quit drinking and I will make you whole
Soberus Maxus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
quit drinking and I will make you whole
I've been lurking again.
I'm nervous posting this time. But what is time?
I have a wonderful wife. She prays allot. She has a faith that is incredible.
She believes in things that I have a hard time wrapping my head around.
Like God.
She asked me to pray about my/our life and God would answer me.
I don't believe that's possible. God has way better things to do than talk to me. There's is a ton of people that live on this whirling ball.
Do you guys mind if I hang out here a little bit. Maybe tell a story or two?
Maybe offer a little piece of myself.
Maybe give a little piece of myself.
I don't have a problem admitting that alcohol will be my ultimate demise.
I do have a problem seeking the solution.
Do you all mind if I hang here for awhile?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Az2BvTcshg
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world
Mad world
I'm nervous posting this time. But what is time?
I have a wonderful wife. She prays allot. She has a faith that is incredible.
She believes in things that I have a hard time wrapping my head around.
Like God.
She asked me to pray about my/our life and God would answer me.
I don't believe that's possible. God has way better things to do than talk to me. There's is a ton of people that live on this whirling ball.
Do you guys mind if I hang out here a little bit. Maybe tell a story or two?
Maybe offer a little piece of myself.
Maybe give a little piece of myself.
I don't have a problem admitting that alcohol will be my ultimate demise.
I do have a problem seeking the solution.
Do you all mind if I hang here for awhile?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Az2BvTcshg
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world
Mad world
Soberus Maxus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by adore79 
Hi 
I'd love to see more posts from you. I also love Gary Jule's version of that song thanks for posting it.
I'd love to see more posts from you. I also love Gary Jule's version of that song thanks for posting it.
I hope you don't mind if I ask a couple questions then.
Is it wrong to seek help from a higher power?
Is it weak to seek help from a higher power?
Vagaries really bother me, and I don't mean to be beating around the bush.
Something happened last week and I'm not quite ready to just go blurting it out.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Originally Posted by Max Oblivia
Is it wrong to seek help from a higher power?
Is it weak to seek help from a higher power?
Are you weak/powerless over alcohol?
Mark
Illegitimi Non Carborundum
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Old Home Terra
Posts: 4,272
Originally Posted by Max Oblivia
YouTube - Mad World - Gary Jules & Michael Andrews (Official music video) w/ lyrics
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world
Mad world
All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday, happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me, what's my lesson?
Look right through me, look right through me
And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very, very
Mad world, mad world, enlarging your world
Mad world
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,445
Hi Max,
For me, part of my falling into addiction was because I had lost any spiritual connection I had. So, in recovery, I had to find a way to re-connect spiritually. I had to find a purpose in my life that was greater than myself. I had to learn to listen to my soul and to follow it's path.
For me, part of my falling into addiction was because I had lost any spiritual connection I had. So, in recovery, I had to find a way to re-connect spiritually. I had to find a purpose in my life that was greater than myself. I had to learn to listen to my soul and to follow it's path.
Soberus Maxus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by 51anna
Hi Max,
For me, part of my falling into addiction was because I had lost any spiritual connection I had. So, in recovery, I had to find a way to re-connect spiritually. I had to find a purpose in my life that was greater than myself. I had to learn to listen to my soul and to follow it's path.
For me, part of my falling into addiction was because I had lost any spiritual connection I had. So, in recovery, I had to find a way to re-connect spiritually. I had to find a purpose in my life that was greater than myself. I had to learn to listen to my soul and to follow it's path.
Does a soul normally use the words "I will make you whole"?
I am a decent user of the English language. "Whole" is not a word I normally use.
What is "whole"?
Wouldn't a purpose in life that was greater than yourself just be fulfilling your life to it's Maximum potential?
Or does that matter? Why not just die a discredited town drunk?
When I was young anything was possible. Any mountain climbable.
I'm not young anymore.
Or am I?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Max....
I did not need songs or pictures to know
I was dying from drinking.
Neither do you
Perhaps a counselor to assist you with stopping
your destructive active alcoholism is a wise idea.
Blessings to you and your family....
I did not need songs or pictures to know
I was dying from drinking.
Neither do you
Perhaps a counselor to assist you with stopping
your destructive active alcoholism is a wise idea.
Blessings to you and your family....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Is it your wife's soul that will make you "whole"?
Don't get what you are getting at, really... What happened last week?
Some do decide to die discredited as the town drunk... seems pretty lonely, painful... some have come close... you may hear from someone who came close right here on SR.
