RedeemedChild

I don't even know where to start?
I am a newbie here, been lurking around for a bit, but now its time to get your advice...

My 25yr old daughter has a drug/alcohol problem.
I have no "proof" of this except her life, like she is always staying out somewhere, drags her 7yrold son and 17 mo old twin babies all over the place. They never know where they are gonna sleep, and when she does stay home, there are people there partying all night. 7yoGS is late for school all the time, 22 times on record this year. Not a few minutes late either, the teacher says that he is anywhere from 45 minutes to 2 hours late. He stayed at my house the other night and he said he had to sleep in his school clothes because if we woke up late he wouldn't have time to get dressed.
Whenever we ask him about where he's been (or anything else for that matter) he says I don't want to talk about it or my MoM told me not to tell you that.

I found text messages on her phone that talked about "skittles" and when I google that, it is slang for "robo trippin" which is slang for over dosing on Dextromethorphan. Apparently the kids have found yet another way to get high on something over the counter. It says that large doses can cause a PCP type high. (anybody ever hear of that?)

Then someone else told me that skittles in some places is actually ecstasy.

I know she lost her job last summer and has not been able to get another one. I know that she said she went for a drug test for one job and they spilled her urine and she couldn't "go" again, so they wouldn't hire her...liar! And she isn't even a good liar.

I know that she hangs with some real derelicts...

I heard she is getting food stamps and sells them.

There is more, but you get the gist of it right?

I am afraid she is going to lose her babies.
7yoGS can go live with his Dad at his other GP's, the babies need to come live with me. I don't say that lightly, 7yoGS is my baby boy, but he needs more than I can give. At the other GP's he can have his own room and lots of one on one. My house is full with my 23yoDD and her 3 babies, but I will put up another baby bed and just do what I gotta do.

I want to have an intervention, I want to give her a chance to do the right thing and give us the babies and get help before it is too late.

I am not sure when we are doing it, but I know we need prayer....

My heart is so heavy, I cannot even tell you. I know I cannot do anything for Amanda, she has to want it for herself, and I do not think she is at her bottom yet.

But I cannot, let those babies continue to live the way they are, and I will not let them go to Foster care.


EDITED to add:
Everything above is what was yesterday, today is a different story. Gotta type it out...TBC

RedeemedChild

for clarification....

"home" is her dad's house. He is out of town alot. It used to be that when he was gone Amanda and her friends would drink and party there, and she just behaved when he was home. Well actually she just didn't have her friends over, she still drank because her dad does, so that wasn't a problem.

Her dad found out that she'd been having her friends over when he wasn't there, and he was giving her a hard time about not having a job, and about different things, so she stopped coming home when he is in town. She just stays gone, it's usually only 4 or 5 days at a time that he is home, then he is gone for 10 days or so. Lately she has started staying gone even when he is not home.

She has been avoiding me and the rest of the family for a long time. only comes around when she really needs something, like when she was sick a couple of weeks ago and I tok the babies.

RedeemedChild

How long has this been going on?

Really? her whole life? no, I don't know, it has been such a progression to this point that I don't think I could say it started "here". I think she has had addiction problems for years.She got the DUI when she was 17, and although I did believe her that she was drugged by someone else, I seriously question that right this minute. She is 25, if we go back to that time in her life, and her sister says we should, then it has been for about 10 yrs.

RedeemedChild

Last night things took a turn for the worse.

First my ex husband caved and he said he couldn't do an intervention.
Said he couldn't just throw AD out in the street and take her babies away from her.
He said if we did that she would have nothing to live for and would kill herself and he wouldn't be a part of it, that if I do it and she dies it will be my fault. I told him we'd feel just as bad if one of her babies dies and we could have prevented it.

So what does he do? He calls AD and tells her I am trying to get him to kick her out on the streets so I can take her babies!

Then I stop at her house after working a double, been up sisnce 4:30am and its 11:15pm! I end up getting into it with her and litterally had to wrestle with her to get the cell phone away from her. The phone is in my name and I know it has texts on there that prove what she has been doing. She tried to erase it before I could get it, then she tried to keep me from even getting it, then when I did get it away from her, she tried to block me from getting out the door! She was like a crazed maniac, screamin and cursin at me.She threatened to take the boys and leave the state and I would never see them again...She would alternate from I hate you to Why do you hate me so much?

