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Old 04-15-2009, 06:42 AM
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Here I go

Hi everyone, I am new here and sober since just yesterday. I've been drinking a lot for the past three years or so. I didn't really drink before then. I'm not really sure what happened . . . my drinking really took off when I drank to sleep, I had a stressful job at the time. Then I started drinking every night. I quit the job and moved away from the city I was in, but I brought the bottle with me. Then I was drinking during the day, even at work (desk job). Most recently my drinking ends only when I pass out. Sometimes I wake-up with things in my refrigerator that I don't recall buying. UGH, not good.

But I stayed sober yesterday and will stay sober today. I will fight to the death if I have to so I can rid myself of drinking's misery.
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Old 04-15-2009, 06:53 AM
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Welcome to SR Relief.
It is good to hear that you have made the first step and have already gotten over a lot of the physical part.
I am quitting drinking with the support of SR and nothing else.
There is plenty of support here from people who are in similar boats as you are.
Good luck.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:04 AM
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How do you spell relief? S-R and A-A, well, that's how I spell it.

Welcome, you've come to a great site... Keep posting. Do you have a plan in case the withdrawal symptoms get too intense, like, DT's? You should, you know... Maybe a doctor you can call?

Good to see you!!

Mark
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:08 AM
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Thanks folks,

No specific plan. I do, however, see my dr. regularly for a thyroid condition. I've been very lucky when it comes to withdrawal symptoms. They last only one day (yesterday) and involve facial sweating periodically throughout the day.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:14 AM
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I'm glad you found us.

Drinking to sleep was what finally put me over the edge too. It was so easy to take a drink or two before bed and it worked so well for a very short time. And, then, in the blink of the eye, it was controlling my life.
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Old 04-15-2009, 07:25 AM
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My drinking 'career' was short too, less than two years, but I became addicted very quickly. I'm glad you've decided to live better without alcohol. Sobriety is so much worth the effort! Welcome!
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Old 04-15-2009, 08:38 AM
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I do use AA for my alcoholism/recovery
and it's been an awesome adventure
in living sober for me. ...

Welcome to SR....
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Old 04-15-2009, 08:52 AM
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Old 04-15-2009, 08:55 AM
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Welcome I go to AA meetings to help me stay sober.
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:12 AM
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I have not been to AA, and I am not sure I will go. Will that give me less of a chance at recovery?
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:17 AM
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It has help millions of recovering alcoholics... but, people recover without AA. You have nothing to lose by checking out several different meetings/groups. You might like it, but I don't think anyone can tell YOU what's best for YOU.

Mark
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:44 AM
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Welcome!
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:46 AM
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AA works for some, doesn't for others.. just like any program. It is only worth what you put into it. I don't use AA for my recovery, but I do attend individual counseling. Sober 4 months, tomorrow.

This is a huge step, I hope you're ready for a WONDERFUL and EXCITING new life
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Old 04-15-2009, 09:53 AM
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Thanks Flutter. I see an individual counselor as well - very helpful.
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Old 04-16-2009, 06:53 AM
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Good morning all,

I'm back for another day . . . still sober. Did fine last evening, but woke-up a in a bit of a panic this morning. The first thing I thought of is when I could have the first drink today. Scares me terribly. I did my best to suppress the urge and took my dogs out for their morning walk. Then, I hit the gym and came to work. Feeling a bit better, but it is almost as if I have forgotten how to be me without alcohol. And this is only day 3, ugh. I don't feel like myself any more -- the skin and bone appears like me, but my insides are all messed up. I don't like the feeling one bit, and it leaves me wondering if I will ever be me again, and if not, then why fight it? Drinking seems perfectly natural, not drinking does not.
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Old 04-16-2009, 07:12 AM
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Originally Posted by Relief View Post

I have forgotten how to be me without alcohol. And this is only day 3, ugh. I don't feel like myself any more -- the skin and bone appears like me, but my insides are all messed up. I don't like the feeling one bit, and it leaves me wondering if I will ever be me again, and if not, then why fight it? Drinking seems perfectly natural, not drinking does not.
Early sobriety sucks, there is no way around it... you gotta walk this troublesome valley...

I am seven months... I now have many days when I start feeling like myself again... I have faith that I will, indeed, be me again... I know that I can't do it alone, my path to "being me" again has 12 steps, straight up!!

You can do it... Keep posting

Mark

Last edited by Mark75; 04-16-2009 at 07:13 AM. Reason: typo
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Old 04-16-2009, 07:16 AM
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By the way ... Good for you!! 3 days... they get easier, I promise.

Mark
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Old 04-16-2009, 07:29 AM
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I have not been to AA, and I am not sure I will go. Will that give me less of a chance at recovery?
Hard to say, every one is different, for this old man it was AA or no way, I spent years trying to stay stopped until finally there was no choice in the matter I had to drink every day just to function and either got nothing out of it or was passed out.

Feeling a bit better, but it is almost as if I have forgotten how to be me without alcohol.
Oh trust me, that was my biggest fear of sobriety, what was I going to do if I was not drinking? AA helped me a lot in that area, rooms full of recovering alcoholics living life on lifes terms sober!

Everything I did while I was drinking I do better sober today and I remember what I did the next day!!! I have also found that all of those things I used to want to do while I was drinking but never did I can do today sober. I was to busy drinking to worry about trying to live life. Why live life when I can get drunk!!!!
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Old 04-16-2009, 07:40 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post

I have also found that all of those things I used to want to do while I was drinking but never did I can do today sober. I was to busy drinking to worry about trying to live life. Why live life when I can get drunk!!!!
yea that! Or, all the things I tried to do but f'd up because of alcohol!!

At my home group, I have found a group of guys that "do" all things that I used to do but quit because of alcohol... Now, besides sobriety, we share our knowledge and hope and effort in life's activities... fishing, hunting, skiing, etc... it's awesome!!

Mark

Last edited by Mark75; 04-16-2009 at 07:43 AM. Reason: added a paragraph
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Old 04-17-2009, 07:17 AM
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Greetings,

Reading other' posts on this site generates the most relief I have in years. It's a good feeling.

I started day four this morning, although I drank in my dreams last night. So, I woke in a bit of a panic -- this happens to me alot in the morning (panic that is, not drinking, not recently anyway), anyone else?

Back to the dream . . . I don't recall all the details, but I was drinking by myself and getting that warm relaxed romantic feeling. Nothing in the dream got out of control, and I did not appear to have any regret. I find that interesting because I have not drank without consequences and regret for years, yet my subconscious appears to remember. That's where the panic starts . . . will I forget the pain and regret, and if so when? This is the battle I have everytime I have tried quitting before. Anxiety begins, then obsession and finally a period just before the collapse where I justify drinking because I'm miserable anyway. So, why not be miserable and drunk? That sounds like more fun, right?

I tossed those thoughts around as I was preparing the dogs for their morining walk, and then I remembered a post I read here. Someone, and I don't even recall who it was, wrote something about letting the whole story play out, and at the end of everyone of those stories I felt misery, self-loathing and shame. I never, at the end of those stories, felt the relaxed romantic relief my subconscious argued to me in my dream last night.

So, for now, I am playing the story to then end. A sober end. Best part, I learned that here. So, thanks everyone!
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