failure
A new dawn and new chapter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
failure
Just waking up and the realization of what I've done is all over me. All I can feel is shame. I really thought I had it this time but I guess I'm to weak to handle sobriety. Maybe I should fix it that I don't feel anymore.....
Soberus Maxus
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by Bard 
Just waking up and the realization of what I've done is all over me. All I can feel is shame. I really thought I had it this time but I guess I'm to weak to handle sobriety. Maybe I should fix it that I don't feel anymore.....
81 days.
Wow. Impressive. 81 days of waking up feeling good. No, you're not weak.
If you can do 81 days you can do a lifetime. Weak moment maybe, weak....not!
You're right.
Fix it.
Something strange is going on. It really seems the smoke is rising lately. I'm not feeling quite as anxious as I normally am. My mood is a bit more upbeat then normal, and just have a better overall attitude towards life lately.
I won't get to cocky and say I'm in the clear. But it is nice to have the whirlwind of bad emotions settle down some. I've up my intake of vitamins. Eating plenty of fruits and vegetables with every meal, at least as many as I can keep on hand, I go through...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Albuquerque, New Mexico
Posts: 565
Oh my god...if you're not too weak to get online and tell us about it, you're not too weak to try again.
Relapse happens, don't beat yourself up, just keep going...like that Little Engine that Could guy...
Sometimes I read that story.
Relapse happens, don't beat yourself up, just keep going...like that Little Engine that Could guy...
Sometimes I read that story.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 29
A lapse is NOT a relapse. Just remember that. You have not failed. YOu have not taken steps backwards. You have taken a step to the side. You are more than capable of getting up and continuing in the same direction you have been for 81 days.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Bard......I bounced around like a rubber ball in the begining.
I know that feeling of shame and feeling like its impossible.
Once i soaked up the concept of a program of recovery things changed.
Id been in and out of aa for a while till i realized that there was more on offer than the fellowship.......i needed a program to change this alcoholic head.
I moved away from being a in and out member to a been around for a bit member.
I dont know why you relasped.......but you CAN learn from this and move on.
chin up....maybe its time for action.............trucker
I know that feeling of shame and feeling like its impossible.
Once i soaked up the concept of a program of recovery things changed.
Id been in and out of aa for a while till i realized that there was more on offer than the fellowship.......i needed a program to change this alcoholic head.
I moved away from being a in and out member to a been around for a bit member.
I dont know why you relasped.......but you CAN learn from this and move on.
chin up....maybe its time for action.............trucker
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,429
I have 15 years of trying behind me - so if I can get it, anyone can.
I dunno why you relapsed either - but my advice is to get straight back up and try again. Noone is too weak for this - that's just a self defeating cop out, Bard.
Get back up, stop drinking and look at why you fell over - I dunno what you've been doing but maybe like trucker said, it's time to soak up a programme, or a different programme - any choice but the one you made today, Bard, y'know?
You can learn from this - use it and move on.
D
I dunno why you relapsed either - but my advice is to get straight back up and try again. Noone is too weak for this - that's just a self defeating cop out, Bard.
Get back up, stop drinking and look at why you fell over - I dunno what you've been doing but maybe like trucker said, it's time to soak up a programme, or a different programme - any choice but the one you made today, Bard, y'know?
You can learn from this - use it and move on.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: France
Posts: 783
Bard, get up and start again. You wouldn't want us to stumble and quit, we're counting on you to get up and go. Tripping up can happen to anyone, we all need to see that we can get back up once we're down. There's some kind of saying that I can't really remember correctly (my memory isn't what it used to be) at any rate the idea is, Fall down 7 times but get up 8. I'm counting on you.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,776
Bard, please don't give up. I had a one day relapse after more than six months sober, and I got right back up on the wagon, now I have 61 days. If I can do it, so can you. Stop beating yourself up, it does no good. Just learn from it, forgive yourself, and move forward again. You CAN do it.:ghug3
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
BARD!!!!!! Stand up! Knock the dust off! Now go find a nice quit spot, sit down and get honest with your self, take an inventory if you will.
Write down what exactly you were doing to stay sober before the slip.
Look it over, is there anything you quit doing or did half arse?
If not, then accept that you need to add something to what you were doing and do it. If there is something you stopped doing or started to do half arse then start doing it again.
Bard sobriety is a learning process, you are not a failure, just take what you have learned from this, take ACTION and move forward.
BTW most of the things I have found that have helped me stay sober and happy today, were the very things I refused to do for a very long drunken time. When my butt was whipped by alcohol bad enough I became willing to do what ever it took and I have stayed sober.
Write down what exactly you were doing to stay sober before the slip.
Look it over, is there anything you quit doing or did half arse?
If not, then accept that you need to add something to what you were doing and do it. If there is something you stopped doing or started to do half arse then start doing it again.
Bard sobriety is a learning process, you are not a failure, just take what you have learned from this, take ACTION and move forward.
BTW most of the things I have found that have helped me stay sober and happy today, were the very things I refused to do for a very long drunken time. When my butt was whipped by alcohol bad enough I became willing to do what ever it took and I have stayed sober.
A new dawn and new chapter
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
Hey gang I appreciate the thoughts. Sorry for coming across as a crying wuss. Lost my balls there for a second, most of been the estrogen in the beer
But I swear my first 3 months sober I could of lived at a liquor store and not of felt that tempted. But the past 2 weeks were hell. All day every day I was fighting with it. It was in my every thought. I would wake up thinking I want to go drink and it stayed with me till I went to bed. And no matter what I kept telling myself of where I was, the lost relationships I've had due to my drinking, or how busy I kept myself it kept gnawing at me. For f**ks sake how am I supposed to cope with that when the "I wanna drink" voice is yelling at me all the time and no matter what I do it just persists and wont leave me alone?
Well anyway I'm I'm back in a more rational mind frame right now, hungover, but not to awful bad. At least it's not on a nightmare scale but it wont take to many more drunks before the vicious cycle starts again. Hopefully I can avoid it.
But I swear my first 3 months sober I could of lived at a liquor store and not of felt that tempted. But the past 2 weeks were hell. All day every day I was fighting with it. It was in my every thought. I would wake up thinking I want to go drink and it stayed with me till I went to bed. And no matter what I kept telling myself of where I was, the lost relationships I've had due to my drinking, or how busy I kept myself it kept gnawing at me. For f**ks sake how am I supposed to cope with that when the "I wanna drink" voice is yelling at me all the time and no matter what I do it just persists and wont leave me alone?
Well anyway I'm I'm back in a more rational mind frame right now, hungover, but not to awful bad. At least it's not on a nightmare scale but it wont take to many more drunks before the vicious cycle starts again. Hopefully I can avoid it.
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