But why not start and open up a little, now that you have my interest?
Mark
Don't get what you are getting at, really... What happened last week?
Some do decide to die discredited as the town drunk... seems pretty lonely, painful... some have come close... you may hear from someone who came close right here on SR.
But why not start and open up a little, now that you have my interest?
Mark
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
I think if I can really surrender to alcohol/drugs then I can grasp the meaning of not being the most powerful thing under the sun. That doesnt mean I wont drink/use again but it is progress not perfection. As for the word whole, yeah I guess it kinda is an extreme, like never or forever, so dont use it 
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Welcome to SR!
Max..are you are referring to your wife saying God..or faith in God will "make you whole"?
The concept of a "shattered soul" has been around for quite awhile.
As is the concept of restoration and reconciliation.
We have Spirituality, Christian and Secular forums for deeper discussions..
But do you want to get sober? Or need to? What do you want?
What do you need?
Do you know?
I do know this..admitting a problem is not a weakness, it is a strength.
How can we help you , Max?
Max..are you are referring to your wife saying God..or faith in God will "make you whole"?
The concept of a "shattered soul" has been around for quite awhile.
As is the concept of restoration and reconciliation.
We have Spirituality, Christian and Secular forums for deeper discussions..
But do you want to get sober? Or need to? What do you want?
What do you need?
Do you know?
I do know this..admitting a problem is not a weakness, it is a strength.
How can we help you , Max?
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
My Surrogate Son has now become my Prodigal Son. Welcome home, Max! Sounds like you're still living life on Max's terms. You always were a bit of a hardhead...a lovable one, but a hardhead, nonetheless.
Your question about being made "whole" isn't all that complicated, if you Keep It Simple. I don't think you'd be struggling with trying to find the answers to so many questions, if you didn't have the sense of "something" being missing and not feeling complete.
To quote, in part, one of my daily readings:
I'm happy and relieved to see you back at SR. When you're ready to be less "cryptic" about what's been going on with you, please IM me...I look forward to hearing from you.
As always,
Mama Rae
Your question about being made "whole" isn't all that complicated, if you Keep It Simple. I don't think you'd be struggling with trying to find the answers to so many questions, if you didn't have the sense of "something" being missing and not feeling complete.
To quote, in part, one of my daily readings:
However confused the scene of our life appears, however torn we may be who now do face that scene, it can be faced, and we can go on to be whole.
We can expect to feel fear, even dread at some points in our lives. We will always have situations that, for a time at least, seem more than we can bear. But the clouds will lift. We are never given more than we can handle, and with each passing day we become more at ease with ourselves and all that life gives us. We are learning that "this too shall pass". Our confidence grows as our spiritual program gains strength. Our ties to one another and our ties to the program of recovery make us whole.
No situation will ever have to be faced alone, unless we reject God's help.
We can expect to feel fear, even dread at some points in our lives. We will always have situations that, for a time at least, seem more than we can bear. But the clouds will lift. We are never given more than we can handle, and with each passing day we become more at ease with ourselves and all that life gives us. We are learning that "this too shall pass". Our confidence grows as our spiritual program gains strength. Our ties to one another and our ties to the program of recovery make us whole.
No situation will ever have to be faced alone, unless we reject God's help.
As always,
Mama Rae
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
Great questions, I think about such things as being whole, if we're stranded alone on this planet with no higher power, and if there is even a point to living almost daily (stressfull!). The point is what we make of it I believe, as Mac911 said. It's ok to not have all the answers, it's ok to question things and things SHOULD constantly be questioned, but that sort of leaves myself in a weird avant-garde desperate state of no groundwork for the coming day.
It's an ongoing process I believe. And I think it's great that we don't have all the answers now - leaves room to grow and evolve! Being completely whole spiritually, mentally, and, well, everything else (whole right?!), I dunno...I've spent the last 5 years trying to realize it, now I just TRUST nature. Why not? We're already a part of something bigger in nature - this planet, logically if can follow that there's a hierarchy then (quarks, to atoms, to molecules, to cells, to multi-cellular organisms, and so on). And if we humans aren't whole, then we're a part of the natural hierarchy. Ken Wilbur, a famous philosopher and creator of the Integral Model (basically an incredibly complex but also simple way of viewing things using science, theology, philosophy, technology, marketing, economically, etc, EVERYTHING pretty much) states that we are a Holon, whole but also a part. So ya, I believe in "God" as vague of a term that is nowadays, not in any religious sense though.
