My mum is now in hospital
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 4
My mum is now in hospital
Hey guys...joined up here a few years ago, didnt really post though. Was a great help reading everyone's posts at the time. Feeling really bad at the moment so thought I'd pop in here for a bit 
sorry if this post is a bit long lol.
My mum has been drinking an obscene amount everyday since last November. During this time, she has been arrested for drink driving and appeared in court for it. Also ringing me at work, telling me she had to get an abortion. It's all totally mindblowing.
I moved out to be closer to work about a month ago and since then she's been on a self destruct mission it seems. When I've been round the house, she's barely able to speak, and when she does she makes very little sense. She soils herself and lives in it, never washing or changing her clothes. The place is an absolute mess, with wine bottles and cider cans everywhere. She smokes a lot too and a much of the carpet is burnt.
She called for an ambulance early on Wednesday morning, and since then she's been kept in hospital. I've been in to visit her quite a lot, and shes completely out of it. She can barely speak and her skin is very yellow. They've got her on a drip to give her some nutrients but besides that, they cant do very much or tell me anything. Im terrified she's going to die, she's in an awful mess.
I have such an amazing relationship with my mum when she's sober, so it's so hard for me to see her like this. I miss her so much...
Anyway, not really sure why I'm posting this. Just feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks all
sorry if this post is a bit long lol.My mum has been drinking an obscene amount everyday since last November. During this time, she has been arrested for drink driving and appeared in court for it. Also ringing me at work, telling me she had to get an abortion. It's all totally mindblowing.
I moved out to be closer to work about a month ago and since then she's been on a self destruct mission it seems. When I've been round the house, she's barely able to speak, and when she does she makes very little sense. She soils herself and lives in it, never washing or changing her clothes. The place is an absolute mess, with wine bottles and cider cans everywhere. She smokes a lot too and a much of the carpet is burnt.
She called for an ambulance early on Wednesday morning, and since then she's been kept in hospital. I've been in to visit her quite a lot, and shes completely out of it. She can barely speak and her skin is very yellow. They've got her on a drip to give her some nutrients but besides that, they cant do very much or tell me anything. Im terrified she's going to die, she's in an awful mess.
I have such an amazing relationship with my mum when she's sober, so it's so hard for me to see her like this. I miss her so much...
Anyway, not really sure why I'm posting this. Just feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks all
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,863
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. If it's really as bad as you describe, it sounds like there may be more going on than just alcoholism. Being in the hospital could be the best thing for her at this point. I'll keep you and your mom in my prayers.
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Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 25
Because...
I agree with suki... being in the hospital is the best possible solution for your mom right now.
I hope you manage to find some peace through all of this and take care of yourself. Like you, my mom is an A and I have a strong suspicion that a hospitalization or even death is in her near future. I miss her like crazy and it feels weird saying that, but it's the truth. I feel as though she's already dead... she gave up a long time ago and it's so difficult to sit back and watch it happen and not be able to do a thing about it. I'm not trying to be morbid, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. We're here for you. I will pray with all my might for someone to watch over you and confort you during this difficult time.
((BIG HUGS)) Keep us posted on how you're both doing... I'll be checking in on you often.
I agree with suki... being in the hospital is the best possible solution for your mom right now.
I hope you manage to find some peace through all of this and take care of yourself. Like you, my mom is an A and I have a strong suspicion that a hospitalization or even death is in her near future. I miss her like crazy and it feels weird saying that, but it's the truth. I feel as though she's already dead... she gave up a long time ago and it's so difficult to sit back and watch it happen and not be able to do a thing about it. I'm not trying to be morbid, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. We're here for you. I will pray with all my might for someone to watch over you and confort you during this difficult time.
((BIG HUGS)) Keep us posted on how you're both doing... I'll be checking in on you often.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 113
Is this a recent thing, the drinking, or has it being going on for a while?
I wondered how old she is and if other medical factors might come into play, such as depression or other mental illness.
Do you believe she had a termination as your post seems to imply you are not sure? Do you think this may have triggered the drinking episodes.
I agree though, hospital is the best place. They can pump her full of fluids and B vitamins that may help her on the way.
I have nor experienced the states you mum has got herself into, but near to that. It must be so distressing for you, so hard to see. Does she have any friends she can confide in apart from you? More importantly have you got a good support network?
Please post more so that we can all try to help.
xxxx
I wondered how old she is and if other medical factors might come into play, such as depression or other mental illness.
Do you believe she had a termination as your post seems to imply you are not sure? Do you think this may have triggered the drinking episodes.
