NeedingHelp7

Just when I thought things were going well for her....She called and told me the most horrendous drama.

She went to Arizona last week to her Dads wedding. He married a woman whose father is a preacher. 2 days later AD's (can't believe I'm posting "AD" again, I hate calling her an AD) Dad and new wife were at the casino and the new wife got mad because he wouldn't stop gambling (he has a problem w/ this and many other things). He was up $800 but the new wife wanted to leave. He said "no" so she put a cigarette out on his back in the casino and beat him up cutting his lip. The police came, I guess no arrest. My daughter asked why he married her, he said because she was wild and he thought it might calm her down. So because this new wife disrespected her dad, my AD went after the new wife. My AD supposedly called her a name. She told the new wife that she's lucky because if she had done that yrs ago to her dad, her dad would have killed her (this is true). The new wife came at my AD (so she says), and my AD pounded her head into a table almost knocking her out. The police came and almost arrested my AD, but everyone said the new wife came at her first, so they didn't arrest her. I told her about Alanon/Naranon, that this would be helpful for her. She said she doesn't have time for that stuff.

My AD told me she smoked pot 2 days before that on the ride to Arizona. (I thought it had been 5 yrs since she smoked it). She said it had been actually 2 yrs ago the last time after her son (my gs), was born. See I know my AD, had she not smoked 2 days prior she wouldn't have got violent. It was always after when she got violent. I told her she was relapsing, she doesn't believe me when I tell her this. So I directed her to Naranon, and she said she doesn't have time for that stuff.

My AD crashed her dads truck while there, but didn't tell him until she got back home to Utah. No damage. The strange thing is she crashed our (AH and my) car the night of our wedding (2001), we had a rental and were on our way to our mini honeymoon. Much damage, she was on coricidine (over the counter pcp at that time), no license, she was 16yrs old then. I don't think she likes seeing her parents get married, me or her dad. She can't stand her father, and thinks he a piece of _____. I don't know why she went to the wedding. Oh boy that just hit me, I bet she got high because of that (no excuse though).

AD said the new wife does a lot of pills, and her dad got out of rehab 2 weeks ago.

Anyway...the new wife and her dad are now not together, and will be going to counceling with the new wifes father (the preacher) soon.

Thankfully they live a few states away, and it will be rarely AD sees them again.

Hows that for the perfect addict wedding?

Thankfully I'm clear across the USA from them all right now.

NH7

suki44883

Serenity Bound

OMG!! That's too much! I'm sorry to hear about your AD, but the rest, well what can I say........whoooh glad I wasn't there.

Hurtbad2505

Sounds like my H's father's wedding years ago...drama abounded, along with the liqour...it was 'interesting'.

Do you really think that her smoking pot two days earlier made her aggressive? I am no expert but any means, but I did smoke a fair amount in my younger years and don't remember anything like that. I do remember my H's family constantly fighting and causing drama from drinking WAY too much.

NeedingHelp7

Yes, I believe it's the pot, she reacted this way after coming down off of it. She was calm when high on it. She'll tell you that pot makes her calm. She used to try to tell me pot wasn't that bad.
But....it could be a possibility she drank too, but she didn't mention it.

MyJoey

I have to agree with HB on that one, smoking weed never made me aggressive (Many years ago). It didn't do that for my son either he was always very calm and you couldn't make him aggressive even if you wanted to after smoking. Sounds like she was on something other then weed.

NeedingHelp7

This is the same father I took my daughter away from Utah when she was 3yrs old. She returned to him, because she wanted her dad, who called her but maybe 6 times from the age of 3 til 14. He was in and out of jail when I was with him, he was in and out of prison when she was with him. I never dared go back to Utah in fear he would kill me for taking her away. He snuck her a train ticket at age 14 to run out there. I got her back through the juvenile interstate compact. She kicked me down the stairs and the hospital labeled her homicidal. She ran again out there when she was 16 only to clean up his heroine needles out of his garage. She came back to me. She left again when she was 18 on pot. I prayed and prayed God would protect her. He was put in prison the night she got there. He had warrants out of Las Vegas and the FBI busted in her grandmothers door the same night she arrived there looking for him. (daughter thought they were coming after her). They found him. He was in prison for the next 3 yrs, and my daughter didn't have to see his mess anymore. She was safe, and I was so thankful. She stopped pot when she got there because she got pulled over and the police found a roach in her ashtray. Out there the judge orders outpatient treatment and makes them pay for the treatment (not insurance). So she stopped, got a job at 18 and is still working the same job as a supervisor. She's now 23.

