HoopNinja

I was so nervous. My hands were sweating and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate while I was driving there and I was thinking what is wrong with you? Why are you having close to a panic attack about going to an AlAnon meeting?
I got there and walked in and thought--wow, lots of people here. I'm a non-smoker and so they directed me to that room and while chatting before the meeting started I discovered it was an AA meeting. It was at a clubhouse. They told me the AlAnon meeting at that time had been cancelled over a year ago and they still had not taken it off the website.
So I am hoping that since I made it to where the meeting was--even though there was none--I will not be so nervous about going to the next one.
Was anyone else nervous about going to their first meeting? I am trying to figure out why I was so nervous. I was going there to get help for myself and knew I was going to have to face stuff that would be hard. I've been in therapy before and was not afraid. I've even been in group therapy and was not afraid. On those occasions I had to face a lot of really atrocious behavior I had due to my mom's and 1st EXAH's treatment.

tallulah

I can't tell you how nervous I was. I can't even remember how I got there really: I just pointed myself in the right direction and just kept walking. When I walked in one person was setting up. She asked me if I had been before and I said no. Then I burst into tears. I spent almost the entire time looking at the floor just listening until it came to the end and it was my turn to share. Cue more crying and some disconnected spilling out of things. Awful but so cathartic. I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was feeling again.

Second meeting I went to I tried one in another area of the city. A much bigger meeeting and in an unfamiliar area. Once again nervous as hell. I got there and this time managed to get through the meeting without tissues.. but afterwards, after applying some of the 'chair' to my own life, more tears. But again ones of release.

I think everyone feels a little nervous walking into the room. By doing so you are declaring to a bunch of strangers that you are not in a happy place and asking for ESH. But you made that first step into there by saying that is where you are and what you need.

I hope you get to go to an Al-Anon meeting soon. :ghug

spikedaball

For me, it wasn't so much anxiety and nerves but more of something that I had to do....something I NEEDED to do. I was looking for direction. It also helped that I asked a friend to go with me. She was, at the time, my AW's best friend and she wanted help as well. So, maybe having someone go with you will help ease some of the anxiety.

Spiritual Seeker

If you stick with alanon and work it, change is possible.
Change is sometimes scary

SJLady

I just started attending meetings last week. So far I've been to two and will go again this evening. Was I nervous? You bet I was, but I think it was because I didn't know what to expect. I felt so lost because I am not familiar with the program. When it came to my time to share I was honest with them about my unfamiliarity...but you know what? They listened to what I had to say. Everyone was so warm, so friendly and more importantly, they are in the same boat as I am, and they have been in my shoes as a newcomer, so they know what that's like. The tremendous amount of support they have shown me has been very comforting. I am far away from my family, and I certainly don't want to burden them with my problems, so for me Al-Anon has been a wonderful source of support from people who understand what I'm going through!

It's okay to be nervous, but please muster your strength to walk back through that door. You won't be sorry!

HoopNinja

Spiritual Seeker--I dont' think I am afraid of the change-I'm actually excited about it. I am afraid of the response from AH when the changes start to take place--so perhaps that is in there somewhere. He is back to being in a state of total denial and looking for me to give him permission to drink. I am trying to figure out a way to talk to him about divorcing/legally separating that does not turn into a hate filled verbally violent discussion--from his end. He is pretty unpredictable lately. One week out of control the next reasonable and actively being part of the family (the phase he is in now). I don't want to wait unitl the next out of control period and know he will be floored because "he is being good now" and so won't expect it. I don't know if I am in denial thinking he will cooperate. I guess I am hopeful but not expecting it.
SJLady--you make a very good point that everyone else was a newcomer at some point too.
I do plan to go back.

JerseyGirl

I started in January of this year. I tried doing it months before that, but was so panicky over going....I would drive past, or find some excuse. Totally normal feeling.