I agree though, hospital is the best place. They can pump her full of fluids and B vitamins that may help her on the way.
I have nor experienced the states you mum has got herself into, but near to that. It must be so distressing for you, so hard to see. Does she have any friends she can confide in apart from you? More importantly have you got a good support network?
Please post more so that we can all try to help.
xxxx
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 113
I also forgot to add, she seems to be pressuring you at work with phone calls and added worry. Is there anyone you can confide in, maybe in HR or your boss, so they understand the strain and worry you are under. It might mean you can get away and take a call in private.
B
xxxx
B
xxxx
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 4
Thank you for your posts everyone...it means a lot to me.
My Mum is 46. She's always had a problem with drink, when I was younger I remember finding wine in coffee cups etc. and having to pick my sister up from school because she was too drunk to do it herself. But it got a lot worse when it turned out my Dad had been having an affair and they then split up. She wasnt able to work etc because she was constantly drinking. This went on for about 2 years...she would binge for a few weeks then be sober for two. Some awful things happened during that time - she tried overdosing a few times.
But then she found AA and did really well... she'd been sober for more than 2 years when she started drinking again last november. I'm not sure exactly what triggered her drinking again...she broke up with her boyfriend who was also a recovering alcoholic. He put her through alot. But she seemed to deal with it well.
She tried online dating and went for a meal with a man, when she came back home she was drunk. She's never told me why she started drinking again, maybe she thought she could just have the one and stop at that. Since then her drinking has spiraled out of control, she's lost her job and is pushing everyone away from her.
I'm really not sure what to think about the abortion she told me about. I dont think she's telling the truth, but at the same time its such a horrible lie to tell and why she would lie about it I dont know...but im not sure how her mind is working right now anyway.
People at work are very good and understanding about my situation...so thats a big help. I've got support from my sister, (she's 18, im 20 by the way) my grandparents (although they're in america) my boyfriend and my father.
Thanks again
My Mum is 46. She's always had a problem with drink, when I was younger I remember finding wine in coffee cups etc. and having to pick my sister up from school because she was too drunk to do it herself. But it got a lot worse when it turned out my Dad had been having an affair and they then split up. She wasnt able to work etc because she was constantly drinking. This went on for about 2 years...she would binge for a few weeks then be sober for two. Some awful things happened during that time - she tried overdosing a few times.
But then she found AA and did really well... she'd been sober for more than 2 years when she started drinking again last november. I'm not sure exactly what triggered her drinking again...she broke up with her boyfriend who was also a recovering alcoholic. He put her through alot. But she seemed to deal with it well.
She tried online dating and went for a meal with a man, when she came back home she was drunk. She's never told me why she started drinking again, maybe she thought she could just have the one and stop at that. Since then her drinking has spiraled out of control, she's lost her job and is pushing everyone away from her.
I'm really not sure what to think about the abortion she told me about. I dont think she's telling the truth, but at the same time its such a horrible lie to tell and why she would lie about it I dont know...but im not sure how her mind is working right now anyway.
People at work are very good and understanding about my situation...so thats a big help. I've got support from my sister, (she's 18, im 20 by the way) my grandparents (although they're in america) my boyfriend and my father.
Thanks again
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I'm so sorry. The fact that she was in AA and managed to stay sober for a period of time means she knows where the help is. We've had 4 out of our small AA group go back out and drink recently, and it's just heartbreaking.
Please know that I will keep you and your mom in my prayers! :ghug :ghug
Please know that I will keep you and your mom in my prayers! :ghug :ghug
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Because,
Alcoholism is such a heartbreaking thing.
I remember the torn feeling I had whenever my sister was in the hospital (it happened repeatedly.....she was just like your mom, only in her fifties)
I was so sad and frustrated that she would allow herself to that point.
But I was also relieved that she was among people who could medically take care of her - she was safe and warm and well-fed, for once.
No advice, just sending hugs to you. She is making her own choices, and you have to let her do that.....but that doesn't make it hurt any less to watch :ghug3
Alcoholism is such a heartbreaking thing.
I remember the torn feeling I had whenever my sister was in the hospital (it happened repeatedly.....she was just like your mom, only in her fifties)
I was so sad and frustrated that she would allow herself to that point.
But I was also relieved that she was among people who could medically take care of her - she was safe and warm and well-fed, for once.
No advice, just sending hugs to you. She is making her own choices, and you have to let her do that.....but that doesn't make it hurt any less to watch :ghug3
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