Her father and I broke up when she was 8 months old because he was cheating on me. I was no fun any more with a child to care for and all.

This is the same father that came in our trailer, extremely high. I was living with girlfriend and her child after we broke up. I started dating again. He kicked in our door in the middle of the night came in with a gun and began to shoot all over the trailer. He held us all hostage. He came in my and daughters bedroom. My date and I laying on the bed (fully clothed thankfully). He shot the gun and missed my daughters head by 2 inches, she was standing in her playpen. He pistol whipped my date, kicked him in the head and face I don't know how many times. He shot the gun into the mattress inches away from my date. My friend got away to call the police and her dad was arrested and jailed. While he was out on OR he bribed my date not to show to court for a car, and my date accepted the bribe.

I moved home with mom, daughter was 18 months at that time. I was dating another guy and he was laying on the floor watching tv one day in the living room, her dad walked in the front door, kicked him in the face as hard as he could and walked out.

Well anyways.....I guess AD relapsed a couple of times now I'm finding out. She became very violent when she did drugs too. I still pray God keeps her and the grandbaby safe, and this is her last time.
She needs to realize she can never ever ever do drugs!!!! It seriously whacks her out, more than most.

Knowing I'm powerless over it all, I pray Gods will be done.

NH7

kwigers

It sounds as though physically you may be at a distance, but mentally you may be much closer than you may think!
~Cheryl

cece1960

Oh...geez...
I don't know what to say!
Honestly, it sounds like a movie.
I hope she leaves that environment.
I hope you are able to separate yourself from the drama
Prayers going up ((((NH)))

Done_With_It

Wow, NH, that's a lot of stuff for you to be dealing with.....

It would be my guestimate, like the others it was not the pot
that made your daughter act in that manner. Been around a
lot of pot and pot users and never seen any reaction like that.
Just my opinion but with your daughters background sounds
like she is more addicted to drama, I didn't have the same
background as her, but I had a lot of crazy **** happen in
my childhood, and teen years, and I was drawn to drama
for a long time, it made me almost nervous when something
wasn't happening because then I was waiting for something
"to happen" and that feeling was worse than dealing with
something happening.

I don't go around my Dad or the step Monster and I haven't
in years, because I know there would be drama. I've been
invited more times than I can count, but ... eventually,
hopefully you learn when there is going to be trouble,
you just say No.

She's so young still, hopefully in time she will get sick of
the drama and want a better way for herself.

JMO as always..

In the mean time, take care of you!!

:ghug3

mooselips

NeedingHelp7,
Lucky you live far away.

I think this is what is meant when people say....

LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION....



Hugs.......

NeedingHelp7

This makes sense Done. And I hope she's get done with this kind of immature violence.

AD has a new boyfriend. I think she was showing off playing the "tough girl" act in front of him too. Not good. There were 3 children in the midst watching this also.

Done_With_It

I try and remember if you don't 'feed' something it can't grow.
Try not to feed into her drama or her stories like this.
(Not that I am saying you did)
I know she is your kid, but she has choices.
She has choices in how she handles situations, until she
decides to handle them differently, don't feed into her drama.
It doesn't help her. She's doing what is comfortable to her,
don't make them anymore comfortable for her.


JMO........

((((NH))))

NeedingHelp7

Thanks Done, your right. I didn't feed into it too much. I just hate it when she has the "bully" kind of attitude. It always happens with her if drugs are involved.

Seren

Yowza....sounds like a, er, good time was had by all?!

Glad you did not get too far involved! Hugs and prayers, HG

Chino

With her and her dad having evil tempers, it reminded me of nature vs nuture. Nature always wins and that's not good in this instance

GwenMarie30

Wow Needinghelp. That is alot of drama that thankfully you dont have to deal with. Sending you a hug and grateful that your not letting this affect you.