I'm feeling lonely.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
I'm feeling lonely.
Where is everyone? Still off on vacations or not posting because you don't feel well? Come back and post some, getting things off your chest might help you feel better, and from my selfish point of view, it will give me something to react to. I might just post you back. I've been posting in Health and Fitness, and then in Eating Disorders recently, I figured they were "safe". But today I've gone so far as to post in Newcomers, and Alcoholism. Where will it end? 
Oh, and I'm sur Phaleron feels the same way, I see he's been posting in Women Only. You see! This is getting out of hand, please come back:ghug3
Oh, and I'm sur Phaleron feels the same way, I see he's been posting in Women Only. You see! This is getting out of hand, please come back:ghug3
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Hi Poppy.
I am still hanging around but don't have much yo say here. I spend most of my SR time at newcomers trying to encourage new members where I think I can be helpful and at whiners where I like to post my daily whine.
The only thing I need to get off my chest is a little flab and for that I go to the OS thread.
I am still hanging around but don't have much yo say here. I spend most of my SR time at newcomers trying to encourage new members where I think I can be helpful and at whiners where I like to post my daily whine.
The only thing I need to get off my chest is a little flab and for that I go to the OS thread.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Hi there CP!
This is so weird, but I was going to post a thread in here last night asking "what do you do when you feel lonely?"
And here you are posting just what I wanted to post only I felt like I should not, as I tend to post in here a lot. I wish more people would post more threads so I don't feel like I am a forum-hogger.
Anyway, I hope you are feeling better today. BTW, what do you do when you feel lonely? When I go to my group I feel good. But then when I get home this loneliness sets in. Last night I just distracted myself by writing an email and watching TV and sleeping. I have a busy day today in which I have to write coping strategies for each trigger for each letter of the alphabet and then a summary of for this milestone #1, plus I need to look at bills (and even pay them) and clean and then go to group tonight.
Oh, and one more thing your post made me think of - I am now outnumbered by AA people in my group. This really got on my nerves last night as there was this one woman who joined who said AA is new for her and she wants to know all of the slogans. It was a bit much for me and, since this group is based on CBT, I did feel uncomfortable. I hope more people who don't do AA join this group, as I have 19 more groups to go and that is too much if everyone is an AAer. I have kept my mouth shut, for the most part, about my feelings re: AA, but when someone tells me to "call my sponsor" I just cringe. Good news is the therapist always makes it a point to look at me and say "or SMART recovery, there are many paths out there." Ok, talking too much but am only on second cup of coffee here.
Ok, thanks for posting this thread!
This is so weird, but I was going to post a thread in here last night asking "what do you do when you feel lonely?"
And here you are posting just what I wanted to post only I felt like I should not, as I tend to post in here a lot. I wish more people would post more threads so I don't feel like I am a forum-hogger.
Anyway, I hope you are feeling better today. BTW, what do you do when you feel lonely? When I go to my group I feel good. But then when I get home this loneliness sets in. Last night I just distracted myself by writing an email and watching TV and sleeping. I have a busy day today in which I have to write coping strategies for each trigger for each letter of the alphabet and then a summary of for this milestone #1, plus I need to look at bills (and even pay them) and clean and then go to group tonight.
Oh, and one more thing your post made me think of - I am now outnumbered by AA people in my group. This really got on my nerves last night as there was this one woman who joined who said AA is new for her and she wants to know all of the slogans. It was a bit much for me and, since this group is based on CBT, I did feel uncomfortable. I hope more people who don't do AA join this group, as I have 19 more groups to go and that is too much if everyone is an AAer. I have kept my mouth shut, for the most part, about my feelings re: AA, but when someone tells me to "call my sponsor" I just cringe. Good news is the therapist always makes it a point to look at me and say "or SMART recovery, there are many paths out there." Ok, talking too much but am only on second cup of coffee here.
Ok, thanks for posting this thread!
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
Hey Katie,
Yay! I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying your group!
