Please help! What Do I do?
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Join Date: Nov 2008
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Please help! What Do I do?
My son, has had a fight with his girlfriend.
He has sent me a text saying....I can't take this anymore, I just want to be gone forever.
I have taked, begged and pleaded for him to come here and talk. He will not.
He says he has driven to the hills to be alone. Will not tell us where.
What do I do?
He has sent me a text saying....I can't take this anymore, I just want to be gone forever.
I have taked, begged and pleaded for him to come here and talk. He will not.
He says he has driven to the hills to be alone. Will not tell us where.
What do I do?
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 234
I have gotten those texts before and it is harder than your worst nightmare. I ignored my son when he sent those, I can't tell you what to do no one can. I pray for you to find the answers and your son to find the answers as well.
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I guess that is my problem. I know there is nothing I can do! I don't know where he is to do anything.
It is not my first one to get. And, I use to think it was "for attention". But, I guess I am afraid I will think that one to many times.
I have told him he knows what has to happen in order for his life to get better.
But, he acts as if he doesn't even hear me when I say this.
Im better at the moment. Still texting me back and forth, so I know he is still ok.
It is not my first one to get. And, I use to think it was "for attention". But, I guess I am afraid I will think that one to many times.
I have told him he knows what has to happen in order for his life to get better.
But, he acts as if he doesn't even hear me when I say this.
Im better at the moment. Still texting me back and forth, so I know he is still ok.
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 234
We never know what to do when we get something like that. It is every mother's worst nightmare. We feel as if we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. Just keep texting him and try and get a feel for what state of mind he is in. Remember he didn't say he was going to do anything just that he wanted it to end. Remind him he has options open to him.
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If you believe that he is threatening suicide, you can call the the New Mexico State police and give them his cell number.
Believe it or not most cell phones today have GPS in them and they can find him if it is on. They had to do that down here in Las Cruces recently for a friend of mine's daughter. They may tell you to keep talking to him or texting him. That is what they told my friend and she did.
Yes, they can use 'the suicide' threat to get attention. However, after one or two visits by police to do a 'wellness check' if it is being used to 'get attention' it does stop, and if they are serious, the person, depending on the state law can be held for observation from 72 hours to 8 days.
Other than that, no their is nothing YOU can do.
I am sorry you are going through this. Please know you are not alone. There are many of us on here that have had that kind of thing happen so we do understand.
I am sending you love and my prayers.
Love and hugs,
Believe it or not most cell phones today have GPS in them and they can find him if it is on. They had to do that down here in Las Cruces recently for a friend of mine's daughter. They may tell you to keep talking to him or texting him. That is what they told my friend and she did.
Yes, they can use 'the suicide' threat to get attention. However, after one or two visits by police to do a 'wellness check' if it is being used to 'get attention' it does stop, and if they are serious, the person, depending on the state law can be held for observation from 72 hours to 8 days.
Other than that, no their is nothing YOU can do.
I am sorry you are going through this. Please know you are not alone. There are many of us on here that have had that kind of thing happen so we do understand.
I am sending you love and my prayers.
Love and hugs,
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
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Posts: 21
Drama over For Now!
We went ahead with our plans to go to my In-Laws for Easter lunch. He was suppose to come, but of course did not.
I called him on our way home, and he told me he was "at home", which means girlfriends dads house. Im glad he got himself together, and didn't do anything stupid. But, im tired of the drama, I think next time he sends me a text like that I will just reply " well, I hope you don't do anything stupid, you know this will pass, just like before, I love you...mom"
My "tough love" only goes so far. I just do not have it in me to shut him out till he stops the drugs. I do not give him money, I do pay his cell but only as long as he has a job. Which he tested me out on that recently. He quit going to work (small town, I drive by there everyday and stopped seeing his truck there).
So, his cell bill came, I called and told him. He said "you got it right?", I said NO! (old me would have said No, but eventually given in) I told him, "you knew the conditions, your not gonna sit home, smoke pot, sleep all day and not work and expect us to pay your bill. Its not right and you know it!
Well, needless to say he got his job back two days later ( I called his boss to make sure) (she has paid his bills, and she knows everything about him. She thinks he is a "good kid" and thinks she can turn him around) . I do pay his truck insurance, because he doesn't make enough money to do it. If he were older I would not. But, I do it mostly because I know he would drive without it. And, I want him to get to work! We do pay his medical insurance still. But...other then those 3 things that is it. I just can not do the "your not welcome here till you quit or get help". I thought I could, but all I am able to do is say, you are welcome here but your drugs are not.
And (Laurie6781) Thank you for the info! I knew I had heard something like that. And mentioned it to my husband. I was even wondering if I just hung on to the text and showed the police what he had written if they could do anything. But, I suppose they would need to know where to find him at that time either way.
Thank you all for your quick replys!! It all means so much. And I am wondering why I waited so long to start posting.
I called him on our way home, and he told me he was "at home", which means girlfriends dads house. Im glad he got himself together, and didn't do anything stupid. But, im tired of the drama, I think next time he sends me a text like that I will just reply " well, I hope you don't do anything stupid, you know this will pass, just like before, I love you...mom"
My "tough love" only goes so far. I just do not have it in me to shut him out till he stops the drugs. I do not give him money, I do pay his cell but only as long as he has a job. Which he tested me out on that recently. He quit going to work (small town, I drive by there everyday and stopped seeing his truck there).
So, his cell bill came, I called and told him. He said "you got it right?", I said NO! (old me would have said No, but eventually given in) I told him, "you knew the conditions, your not gonna sit home, smoke pot, sleep all day and not work and expect us to pay your bill. Its not right and you know it!
Well, needless to say he got his job back two days later ( I called his boss to make sure) (she has paid his bills, and she knows everything about him. She thinks he is a "good kid" and thinks she can turn him around) . I do pay his truck insurance, because he doesn't make enough money to do it. If he were older I would not. But, I do it mostly because I know he would drive without it. And, I want him to get to work! We do pay his medical insurance still. But...other then those 3 things that is it. I just can not do the "your not welcome here till you quit or get help". I thought I could, but all I am able to do is say, you are welcome here but your drugs are not.
And (Laurie6781) Thank you for the info! I knew I had heard something like that. And mentioned it to my husband. I was even wondering if I just hung on to the text and showed the police what he had written if they could do anything. But, I suppose they would need to know where to find him at that time either way.
Thank you all for your quick replys!! It all means so much. And I am wondering why I waited so long to start posting.
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