Mis

I left my boyfriend 5 months ago. He is an addict. To prescription drugs, cocaine at times, weed, and who knows what else. I spent the better part of two years with him. And it was bad. I wanted to help him, but he only brought me down. I'm seven months pregnant by him now. I guess when I got pregnant and he had soon before that started to get physically abusive, thats when I decided enough is enough.

After being away from him for a while now ( I had to move and get an order of protection so he would leave me alone) I started to think why I ever ended up with him. And I know why. My mom has always been an addict. She has had many times of recovery but many times of falling and I think i didnt really start to confront that till in the last couple of years. Now I dont even want to talk to her because she is still having episodes.

I guess the bottom line is I know I cant go back to him and I know I'm lonely and I feel guilty about wanting to keep the baby away from his dad, but I'd feel even worse if the baby ever experienced a moment of the father's drug induced fury.

I'm in my late twenties and I had done really well with my life before and in the last year lost everything, but I am determined to rebuild. I'm dissapointed in myself for thinking I could be with an addict and not have been affected, but I am determined and slowly rebuilding my life.

I know this was a lot, but does anyone have any thoughts on this situation?

Impurrfect

(((Mis)))

Welcome to SR!

Good for you for removing yourself and your unborn child away from an abusive addict.

It sounds like you have dealt with addiction most of your life. Have you ever gone to al anon or nar anon meetings or seen a counselor? The reason I ask is not that something is wrong with YOU..it's that you could probably use a bit of f2f support.

There are some great people here, all who have loved ones who are addicts. It's a bit slow, this time of the night/morning, but others will be up and about soon.

Please take extra special care of you and that baby...you both deserve it!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

imallright

Oh, honey... good for you that you made the break and are a strong enough young woman to do the right thing for you and for that baby. You are one terrific Mom. Look for support from your friends, at a meeting, with your family. You are where you need to be.... safe. Trust that everything happens for a reason and you and that little one will be loved and protected. Stay safe and enjoy the pregnancy and the baby! Hugs to you.

hello-kitty

As a single mom who's baby's dad is a drug addict (off and on user now, but ALWAYS an addict - always unreliable, always selfish - an adult child at best), I can relate to your story and I am SO PROUD of you for doing the right thing.

Yes. You are doing the right thing. Don't second guess yourself. Do whatever you think is necessary to protect your child and yourself. Addicts should not be around children. The heart break & emotional damage they cause them is unforgiveable. You sound like you have personal experience with this due to your mother. I'm so glad you are stepping up.

Take it one day at a time for you and your son. And when things get tough, just know that everything will eventually work out for you. It just takes time.

This is a great website and you will find many women here who will share their great experiences, provide you with support and give you great hope for the future.

You are in charge now MIS. His addiction does not have to destroy your life or the life of your child.

Stick around!

gotahavfaith

Dear MIS

Please don't be disappointed with yourself! You have given you and your baby the greatest gift of all. You have stood up for yourself and your child.

When I had my child 24 years ago, my ex was an alcholic. Today he is a raging alcholic. Unfortunately, NOTHING has changed for him in any good way. I got out and have been married to a wonderful man who treated my daughter like his own for the last 20 years.

It was tough for a few years, but it was worth it. Just know that you have done the right thing for you and your child.

Gotahavfaith

rozied

I agree 100%. You have done the right thing for you & your baby. Stay strong it does get easier with time.

Mis

Thank you for responding. I like your quote from Joyce Meyer. Her teachings help me a lot. i have just in the last three or so months started reading and listening to her. Have a great day :o)

Serenity Bound

Mis, You certainly did the right thing. I'm very proud of you for putting yourself & your baby first. That is your priority.

Perhaps, as suggested, some f2f meetings would help you, especially since you grew up in an addicts world.

Hugs,
Chris

hello-kitty

I just had to laugh at my freudian slip - calling your baby a son. Do you know what the baby's sex is? You didn't put it in your post.

kj3880

You did the right thing, the only sensible thing to do in this situation. I've raised two children by myself. It isn't the easiest thing in the world, but it's a lot easier than living with a drug addict or alcoholic in active using phase. That I cannot do. You made the best of a hard situation. Now just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll be fine.

I think you need to go to Alanon or Naranon and work on the things that attract you to needy men so you can get some support and learn to avoid this in the future. When we've done it before, we're likely to do it again if we don't change!

Love,
KJ

Mis

Hi Hello Kitty,

You were right! It is a baby boy. He's due in June

hello-kitty

I love being the mom of a little boy. He is an absolute joy (most of the time haha). I'll never forget the first time my son told me he thought I was a princess. Your son is going to adore you. I'm glad that his father won't be around to disappoint him. It's hard but it's worth it. Congratulations. Keep us posted on how you are doing.

mooselips

Mis,
I am on the other side of the dilemma you have been facing. I am the mother of the addict who has had a baby with his GF, the aby is a month old. My son is now in prison, and I am praying that she finds a better way of life before he gets out.

I am proud of your decision to find a better life for you and your son.
Because, if you think of it, you deserve so much more, and so does the baby.


Hugs.....