LucyLuLu

I'm on day 13 and I thought everything was going so well. Ha Ha, huh ? I've found out my 15 y/o daughter is self-mutilating herself (with a curling iron), and having thoughts of suicide. Her father and I are divorced, so time between us is split in two. I feel so out of control of the part of her life that I'm not able to be there. Am I responsible for what is going on ? Is she going to turn out like me ? I don't know where to go, where to turn, what to do. I know my first instinct is to go buy a bottle, drink until it doesn't hurt anymore, and deal with all of it later. But, as a smart alcoholic knows, the same crap will still be there "later".

Any advice out there from parents of teenagers in trouble ? (with parents on the verge of trouble).

Anna

Hi,

I'm glad that you found out that your daughter needs help.

I would start with talking to your family dr and getting advice about a therapist for your daughter. Hopefully you can find someone who can help her. You need to keep it together and to be there for your daughter. She needs your help.

CarolD

I am so sorry your daughter is having such difficulties

Prayers going out for the 2 of you.

LucyLuLu

I'm also confused by why some threads in this website get hundreds of responses, but when someone like me is asking for help--I get just two. Is it because I am new, or my thread isn't very interesting ?

I truly need some advice here--counselors are good and do their job, but I need some real life advice from an alcoholic parent of a teenager with problems. Tell me your stories--I need some inspiration !

adore79

Hi Lucy, I dont have experience to help but here is a couple forums where you can find info:

Relationships & Parenting In Sobriety - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Mental Health - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Still Waters

I'm sorry to hear this Lucy

It's always a bit slower here on SR on the weekends. I suggest that you might copy and paste your initial post down in the Women in Recovery forum, or maybe even the Alcoholism or 12 Step forum? It might get seen by more people that way.

Prayers for you and your daughter.

:ghug3

least

I am also a recovering alcoholic with a troubled teenage daughter. I can't do much for her other than setting boundaries and loving her no matter what. I would suggest counseling for your teen and possibly a support group for you with other parents of troubled teens. I will keep you and your teen in my prayers.

The only thing I know for certain is that drinking over my problems with daughter will only make things worse for both of us.

Anna

Lucy,

Some threads get more responses than other threads do for whatever reason.

Take some time to look around and read and learn. There is a lot of valuable information on the threads here.

stone

Hi Lucy, I am sorry to hear about your daughter.

As for not getting many responses, it is true that weekends are slow here and also your situation is very specific, you even asked for responses from "parents of teenagers in trouble".

I know this situation is very hard to deal with, you know it will be impossible to deal with if you are hiding in a bottle.

Missymae737

Hi,

I am so terribly sorry for your pain...I am right there with you...If you have a chance read my thread entitled, "Please, I need your encouragement and support.

Since posting that thread I have moments of peace and moments of udder despair...

You keep coming here and share your pain...There are kinder folks here that really share your pain ...and in a genuine way care for you...

Thinking of you...

Helene

Congratulations on your sobriety! It sounds like your daughter will also be needing you to be sober if you are to help with whatever it is that is causing her pain. As a parent I can also understand the pain you must also be feeling to find this out. Usually people self mutilate as a way of expressing deeper emotional injuries that they cannot address in other ways, the physical pain seems to dull or "make real and bearable" the emotional one. Try to keep this in mind when you are dealing with her, teenagers are sensitive at the best of times. Don't forget to look after yourself and ask for help!

About the replies, it is easter weekend and a lot of people are away etc. Keep posting.
Love
Helene

eeerooo

I feel for you. Your daughter needs medical attention the key thing is that she is willing to seek help. Be strong....try to find out who she is hanging out with at that age, there might be others that are giving her that negative influence. Don't blame it on yourself. Just be there for her. I have raised 2 daughters and I know that breakups with boyfriends upset them very much. I would read there diarys because they won't tell you anything.