First thread
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 64
First thread
Hey everyone,
First I just want to say thanks to everyone who posts to this site, you have no idea what a difference you all have made, even though I have mainly just been reading. I am on day 5 and its been a rough 5 days in more ways than one. I am living in a foreign country and am moving to another foreign country. With all the stress of sorting out packing, movers, tickets, visas - it has been a nightmare. The urge has been ridiculous in the evenings. But so far I have made it.
I think in a way though I was lucky that I sort of stumbled accross the first step by myself . I realisd on day 1 that it couldn't go in anymore, and that I could not control myself when it came to drinking. It was all or nothing. There was no "one, safe drink" for me. No sipping a sundowner after work. Once I got started it was an all or nothing policy. So I realised I would have to apply this same rule to drinking if I was ever going to get my life, my head, my heart and my soul in order. I was very lucky to find this site on that day. I think my HP had a helping hand in that. Now itis the next 11 steps I have to worry about...one at a time,one at a time.
The last few days have been awful though. I have had a headache like nothing I have ever felt, my eyeballs feel too big for my head, I feel like sleeping but my brain is on overdrive. I slept really well last night though, except with the most vivid dreams. I have also been very, very hungry, although with bits of nausea now and then. I don't know if this is all normal, it didn't happen the last couple of times I tried to quit.
This time I have a good feeling this is it. I am done with it. I really would rather live life sober than ever touch a drink, or any other substance again. I am worth more than this.
I think this site, and all you brave people out there will definately be a big part of this recovery process. I am looking forward to working out my issues, and reading and "listening" to what you all have to say. I have so many things to work though, it is crazy. I used to think that when I drank alone I was "thinking things through", but the last few days have shown me that I wasn't really thinking at all, I was just drinking. All those disjointed jumbled up thoughts, with some arbitrary emotion thrown in: anger, euphoria, hatred, melancholy, whatever the drink was throwing into the pot at that moment. It makes me sad if I think about it now.
I have so much I want to say, to get off my chest, but I shall leave this at that for now. Thank you all again and God bless.
Helene
First I just want to say thanks to everyone who posts to this site, you have no idea what a difference you all have made, even though I have mainly just been reading. I am on day 5 and its been a rough 5 days in more ways than one. I am living in a foreign country and am moving to another foreign country. With all the stress of sorting out packing, movers, tickets, visas - it has been a nightmare. The urge has been ridiculous in the evenings. But so far I have made it.
I think in a way though I was lucky that I sort of stumbled accross the first step by myself . I realisd on day 1 that it couldn't go in anymore, and that I could not control myself when it came to drinking. It was all or nothing. There was no "one, safe drink" for me. No sipping a sundowner after work. Once I got started it was an all or nothing policy. So I realised I would have to apply this same rule to drinking if I was ever going to get my life, my head, my heart and my soul in order. I was very lucky to find this site on that day. I think my HP had a helping hand in that. Now itis the next 11 steps I have to worry about...one at a time,one at a time.
The last few days have been awful though. I have had a headache like nothing I have ever felt, my eyeballs feel too big for my head, I feel like sleeping but my brain is on overdrive. I slept really well last night though, except with the most vivid dreams. I have also been very, very hungry, although with bits of nausea now and then. I don't know if this is all normal, it didn't happen the last couple of times I tried to quit.
This time I have a good feeling this is it. I am done with it. I really would rather live life sober than ever touch a drink, or any other substance again. I am worth more than this.
I think this site, and all you brave people out there will definately be a big part of this recovery process. I am looking forward to working out my issues, and reading and "listening" to what you all have to say. I have so many things to work though, it is crazy. I used to think that when I drank alone I was "thinking things through", but the last few days have shown me that I wasn't really thinking at all, I was just drinking. All those disjointed jumbled up thoughts, with some arbitrary emotion thrown in: anger, euphoria, hatred, melancholy, whatever the drink was throwing into the pot at that moment. It makes me sad if I think about it now.