Here's a good song that I believe sums up my own views about such questions:
Gojira - Vacuity
The sickness of this world is destroying all the dreams
The fools are kings, tearing apart the soul
The race for complication, communicate reaction
The lack of heart of men, I grow distant from the core
Borrow this body for a lifetime, earthly material
My soul unraveled out of mental
The shell returns to dust
I focus on the present concentrate on what I find
Accelerate the vision high beyond the curse of time
Bring light to my attention, the walls of vacuum fall
This force increases and tells me where to go
Follow, I enter my dimension, awakened heart for life
Enforce my senses, I'm understanding,
I find the will to live straight
I feel the change I see the vicious circle
Finally turned into a virtuous one
Having the whole world in my hands, filled
Timelessness
Out of the frame I feel so vast I'm all around myself
Imaginative interaction
But I keep struggling inside to hold this always
Forever there
Is it the fear to fall in space that keeps us from understanding
The only way to find the power is to look inside
Increase your fall on purpose and let this river flow
Now you hold this secret appeared out of the vacuum of space
Remain in what you are, the center of your life
You made it to this point no one can tell you how
You crawled and bled all the way but you were the only one
That was tearing tour soul apart, you finally find yourself
Good luck with the ongoing journey Max, you certainly are opening my mind again. And I'm not asserting anything or being overconfident, as I find I can do that sometimes...I'm just showing my experience with such questions and where/how I seek solace.
It's an ongoing process I believe. And I think it's great that we don't have all the answers now - leaves room to grow and evolve! Being completely whole spiritually, mentally, and, well, everything else (whole right?!), I dunno...I've spent the last 5 years trying to realize it, now I just TRUST nature. Why not? We're already a part of something bigger in nature - this planet, logically if can follow that there's a hierarchy then (quarks, to atoms, to molecules, to cells, to multi-cellular organisms, and so on). And if we humans aren't whole, then we're a part of the natural hierarchy. Ken Wilbur, a famous philosopher and creator of the Integral Model (basically an incredibly complex but also simple way of viewing things using science, theology, philosophy, technology, marketing, economically, etc, EVERYTHING pretty much) states that we are a Holon, whole but also a part. So ya, I believe in "God" as vague of a term that is nowadays, not in any religious sense though.
Here's a good song that I believe sums up my own views about such questions:
Gojira - Vacuity
The sickness of this world is destroying all the dreams
The fools are kings, tearing apart the soul
The race for complication, communicate reaction
The lack of heart of men, I grow distant from the core
Borrow this body for a lifetime, earthly material
My soul unraveled out of mental
The shell returns to dust
I focus on the present concentrate on what I find
Accelerate the vision high beyond the curse of time
Bring light to my attention, the walls of vacuum fall
This force increases and tells me where to go
Follow, I enter my dimension, awakened heart for life
Enforce my senses, I'm understanding,
I find the will to live straight
I feel the change I see the vicious circle
Finally turned into a virtuous one
Having the whole world in my hands, filled
Timelessness
Out of the frame I feel so vast I'm all around myself
Imaginative interaction
But I keep struggling inside to hold this always
Forever there
Is it the fear to fall in space that keeps us from understanding
The only way to find the power is to look inside
Increase your fall on purpose and let this river flow
Now you hold this secret appeared out of the vacuum of space
Remain in what you are, the center of your life
You made it to this point no one can tell you how
You crawled and bled all the way but you were the only one
That was tearing tour soul apart, you finally find yourself
Good luck with the ongoing journey Max, you certainly are opening my mind again. And I'm not asserting anything or being overconfident, as I find I can do that sometimes...I'm just showing my experience with such questions and where/how I seek solace.
Guest
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 36
Great questions, I think about such things as being whole, if we're stranded alone on this planet with no higher power, and if there is even a point to living almost daily (stressfull!). The point is what we make of it I believe, as Mac911 said. It's ok to not have all the answers, it's ok to question things and things SHOULD constantly be questioned, but that sort of leaves myself in a weird avant-garde desperate state of no groundwork for the coming day.
It's an ongoing process I believe. And I think it's great that we don't have all the answers now - leaves room to grow and evolve! Being completely whole spiritually, mentally, and, well, everything else (whole right?!), I dunno...I've spent the last 5 years trying to realize it, now I just TRUST nature. Why not? We're already a part of something bigger in nature - this planet, logically if can follow that there's a hierarchy then (quarks, to atoms, to molecules, to cells, to multi-cellular organisms, and so on). And if we humans aren't whole, then we're a part of the natural hierarchy. Ken Wilbur, a famous philosopher and creator of the Integral Model (basically an incredibly complex but also simple way of viewing things using science, theology, philosophy, technology, marketing, economically, etc, EVERYTHING pretty much) states that we are a Holon, whole but also a part. So ya, I believe in "God" as vague of a term that is nowadays, not in any religious sense though.