Yes I would find it annoying if some of the group members were engaging in AA speak and suggesting sponsors. In fact when I was in AA, I used to be bothered by the hardliners. Maybe you could politely mention that you do not use AA. Thing is though, there probably will always be some AA'ers where ever you go and as long as they aren't trying to indoctrinate the group with the 12 steps, since it's CBT try to tune them out. I would think the facilitator would step in if it became too much. He/she has already demonstrated that he/she is hearing it by adding SMART etc.
Like everything in life we have to learn patience and tolerance because we can't always pick and choose who we engage with. I hear ya though.
This is great news that you are enjoying your group. Great therapist too!
Yay! I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying your group!
Yes I would find it annoying if some of the group members were engaging in AA speak and suggesting sponsors. In fact when I was in AA, I used to be bothered by the hardliners. Maybe you could politely mention that you do not use AA. Thing is though, there probably will always be some AA'ers where ever you go and as long as they aren't trying to indoctrinate the group with the 12 steps, since it's CBT try to tune them out. I would think the facilitator would step in if it became too much. He/she has already demonstrated that he/she is hearing it by adding SMART etc.
Like everything in life we have to learn patience and tolerance because we can't always pick and choose who we engage with. I hear ya though.
This is great news that you are enjoying your group. Great therapist too!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 1,141
Originally Posted by gerryP 
Hey Katie,
Yay! I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying your group!
Yes I would find it annoying if some of the group members were engaging in AA speak and suggesting sponsors. In fact when I was in AA, I used to be bothered by the hardliners. Maybe you could politely mention that you do not use AA. Thing is though, there probably will always be some AA'ers where ever you go and as long as they aren't trying to indoctrinate the group with the 12 steps, since it's CBT try to tune them out. I would think the facilitator would step in if it became too much. He/she has already demonstrated that he/she is hearing it by adding SMART etc.
Like everything in life we have to learn patience and tolerance because we can't always pick and choose who we engage with. I hear ya though.
This is great news that you are enjoying your group. Great therapist too!
Yay! I'm happy to hear that you are enjoying your group!
Yes I would find it annoying if some of the group members were engaging in AA speak and suggesting sponsors. In fact when I was in AA, I used to be bothered by the hardliners. Maybe you could politely mention that you do not use AA. Thing is though, there probably will always be some AA'ers where ever you go and as long as they aren't trying to indoctrinate the group with the 12 steps, since it's CBT try to tune them out. I would think the facilitator would step in if it became too much. He/she has already demonstrated that he/she is hearing it by adding SMART etc.
Like everything in life we have to learn patience and tolerance because we can't always pick and choose who we engage with. I hear ya though.
This is great news that you are enjoying your group. Great therapist too!
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,049
The practice of tolerance is difficult at times. Sometimes it comes easier to me than other times. I think it often comes down to where I am emotionally. Ya know how some days you can be bothered by things that you normally are not?
I tried to keep the thought in my mind...That's their experience.... That's their experience, That's their experience.
Take everything that applies to you for all the help you can get. Keep moving forward Katie. Yay...
I tried to keep the thought in my mind...That's their experience.... That's their experience, That's their experience.
Take everything that applies to you for all the help you can get. Keep moving forward Katie. Yay...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Hi people. I have no complaints so I don't post much and since I don't do AA people often don't seem to appreciate my "advice". When I'm lonely I usually rearrange some furniture or other decor.
I have been getting really annoyed at people (not online) lately whenever they talk about drinking! These people are not alcoholics but most of them know that I am and yet they casually talk about some great drink they had and I just want to smack them over the head! It doesn't make me miss drinking it's just I hate alcohol because I spent decades of my life at the bottom of a bottle. I have this 1 neighbor who always carries a drink with her while she walks her dog and it is quite obvious it's not soda or water. She very well may be alcoholic but that's her problem. Anyhow every time I see her I just want to I don't know hit her or something! I don't even know her except I see her walk her dog some times she lives a couple of blocks from me. Does anyone else ever have the urge to beat up drunks??? :
I have been getting really annoyed at people (not online) lately whenever they talk about drinking! These people are not alcoholics but most of them know that I am and yet they casually talk about some great drink they had and I just want to smack them over the head! It doesn't make me miss drinking it's just I hate alcohol because I spent decades of my life at the bottom of a bottle. I have this 1 neighbor who always carries a drink with her while she walks her dog and it is quite obvious it's not soda or water. She very well may be alcoholic but that's her problem. Anyhow every time I see her I just want to I don't know hit her or something! I don't even know her except I see her walk her dog some times she lives a couple of blocks from me. Does anyone else ever have the urge to beat up drunks??? :
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Htown, baby!