It was/is very painful and scary. She was gone this morning, but not out of state, she went to ADBF house. I am praying 7yoGS is in school this am and that his daddy can get him after school. He was supposed to even before this all happened.

So, anyway the phone has a few references to drug deals, she is apparently dealing or the go between for BF who is dealing. There was a request from one of her friends to trade some "tabs" aka Lortabs for some Adderall, which is 7yoGS ADHD med!
There was also a request last night for some urine from one of the girls from church, AD needs it for a drug test she as to take today for a job interview. She had told me she has an interview today and that she would have to take a drug test when I asked her to take one to prove she is clean.

I was almost afraid to go to sleep last night and only slept about 2 hours.

Praying for the Lord to show me what ot do with the phone...should I turn it in to CPS?
Will they even be able to find her?

RedeemedChild

Well up to the present...

Just talked to 7yoGS daddy, he is in school, but AD left message that she was keeping him home this weekend.

Her phone has been getting texts and VM all day about drug deals.

So what do I do from here? Do I give her phone to the police?

GwenMarie30

I will PM you RedeemedChild.

Marlie

First and foremost, you have to protect the children. Call social services and tell them what you know.

outtolunch

Get the school counselor and Social Services involved ASAP.

Freedom1990

I agree.

RedeemedChild

Well, I called my friend, who called the DA, who said well get the phone and get with me next week.

Seriously?

MyJoey

Well I say the same thing, protect them children they don't deserve this. On the "Robo Trippen" my son has done a lot of this and it is really bad, I would lock my bedroom door at night when he was using that stuff I never seen anything like it. He was even using it in school and getting pulled out of class. The same with the ecstasy he was bad on that one also. I am sorry you are having to deal with so much, but glad you found a place with tons of support. Julie

rozied

Oh Redeemed Child, I am so very sorry that you & your family are going through this. I will pray that your grandbabbies will be safe & your daughter gets the help she so desperately needs.
I know how it is to have an addicted child My 42yr old son has been addicted since he was 21. He is 42 now & has spent the better part of the last 10yrs in jail.

Serenity Bound

I agree with all the others, definitely get the support of school counselor & CPS.

RedeemedChild

Yesterday was really hard as I turned Amanda's phone over to my friend, who will give it to the DA. I went to the alter and she and Joe went with me. I cried and prayed, as did she, and then I gave it ot her. It was really hard. It will ruin her life unless God intervenes, and it will ruin what tiny thread of a relationship I have with my child. I know she will hate me forever, and so will my mom. It was probably was the hardest thing I've ever done, to hand her that phone. She said she would tell the DA that this is the daughter of a friend and unless he can use the information to really do something, to please not ruin her life.

RedeemedChild

My hope is that we can talk Amanda into giving temporary custody to us, the twins to me, and Cobie to Susan & Preston. I am also praying that she will go to Teen Challenge. I have a friend who can get her in for free in another state, but it is a very intensive program that last 12-18 months. I doubt she will agree to leave her babies for that long, even though that would be best for them in the long run.



Unfortunately, I do not believe she is at her bottom. She is very angry with me right now and is definately not going to listen to me. Hopefully God will put someone in her face that she will listen to.

Spiritual Seeker

another mom here who understands your grief.
Hang in there...unfortunately we can't force our grown addicted children into the help they need.

Be patient... hopefully your AD will soon get to a place where she will listen and see that her life is unmanageable.
Usually when we are the ones to continually remind them they need treatment, they avoid us all the more.My son did, but eventually he did listen and went into a yr. long treatment program.

Marlie

As a mother of an addicted daughter, I know your pain. Hang tough and know that you are not alone.

lostparent

So sorry for the hell you are going through. But like the others have said protect the kids. Can the 7 yr old s father file for custody? What about the twins father is he in the picture? It hurts so bad when you have to make a choice between your daughter an her children. But she is an adult they are just poor innocent victims in this. They need to be some where safe an normal were they will be loved an cared for until you Ad gets her life together.
Good luck sending prayers your way.

JMFburns

Redeemed,

I'm sorry for what you are dealing with, but you are doing the right thing by trying to protect her children.

Have you thought about NarAnon or AlAnon meetings for yourself. They have been helpful to me.