Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Taking Care of Ourselves

We often refer to recovery from codependency and adult child issues as self-care. Self-care is not, as some may think, a spin off of the Me generation. It isn't self-indulgence. It isn't selfishness - in the negative interpretation of that word.

We're learning to take care of ourselves, instead of obsessively focusing on another person. We're learning self-responsibility, instead of feeling excessively responsible for others. Self-care also means tending to our true responsibilities to others; we do this better when we're not feeling overly responsible.

Self-care sometimes means, me first, but usually, me too. It means we are responsible for ourselves and can choose to no longer be victims.

Self-care means learning to love the person we're responsible for taking care of - ourselves. We do not do this to hibernate in a cocoon of isolation and self indulgence; we do it so we can better love others, and learn to let them love us.

Self-care isn't selfish; it's self-esteem.

Today, God, help me love myself. Help me let go of feeling excessively responsible for those around me. Show me what I need to do to take care of myself and be appropriately responsible to others.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

I realize now, in my recovery, that I was never a "victim" of others, but instead a victim of my own unhealthy thinking, of my own unhealthy behaviour. That discovery did not make me feel bad about myself, or beat myself up for mistakes I made in the past. It made me feel enlightened, that the key to my happiness has been held by me all along.

When I live in the solution, my recovery, and live in new healthier ways, it takes me from being a victim who lived in the problem to being a survivor who has learned from the past and moved forward.

Funny how I needed to be reminded of this today. The right message on the right day.

Hugs

Neagrm

This has been one of the most important lessons for me. It was only when I let go of the outer focus that I was able to see my options clearly and make educated choices. Responsible self-care brought clarity and deeper insights for healthy inner changes. When I changed my thinking, the world around me also changed and became a better place. This is life-long, on-going process.

itisatruth

Must admit, sometimes I do feel selfish when I'm taking care of me....guess it was a foreign thing for me at first - always having been such a people-pleaser. I have good days and not so good days still, but overall, in finding myself and being good to myself, I am finding more contentment.

.....still a work in progress!