MissFixit

Hello all,

This past Friday was my birthday. I went ot NC to visit my father and go out to a nice dinner, have cake, get away, etc... On our way to dinner my exabf's car was parked in the lot next to the restaurant. He went to my neighborhood in NC again with his fiance. Okay, this has happened three times and doesn't seem to be stopping. He drove past the restaurant as we were sieated near a window. He has no license. Not my business.

Monday afternoon my father calls me to ask my if I called L over the weekend at the hotel. I say of course not, why do you ask. L's fiance called and left messages for my father at his office demanding that my dad stop me from calling L. I haven't called l since October. Apparently she called my godmother last week and left similar messages. Godmother didn't tell me this until today.

Question, what should I do? Anything? No contact doesn't seem to be working. Ideas?

Miss

Barbara52

Unfortunately, your ex has the right to go where he wants. And it sounds like you have no contact and he is respecting that. Others are being contacted, not you. They have every right (and ability) to also go no contact. This is not your problem unless you want it to be.

I hope you had a great birthday!

kj3880

Just keep documenting any sightings and contacts that he has with relatives, including attempting to pass messages through them, if he does that. Every detail can be helpful in proving stalking, which is "a course of conduct." This means that it occurs over time. Someone can't be charged, for example, if they drive by your home once or twice over the period of a month or so. But, if you see them parked out front of most places you go, watching for you a lot, these drive-bys could become part of the documentation you present to the court. Similarly, one text message, unless it is menacing or threatening, doesn't signify stalking. But if there are, say, 50, and you'd asked him not to contact you, that one message will be a part of your case. Dates and times, a brief entry for each attempted contact. Include when he uses a third party to contact you for him.

Love,
KJ (who has successfully had an ex found guilty of stalking, and had him jailed!)

kj3880

And if you do feel there is danger, then contact the police.

MissFixit

Thanks Barbara and K.

This is just disturbing to me as I have had not contact for months. Dad has no contact, and godmother has no contact (she stopped taking L's calls). L still leaves her messages, not my business, she doesn't answer. The fiance calling godmother, dad and emailing me the other week with demands that I stop contacting L is scaring me a bit. I haven't called him since Oct. She keeps saying to Dad, godmother and emails to me that I have. I haven't.

I don't want to be bullied, and one or both of them is clearly insane. Her contact is escalating. No one has ever responded to her. I can't make her stop. Dad just got realy frustrated with me on the phone yesterday, not knowing how to handle her as ignoring isn't working. He is worried for me as I moving back to my old town next month. I know L wouldn't do anything to me, but she seems to be a LOOSE CANNON.

Barbara52

If you are truly concerned, document it all and perhaps consider getting a restraining order if necessary.

MissFixit

Thanks Barbara. I don't want to overreact. It just freaks me out a bit. My dad was in an uproar, and he mentioned being worried about my welfare as did a friend.

I really didn't think about it until they said they feared it. Now I am thinking about it too.

We are documenting ALL instances.

Thanks.