New here/first Al-Anon meeting
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 43
New here/first Al-Anon meeting
Hello everyone!
I'm pretty much brand new here. I am 21, living at college and away from my alcoholic (and abusive) parents. I'm really just starting to sort through the ways that my identity and behavior has been affected by growing up around all that, and also dealing with my relationship to my family now, and the ways that I relate to 3rd party drinking (interestingly, there's a fair amount of that in college). My therapist suggested I check out an Al-anon meeting,which I'm planning to do, but I like to know as much as possible about a situation before going in to it (go figure
) and since it seems like many of you have participated in Al-anon or similar meetings, I was wondering if anyone could help with these questions:
1-I would have to leave a little bit early...the meeting ends at 1, and I have to leave about 12:50. Would that be a problem?
2-I don't think I'm going to feel like talking. I understand that this is ok, right?
3-There's a high probability that I'll see people I know...the meeting is practically on campus. This doesn't bother me, but I'm curious about etiquette. Is it appropriate to greet or sit next to a familiar face?
4-I am Jewish, and have no problem with the idea of talking about a higher power, but feel a little iffy about prayer that is from the Christian tradition. Would respectful silence be ok?
Thanks a ton!
I'm pretty much brand new here. I am 21, living at college and away from my alcoholic (and abusive) parents. I'm really just starting to sort through the ways that my identity and behavior has been affected by growing up around all that, and also dealing with my relationship to my family now, and the ways that I relate to 3rd party drinking (interestingly, there's a fair amount of that in college). My therapist suggested I check out an Al-anon meeting,which I'm planning to do, but I like to know as much as possible about a situation before going in to it (go figure
) and since it seems like many of you have participated in Al-anon or similar meetings, I was wondering if anyone could help with these questions:1-I would have to leave a little bit early...the meeting ends at 1, and I have to leave about 12:50. Would that be a problem?
2-I don't think I'm going to feel like talking. I understand that this is ok, right?
3-There's a high probability that I'll see people I know...the meeting is practically on campus. This doesn't bother me, but I'm curious about etiquette. Is it appropriate to greet or sit next to a familiar face?
4-I am Jewish, and have no problem with the idea of talking about a higher power, but feel a little iffy about prayer that is from the Christian tradition. Would respectful silence be ok?
Thanks a ton!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by PoetryandHums 
Hello everyone!
I'm pretty much brand new here. I am 21, living at college and away from my alcoholic (and abusive) parents. I'm really just starting to sort through the ways that my identity and behavior has been affected by growing up around all that, and also dealing with my relationship to my family now, and the ways that I relate to 3rd party drinking (interestingly, there's a fair amount of that in college). My therapist suggested I check out an Al-anon meeting,which I'm planning to do, but I like to know as much as possible about a situation before going in to it (go figure ) and since it seems like many of you have participated in Al-anon or similar meetings, I was wondering if anyone could help with these questions:
1-I would have to leave a little bit early...the meeting ends at 1, and I have to leave about 12:50. Would that be a problem?
2-I don't think I'm going to feel like talking. I understand that this is ok, right?
3-There's a high probability that I'll see people I know...the meeting is practically on campus. This doesn't bother me, but I'm curious about etiquette. Is it appropriate to greet or sit next to a familiar face?
4-I am Jewish, and have no problem with the idea of talking about a higher power, but feel a little iffy about prayer that is from the Christian tradition. Would respectful silence be ok?
Thanks a ton!
I'm pretty much brand new here. I am 21, living at college and away from my alcoholic (and abusive) parents. I'm really just starting to sort through the ways that my identity and behavior has been affected by growing up around all that, and also dealing with my relationship to my family now, and the ways that I relate to 3rd party drinking (interestingly, there's a fair amount of that in college). My therapist suggested I check out an Al-anon meeting,which I'm planning to do, but I like to know as much as possible about a situation before going in to it (go figure
) and since it seems like many of you have participated in Al-anon or similar meetings, I was wondering if anyone could help with these questions:1-I would have to leave a little bit early...the meeting ends at 1, and I have to leave about 12:50. Would that be a problem?
2-I don't think I'm going to feel like talking. I understand that this is ok, right?
3-There's a high probability that I'll see people I know...the meeting is practically on campus. This doesn't bother me, but I'm curious about etiquette. Is it appropriate to greet or sit next to a familiar face?
4-I am Jewish, and have no problem with the idea of talking about a higher power, but feel a little iffy about prayer that is from the Christian tradition. Would respectful silence be ok?
Thanks a ton!
No. You could mention that-even if you weren't planning on talking-when it's your turn to speak.
Yes
Yes. But don't be surprised if you never meet anyone from the 'outside'.
Yes
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Welcome to SR. 
I've attended Al-Anon for many years. I highly recommend it as a safe place to share because beyond the anonymity factor, there are no judgements, criticism nor promotion of religion. You are free to just go listen if that is what you prefer. If possible it might be helpful to try a few beginner's meetings in order to learn more about how things are done.
I'm glad you found us here on SR.
I've attended Al-Anon for many years. I highly recommend it as a safe place to share because beyond the anonymity factor, there are no judgements, criticism nor promotion of religion. You are free to just go listen if that is what you prefer. If possible it might be helpful to try a few beginner's meetings in order to learn more about how things are done.
I'm glad you found us here on SR.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hi poetry--
I hope you find AlAnon helpful as I did-- it really helped me sort out my alcoholic family dynamic and gave me tools to deal with my brothers alcoholism that really saved my sanity.
A lot of your questions can be answered at the meeting - either you can share your concern or you can speak to someone before or after who is a "regular" and can help you with the etiquette, or feelings about religiosity etc.
It is always your choice whether to speak or not.
I've had to leave early also- just find a seat where your leaving will be the least disruptive and try to wait for a good moment to exit!
I found the old adage "take what you can use, and leave the rest" was my guide and I took every useful thing from that program and worked it until I had really turned my head around in the right direction!
Good luck-
and welcome here to SR - this is a great place too!
peace-
b
I hope you find AlAnon helpful as I did-- it really helped me sort out my alcoholic family dynamic and gave me tools to deal with my brothers alcoholism that really saved my sanity.
A lot of your questions can be answered at the meeting - either you can share your concern or you can speak to someone before or after who is a "regular" and can help you with the etiquette, or feelings about religiosity etc.
It is always your choice whether to speak or not.
I've had to leave early also- just find a seat where your leaving will be the least disruptive and try to wait for a good moment to exit!
I found the old adage "take what you can use, and leave the rest" was my guide and I took every useful thing from that program and worked it until I had really turned my head around in the right direction!
Good luck-
and welcome here to SR - this is a great place too!
peace-
b
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