I have so much I want to say, to get off my chest, but I shall leave this at that for now. Thank you all again and God bless.
Helene
Congrats on your decision to recover, it does get easier 
Focusing on today is probably the best way to go. Keep posting here, share your ESH... we all need each other.Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: north yorkshire, england
Posts: 1,891
Hi Helene it's so nice to see you post a bit of your story, what you are going through at the moment very much mirrors what i have been through (too many times 
).
Let's make this the last time for both of us and I look forward to sharing your recovery.
).Let's make this the last time for both of us and I look forward to sharing your recovery.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,755
Welcome to the family Helene! I'm glad you joined us. There is strength in numbers, we help keep each other clean and sober and that helps keep us clean and sober too. One day at a time is the only way to do this, since we have to live one day at a time, why not stay sober that way too.
Congrats on five sober days. The worst of the withdrawal is now behind you. All that's left is not picking up that first drink. I'm glad you found us!
Congrats on five sober days. The worst of the withdrawal is now behind you. All that's left is not picking up that first drink. I'm glad you found us!
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Lovely post Helene! Welcome! I could so relate to what you had to say - my drinking also escalated when I was in a foreign country and I SO often 'just' would get a bottle of wine (tunred into 2 on an empty stomach...) to THINK ! LOL! there was no thinking, just like you random out of proportion in my case thoughts - mostly negative. What a way to live I am SOO grateful to be sober. I hope you'll try AA it's a great way to make new friends esp in a new country AND its kept me sober and HAPPY which is a miracle when I look at where I've come from! It's simple - not easy - but very simple. We are very blessed to find recovery.
Good luck and well done!
Cathy31
x
Good luck and well done!
Cathy31
x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
Hi and Welcome,
I'm so glad you decided to post and good for you on your sobriety.
What you said about believing you were thinking things through, made me think of a statement Mary Tyler Moore wrote in her book. She said she would sit on her bed, cocktail in hand and leaf through all the latest magazines. One day she realized she was no longer living life, just looiking at pictures of people living life.
I'm so glad you decided to post and good for you on your sobriety.
What you said about believing you were thinking things through, made me think of a statement Mary Tyler Moore wrote in her book. She said she would sit on her bed, cocktail in hand and leaf through all the latest magazines. One day she realized she was no longer living life, just looiking at pictures of people living life.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Hi Helene. Congratulations on your decision to make a better life for yourself. I'm living proof it can be done. I found SR after 25 yrs. of heavy drinking. I was amazed to see so many living a happy life without alcohol. I was convinced I'd never laugh or feel carefree again. The truth is, I was a slave. I couldn't make a move without wondering where my next drink would come from, if I had enough stockpiled. I was in prison. The euphoric feelings were long gone, but it was so hard to see it back then. Please share more of your story when you can. Love, Joanie
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Congratulations on day 5 of a brand new life! It will get easier. Moving is always stressful but remind yourself that drinking will not make it any less so, if anything it will just delay getting things done and you'll feel a whole lot worse.
Judy
Judy
and welcome
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: San Francisco
Posts: 1
Congratulations
Recovery is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It has it's ups and down but it is far better than the madness of active addiction. I am coming up on my 10th anniversary. It wasn't easy to get this time. In fact it took me about five years to get my first 30 days, but I'm hard headed and don't take advice well nor do I like authority. I joined this site and like the "newcomer" threads because I have to remind myself of how it was when I first started the journey of recovery. I managed to stay sober/clean through cancer (when I was given a 20% chance to live) and have been given the opportunity to lead a great life. I own everything I have to recovery. When you feel overwhelmed (trust me, it happens) just take things ten minutes at a time. Sometimes, one day at a time is too hard to conceive so you do it in minutes. Do what you have to to stay clean/sober and the rest will work itself out. Thanks for sharing with us. You have given me the strength and inspiration to go on. Thank you!
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