Unresolved problems-Power plays-Conflict negotiation
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,054
Unresolved problems-Power plays-Conflict negotiation
Problems and conflicts are part of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work -- problem-solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.
Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.
Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.
Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.
Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.
Last night AH called son. He called him 2 nights in a row which is different because usually he doesn't call when he says he will. Well 1/2 way into thier conversation I hear through the phone a womans voice telling my son of a website or something. I could see son was clearly getting annoyed and kept saying "what, what, what." She had a scruffy rough voice. I wanted to grab the phone and hang it up, but I didn't. AH soon got back on the phone.
Now I know AH didn't put that woman on the phone to help son find a website, he put her on to hurt me (power play). I don't know who this woman is, but he has been court ordered to never take our son to his latest girlfriends home or around her. So I don't know if this is that woman or not that he put on the phone.
I worry that he is going to sneak son around this woman or any woman and possibly bribe son not to tell me. I don't trust any friends AH has.
What do I do? Do I say something to AH? It seems the more I ask AH to not do something, the more he will do it to get on my nerves.
NH7
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
My first thought was, why didn't you hang up the phone when you thought about doing it?
It was supposed to be the AH talking to son, no? You said your son was clearly getting annoyed, yet he was left to handle the situation on the phone. I don't know how old your son is, but you are the parent.
As for what he does when he has your son, you can't control that. However, in my opinion, you had every right to take the phone and hang it up when it was supposed to be AH talking to son and the woman got on the phone.
It was supposed to be the AH talking to son, no? You said your son was clearly getting annoyed, yet he was left to handle the situation on the phone. I don't know how old your son is, but you are the parent.
As for what he does when he has your son, you can't control that. However, in my opinion, you had every right to take the phone and hang it up when it was supposed to be AH talking to son and the woman got on the phone.
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I have to agree with Devon. This is your child. Next time, if there is one, just hang up the phone.
You might also want to start recording his calls as "SistersHelp" does when her sister calls the niece. Just a bit of 'ammunition' for "in case" another Court Hearing gets scheduled.
Of course, he is trying to 'get your goat' and irritate you. However, he is using a child to do it.
It is perfectly alright to go into MAMA LION MODE when it comes to your child.
Is your son alright? Did he get through that okay? I hope so.
I am sorry your A is still being an azz, but your recovery is shining!!!!!!
You go girl!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
You might also want to start recording his calls as "SistersHelp" does when her sister calls the niece. Just a bit of 'ammunition' for "in case" another Court Hearing gets scheduled.
Of course, he is trying to 'get your goat' and irritate you. However, he is using a child to do it.
It is perfectly alright to go into MAMA LION MODE when it comes to your child.
Is your son alright? Did he get through that okay? I hope so.
I am sorry your A is still being an azz, but your recovery is shining!!!!!!
You go girl!!!!!!!
Love and hugs,
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