Posts: 384
I'm feeling lonely too. Very lonely. I don't know why??? What do I expect from people? Friends are nice.. they give advice.. support you, yada yada. But that seems to not be enough for me. I hate this about me, but I definately need reasurrance from people that they care about me, even though I'm not good at expressing myself in that regard. I don't need compliments to boost my ego, or to be told I'm needed.. not that.. Just *lots* and *lots* of affection as proof of feelings...probably more than most people are willing to give.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by Phaleron
I"m sorry I missed you, CP. 
I'm only returning the gender cross forum posting favor (you women have been posting in the beard thread!) 
I'm only returning the gender cross forum posting favor (you women have been posting in the beard thread!) 
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by jamdls
Hi people. I have no complaints so I don't post much and since I don't do AA people often don't seem to appreciate my "advice". When I'm lonely I usually rearrange some furniture or other decor.
I have been getting really annoyed at people (not online) lately whenever they talk about drinking! These people are not alcoholics but most of them know that I am and yet they casually talk about some great drink they had and I just want to smack them over the head! It doesn't make me miss drinking it's just I hate alcohol because I spent decades of my life at the bottom of a bottle. I have this 1 neighbor who always carries a drink with her while she walks her dog and it is quite obvious it's not soda or water. She very well may be alcoholic but that's her problem. Anyhow every time I see her I just want to I don't know hit her or something! I don't even know her except I see her walk her dog some times she lives a couple of blocks from me. Does anyone else ever have the urge to beat up drunks??? :
I have been getting really annoyed at people (not online) lately whenever they talk about drinking! These people are not alcoholics but most of them know that I am and yet they casually talk about some great drink they had and I just want to smack them over the head! It doesn't make me miss drinking it's just I hate alcohol because I spent decades of my life at the bottom of a bottle. I have this 1 neighbor who always carries a drink with her while she walks her dog and it is quite obvious it's not soda or water. She very well may be alcoholic but that's her problem. Anyhow every time I see her I just want to I don't know hit her or something! I don't even know her except I see her walk her dog some times she lives a couple of blocks from me. Does anyone else ever have the urge to beat up drunks??? :
As for the urge to beat up drunks, no I can't recall ever feeling that way, but I do get a smirk on my face now when I watch someone who has had a little too much do silly things. I'm so glad it isn't me !
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Originally Posted by Eroica
I'm feeling lonely too. Very lonely. I don't know why??? What do I expect from people? Friends are nice.. they give advice.. support you, yada yada. But that seems to not be enough for me. I hate this about me, but I definately need reasurrance from people that they care about me, even though I'm not good at expressing myself in that regard. I don't need compliments to boost my ego, or to be told I'm needed.. not that.. Just *lots* and *lots* of affection as proof of feelings...probably more than most people are willing to give.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I'm doing better today, didn't beat up anyone last night. I know it was my body just reacting to the the steroids the doctor put me on this week for joint inflammation.
I'm with you Californiapoppy, I'm not that found of affection either except from my 3 year old grandson and I imagine if he was too affectionate it would bother me. I get most of the affection I need from my dog, and she's a Pekingnese and they are not a very affectionate breed but she lets me cuddle with her with 20-30 minutes a day usually and that is sufficient.
I'm with you Californiapoppy, I'm not that found of affection either except from my 3 year old grandson and I imagine if he was too affectionate it would bother me. I get most of the affection I need from my dog, and she's a Pekingnese and they are not a very affectionate breed but she lets me cuddle with her with 20-30 minutes a day usually and that is sufficient.
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