Here's a good song that I believe sums up my own views about such questions:
Gojira - Vacuity
The sickness of this world is destroying all the dreams
The fools are kings, tearing apart the soul
The race for complication, communicate reaction
The lack of heart of men, I grow distant from the core
Borrow this body for a lifetime, earthly material
My soul unraveled out of mental
The shell returns to dust
I focus on the present concentrate on what I find
Accelerate the vision high beyond the curse of time
Bring light to my attention, the walls of vacuum fall
This force increases and tells me where to go
Follow, I enter my dimension, awakened heart for life
Enforce my senses, I'm understanding,
I find the will to live straight
I feel the change I see the vicious circle
Finally turned into a virtuous one
Having the whole world in my hands, filled
Timelessness
Out of the frame I feel so vast I'm all around myself
Imaginative interaction
But I keep struggling inside to hold this always
Forever there
Is it the fear to fall in space that keeps us from understanding
The only way to find the power is to look inside
Increase your fall on purpose and let this river flow
Now you hold this secret appeared out of the vacuum of space
Remain in what you are, the center of your life
You made it to this point no one can tell you how
You crawled and bled all the way but you were the only one
That was tearing tour soul apart, you finally find yourself
Good luck with the ongoing journey Max, you certainly are opening my mind again. And I'm not asserting anything or being overconfident, as I find I can do that sometimes...I'm just showing my experience with such questions and where/how I seek solace. Oh and if you're nervous, look here at my intro thread named "pretty confused about some things", I put my"self" on a platter and threw it towards someone/something, hoping it would stick.
It's an ongoing process I believe. And I think it's great that we don't have all the answers now - leaves room to grow and evolve! Being completely whole spiritually, mentally, and, well, everything else (whole right?!), I dunno...I've spent the last 5 years trying to realize it, now I just TRUST nature. Why not? We're already a part of something bigger in nature - this planet, logically if can follow that there's a hierarchy then (quarks, to atoms, to molecules, to cells, to multi-cellular organisms, and so on). And if we humans aren't whole, then we're a part of the natural hierarchy. Ken Wilbur, a famous philosopher and creator of the Integral Model (basically an incredibly complex but also simple way of viewing things using science, theology, philosophy, technology, marketing, economically, etc, EVERYTHING pretty much) states that we are a Holon, whole but also a part. So ya, I believe in "God" as vague of a term that is nowadays, not in any religious sense though.
Here's a good song that I believe sums up my own views about such questions:
Gojira - Vacuity
The sickness of this world is destroying all the dreams
The fools are kings, tearing apart the soul
The race for complication, communicate reaction
The lack of heart of men, I grow distant from the core
Borrow this body for a lifetime, earthly material
My soul unraveled out of mental
The shell returns to dust
I focus on the present concentrate on what I find
Accelerate the vision high beyond the curse of time
Bring light to my attention, the walls of vacuum fall
This force increases and tells me where to go
Follow, I enter my dimension, awakened heart for life
Enforce my senses, I'm understanding,
I find the will to live straight
I feel the change I see the vicious circle
Finally turned into a virtuous one
Having the whole world in my hands, filled
Timelessness
Out of the frame I feel so vast I'm all around myself
Imaginative interaction
But I keep struggling inside to hold this always
Forever there
Is it the fear to fall in space that keeps us from understanding
The only way to find the power is to look inside
Increase your fall on purpose and let this river flow
Now you hold this secret appeared out of the vacuum of space
Remain in what you are, the center of your life
You made it to this point no one can tell you how
You crawled and bled all the way but you were the only one
That was tearing tour soul apart, you finally find yourself
Good luck with the ongoing journey Max, you certainly are opening my mind again. And I'm not asserting anything or being overconfident, as I find I can do that sometimes...I'm just showing my experience with such questions and where/how I seek solace. Oh and if you're nervous, look here at my intro thread named "pretty confused about some things", I put my"self" on a platter and threw it towards someone/something, hoping it would stick.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Have you ever heard this poem, Max? It's always been one of my favorites...I find it very empowering.
Invictus
William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
First published in 1875, the title means "unconquered". Being alcoholics, I think we're constantly being challenged, but I don't think we can be beaten...especially if we manage to stay sober.
