louis

I dont know what to say other than the title...
I nearly bought alcohol just to make this feeling go away... i didnt though... i bolted home as quick as i could and hid under my duvet... im so tired of this self pitying behaviour... i just cant seem to get past it...
Ive not drank for 40 days... it should be getting better right?
I should have gone to a meeting but cant face anyone...
One day im fine... the next im manic... the next im a blubbering nervous wreck... i dont know if i can keep this up...
Im sorry

louis

adore79

Im sorry to hear that Louis. Is there someone you can call since you dont want a meeting? Watch a funny movie, play games, do whatever you can to occupy yourself. It will pass and you will feel better. Just be good to yourself. I'll say a prayer for you.

firestorm090

Hey Louis,

I had the same problem yesterday, and came here instead of drinking. I feel much better and you will too.

Try to bear in mind that people who don't drink have up and down days too. They just don't drink over them. That's what we have to learn. Congrats on forty days, that's great stuff. Keep it up. There's no guarantee that all will be rosy, but alcohol only makes life much worse, as you well know. Hang in there and check out my thread from yesterday, it does pass.

C23

Louis, read some of my other posts. It isn't worth it man. I agree with Adore, do anything that will take your mind off drinking. We both know what is going to happen if you drink. Tomorrow you will feel like crap and you will feel totally guilty that you drank after being able to go 40 days without drinking. Focus on the fact that you were able to defeat this demon for the last 40 days and for that you are stronger and have the power to beat it another day.

Julesy

Hey Louis I know exactly how you feel. I am 60 days sober and out of the blue the last few days I have had terrible cravings to have a drink (we all know that wouldn't be just one!!!!!). At the time, usually around the end of the day, I cannot get it out of my head and have to get dinner on the table as quick as I can as I don't seem of have the urges once I have eaten. I have never been to any meetings and have managed sobriety for 60 days by my own willpower and this wonderful forum.I am now beginning to wonder if that is enough? I am like you and feel that after this length of time sober it should be getting easier right??
We need to help each other through this cos I sure as hell don't want to be a "day one'er" again.
:praying
:praying
:praying

Anna

Louis,

It's hard!

Take some time to pat yourself on the back and be proud of having made it through 40 days sober!

Hevyn

Louis, these cravings will happen less and less as you go along. 40 days is great, but still early in the game. Your body and mind are still trying to adjust to the changes. I know you can stay strong and fight the urges - this is all part of getting better. Firestorm's thread from yesterday was excellent, so please do check it out. I myself still have cravings after 15 months, so it's normal. Don't feel bad - just keep on marching forward.

louis

Thankyou....

This will be my fourth attempt at a reply... a new emotion is surficing and it called
"extremely f**ked off"... this comp has booted me four times from the site...

Thanks for your advice and words.... i know it will pass and i think thats probably the hardest thing to deal with... there is no rhyme or reason to it.

I've borrowed a couple of d.v.d's off my flat mate and am gonna try and watch them... nothing like some blood and gore to cheer me up!!!!
I will check out tht other thread too... thankyou.

I could handle this if it just set on one emotion at a time... but i was fine this morning... then the thought of a rink set in and it was like a sledge hammer chipping away at me... i hate it... i dont want to drink... i know what wil happen... im not gonna drink... i dont want to go back to day one and how i felt then...

Thankyou again and sorry about this

be well
louis

tanyapmc

I am sorry that you are struggling but you have done the right thing by coming here and talking about it. Try this site about Post Acute Withdrawal. It helped me in the beginning and I think it will help you too.

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

HideorSeek

Louis, I feel your pain, I really do. Go and read my thread "when a drink seems like a good idea..." from yesterday. Pull through this any way you can (and you CAN). Go to sleep, even, but don't drink! I already took your fall, and I can tell you, that it doe NOT make anything better. You are stronger than these cravings. Tomorrow, you will feel like a stronger person, I promise!

Aysha

Thats early recovery. I big emotional rollercoaster.
I am sure we all have been there. I know I go through it and it sucks.
Makes me feel like I am coming unglued.
Just stay close and read and post.
Good job on not picking up. That takes alot of strength. Especially when our emotions are goin a million different directions at once.
I hope you feel better soon. And you will.
Hang in there.

Toomutch

The emotional rollar coaster ride makes sobriety difficult, but obviously not impossible. Congratulations on 40 days of sobriety, you're doing great!
As others have said the cravings will come less often with time. For now just get through them by trying to focus on something else. When I find myself craving, I simply think of the last time I drank, thats enough to keep me sober, it was an awfull night.

ladyangelcake

hi louis , before you pick up a drink try to remember your last drunk, the nasty hangovers, the terrifying blackouts, the remorse and guilt, the hurt and pain you may have caused, the vomitting and dry reaching, the physical injuries you may have obtained, the self loathing, the deceit, the loss of self respect.... is it worth it? you know the answer, i wish you well and will pray for you. stay strong and positive and dont be frightened to ask for help x

mikefreak

Keep on plugging away, Louis. some days you will feel like you are making good progress, others you think you are two steps back. You already have 40 days under your belt, so why turn back now?? Maybe things will look better tomorrow- give it a chance.

Tommyh

Louis,you can sit there alone and suffer,or get your butt to a meeting and be around others.If you sit there alone long enough,you know what will happen.

Mark75

My mood started to darken today. I had an errand that took me to a town I used to be at frequently (daily for many years)... many good memories, some, pretty bad. Had not been there since I've been clean and sober.

I am only about seven months. But I have seven months of experience that... this too shall pass... and experience in getting out of the nosedive... gratitude list (really helps), prayer, acceptance...

You have 40 days... You've been here before, right? Whatever you did last time worked, because you are still sober!

I think bballdad is right... go to a meeting if you can... that always works for me, a lot.

Mark

louis

Thankyou again....

I read the link on PAWS and could relate to alot it was saying so am going to read it afew more times til it sinks in and do something about it.

I read the other threads too and they did help... Thankyou

bballdad I could go to a meeting... not tonight as its nearly 12.30am.. i just find when i am feeling like this... i need to lock myself away from the outside world... and i know it could be seen as me stewing... which if i am being honest is probably something to do with it... i do struggle when i feel like this to be around people... anyway... excuses aside... i will be hitting my meeting in the morning...

I know i need to get past this and again thankyou for all your advice etc....
I want to get past this so will ne to work at it.

be well
louis

serenityqueen

Hi Louis!

Glad to see your doing well, yes, all these crazy, yo yo, roller coaster feelings are normal, so I consider them well. You didn't pick up, right?

Early Recovery is hard, suddenly we are feeling all these emotions that we medicated with alcohol and or other substances and they all come rushing at us, seems like all at once sometimes. Just keep talking about what's going on, post away on here and go to Meetings when possible. You have my email address, please get in touch with me. I was down sick for a while, but I'm back!!!!!!

Congrats on how far you have come!

Hugs,
Judy

Aysha

Checkin in on you. Hopeing your doing better today.

Toomutch

Hope you are having a better day Louis! :ghug3