power greater than I
then i dont have a worry in the world.
As long as He's in charge then He
will guide me and protect me and
give me my wants and needs as He
sees fit.
That way i wont be disappointed. Well
i may but i have to believe whatever
has happened had to be for a reason.
So to answer the question...which one
is better....well ive seen both kinds
of marriages and ive experienced
both.....i gave what i could with
what i had in the first marriage and
today i will certainly do the same.
I will say, it is nice to be able to
talk recovery with my new spouse.
We both know how important our
programs are to each of us and
we use it as well as our faith as
a solid foundation for our marriage.
Which is also built on honesty and
trust.
And thats my story and im sticking
to it....
My first marriage began with 7 yrs
of drinking before my family stepped
in with an intervention and sent me
to a 28 day rehab. That was back in
1990.
My spouse in that marriage was a "normie".
Our relationship thru out the marriage
was off balance due to my alcoholism.
We raised 2 awesome kids who turned
out strong and independant. That is a
blessing and they r gifts.
My family thought i should have been
cured from my disease just because
i didnt drink anymore. Maybe if they
had a program to understand me
then whose to say we'd still be
together.
My spouse was a hard worker, intellegent,
kind, trusting, and some much more.
Because of all that i went thru as a
child with verbal and physical abuse
i needed more i believe than what
my spouse could give me.
Anyway....that is behind me now.....
My new spouse is in recovery. We
met at a meeting when neither of
us was looking for someone.
We found out we had lots in common.
A very kind, caring, hard working,
understanding, polite....gentleman.
Old fashion like I.
He opens the door at all times for me.
After yrs of marriage we as women
take control of ourselves and we
get in and out of the car by ourselves.
It's taking me time to wait for my
spouse to open the door. That's
called being patiant.
We say i love u umteen times a day...
I use to say that often in my first
marriage but soon deminished sad
to say.
My spouse and i go to sleep together
at the same time unlike in my first
marriage where i had to go first to
get to sleep so i wouldnt hear the
snoring.
My first marriage was unhealthy in
many ways....yet there were many
blessing in it too.
Today im open and honest and trust
worthy. I have alot to be grateful
for today and all that has happened
to me during my life thus so far is a
lesson.
When i turn my will and life over to
the care of a Power greater than I
then i dont have a worry in the world.
As long as He's in charge then He
will guide me and protect me and
give me my wants and needs as He
sees fit.
That way i wont be disappointed. Well
i may but i have to believe whatever
has happened had to be for a reason.
So to answer the question...which one
is better....well ive seen both kinds
of marriages and ive experienced
both.....i gave what i could with
what i had in the first marriage and
today i will certainly do the same.
I will say, it is nice to be able to
talk recovery with my new spouse.
We both know how important our
programs are to each of us and
we use it as well as our faith as
a solid foundation for our marriage.
Which is also built on honesty and
trust.
And thats my story and im sticking
to it....
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