Invictus
William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate
I am the captain of my soul.
First published in 1875, the title means "unconquered". Being alcoholics, I think we're constantly being challenged, but I don't think we can be beaten...especially if we manage to stay sober.
Soberus Maxus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by Jersey Nonny
My Surrogate Son has now become my Prodigal Son. Welcome home, Max!
I'm happy and relieved to see you back at SR. When you're ready to be less "cryptic" about what's been going on with you, please IM me...I look forward to hearing from you.
As always,
Mama Rae
I'm happy and relieved to see you back at SR. When you're ready to be less "cryptic" about what's been going on with you, please IM me...I look forward to hearing from you.
As always,
Mama Rae
Yes, you are correct, cryptic indeed.
I must admit Carol set me back abit. I love expressing myself on the internet thru pictures and sometimes song. I suppose you could say I'm covering for something. I prefer to call it color. Or a way to get my point across. Smilies don't seem to do justice sometimes.
Mama Rae, you have never left my thoughts and I hope you have felt them. Because you have made a difference in my life.
You are a person that has made a difference, I appreciate you for that.
So I'm reluctant to tell a little story but here goes.
Do any of you believe that God actually cares about us? That with all the billions of people on the planet he listens to us individually. That with all the billions of people and trillions of thoughts he can hear mine?
My belief is that is it easier to believe than not. It's just simpler that way.
My wife is a person of true faith and I asked her last week about it. She has a way of breaking it down and I just believe she has Gods ear. I asked her if God answers prayer and she simply said yes.
The reason I am reluctant to tell this story is that why on earth would God care about me? Honestly there are many times in my life I have felt his hand and believed it was him.
So I prayed last week.
God help me thru this time. Help me to understand my place. Help me to be strong.
The next day I sat at my desk with my head in my hands. Depressed, wishing I was dead.
Something plain and simple came to my head.
"Quit drinking and I will make you whole".
Soberus Maxus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
I'm not religious in fact I have maintained some faith but rejected Church years ago.
I don't use language such as came thru my head that day. I believe it is possible that God said it to me. That he cares about me.
I sat at my computor later that night and sobbed. Not a real tear cry.
But an uncontrollable sob. Yet controlled. Like a postage stamp on a letter.
A completion to the prayer.
The next day one of my guys at work came thru the door. I know he's a Christian and have worked with him for several years. But we have never talked about it before.
I asked him flat out several questions and I think one of them was about prayer.
Because during the conversation he used to words to the effect that Jesus would make you "whole". Not speaking of me, and I have no idea now what he was referring to.
Because when I heard the word "whole" my mind went blank.
A word I had never heard him use in that context. I just looked at him, kinda stared. He probably thought I was a little looney.
I just said to myself Crap. What the heck is going on here?
I don't use language such as came thru my head that day. I believe it is possible that God said it to me. That he cares about me.
I sat at my computor later that night and sobbed. Not a real tear cry.
But an uncontrollable sob. Yet controlled. Like a postage stamp on a letter.
A completion to the prayer.
The next day one of my guys at work came thru the door. I know he's a Christian and have worked with him for several years. But we have never talked about it before.
I asked him flat out several questions and I think one of them was about prayer.
Because during the conversation he used to words to the effect that Jesus would make you "whole". Not speaking of me, and I have no idea now what he was referring to.
Because when I heard the word "whole" my mind went blank.
A word I had never heard him use in that context. I just looked at him, kinda stared. He probably thought I was a little looney.
I just said to myself Crap. What the heck is going on here?
Soberus Maxus
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Seattle WA
Posts: 298
Originally Posted by Cubile75
That's wonderful Max... Now, trust Him, lean on Him, have faith the He will do just that, He Will make you whole.
What a wonderful thread.
What a wonderful thread.
I do believe him. I do trust him, and that scares the jeebus out of me.
I began to envision the real plan God would have for my life. The real me.
The power of Sober me.
Max, wouldn't you rather just drink yourself into Oblivia? How many times have I asked myself this question?
Yes,
The answer has always been yes.
You coward. Max, you coward, what happened to the guy that could move mountains?
What happened to the guy that never loses and never takes no for an answer?
Max, are you going to let alcohol beat you? The answer has always been yes.
Alcohol is my friend. Sometimes my only friend.
I do believe him. I do trust him, and that scares the jeebus out of me.
I began to envision the real plan God has for my life. The real me.
I'm so scared and excited at the same time.
My mind is whirling at the speed of God.
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