ViciousCycle

These are the moments.......the ones that still get my goat. This Saturday is my best friend's birthday. Her husband called and said he was having a party for her this weekend......I called him back and told him I had prior commitments. This caused a parade of emotions ranging from guilt, anger, frustration, etc....
I know what the party will entail and I won't be comfortable being there. I know in my heart I did the right thing, but it still stings......that's the anti-social aspect I still struggle with sometimes.

I do realize there are many things out there that are fun and not alcohol-related, but it's times like these....the personal ones........that still hit a nerve.

Thanks for listening.

Jomey

Hey, I remember feeling that way also...just remember, it won't last forever...keep reminding yourself that if you keep working day by day on your recovery, there is a very good chance that you will be ready for your friend's birthday party next year....and you will be over a year sober, healthy, happy and ready to have a good time without alcohol!

Do something fun and safe for your sobriety during the time of the party as a little treat for making a tough yet wise decision, maybe?

Jomey

ViciousCycle

I have a hair appt. WOO HOO......boy I know how to live on the edge! LOL.

Thanks Jomey......

KenL

I like what Jomey said VC. It was a wise decision to make. You hurt about it but you could be hurting more on Sunday morning if you were to succumb to drinking. So I think doing something for yourself is a really great idea. I'm glad you posted this now and got it out so you could get some support and understanding.

Aysha

Glad you made a good decision.
It isnt easy. Especially with personal things like that.
But you did it and it took alot of courag to do.
Keep doing the right thing.
It will get better.

Jomey

Hey...a hair appointment for yourself is a big deal in my world, too!!! LOL I'm livin on the edge when I take my daughter to get a hair cut!!! LOL Glad you've got your sense of humor - you'll be fine!!!

~ J

Anna

You made a good choice!

flutter

You made the best decision for YOU, and right now, that's the most important thing. I'm proud of you, I know how hard, and then how frustrating those decisions can be. Sometimes when I have to turn down plans to take care of my sobriety, I feel like throwing a temper tantrum like 2 year old.. "NOT FAIR! WHY ME!" etc.. but luckily I only picture that in my head, and then I get over it

Fubarcdn

I don't have much to add except to say that I think you are probably doing the right thing and after the day has passed you will be thankful for it.
I went to a party the first month of being sober and it wasn't much fun so you may not be missing much.
Good luck.

Tazman53

You have done well.

A huge part of recovery is making decisions for our own good that we are not real comfortable with.

It does get better, once I was pretty much through the steps I was able to go any place I had a reason or purpose for being there. I have been to wedding receptions, gatherings where there was alcohol, heck the first pro football game I went to they had an open bar! Funny thing, I was not even tempted.

But the things I mentioned above I would not have done in early sobriety. You made a wise move today for your future.

gravity

Maybe take your friend out for a birthday lunch on Sunday or Monday? Nothing anti-social about that!

BTW, from my experience getting hammered, blacking out, making myself sick, and behaving like a fool is vastly over-rated!

I'd sooner get my hair done and I'm a guy!

shorty51

Well said gravity. Im male and also would prefer to get a hair cut over drinking as well.

But why stop at a hair cut VC?
Treat yourself! Your going great!

ToABetterMe

Oh you made the right choice. And your friend will totally understand.
If Im home that night we can chat

tanyapmc

I remember how difficult decisions like that were at the beginning of my sobriety. It does and will get better. I now am able to go wherever I choose to go. Alcohol is no longer the problem. But in the beginning I had to stay away from places with alcohol (and from the pharmacy!)

You made the right decision. Hopefully your friend will understand. If not, it is their problem, not yours!

prettypoison

I'm with everyone on this too -- you made the right choice. I recently cancelled some plans myself because the get together was at a club and I know I'm not ready for that kind of temptation right now, I promised to make it up to them at a later time. Just think, you'll feel great and your hair will look fabulous!!

mikefreak

I'm sure that your friend understands. This isn"t the time to be taking chances. This time next year, MAYBE. but you wouldn't be ready now. Guess that's the first cold spash of reality in sobreity-when your friend's throw a party & you know better than to go. Me? I don't really have that problem anymore at my age- 90% of my former playmates ARE DEAD. the other 10% wised up........"

ViciousCycle

Thanks everyone......I needed the encouragement today.

HUGS.

sailorjohn

If the party entails excessive drinking I wouldn't characterize not attending as being anti-social.

Someone once mentioned to me that more people don't drink than do, probably true if you take the population of the world as a whole into consideration. I think as alcoholics, we tend to surround ourselves with heavy drinkers at best, and this tends to color our perceptions about what is 'normal'.

NewBeginning010

When some friends recently invited me to a booze fest I let them know that I would like to go out for a nice dinner together on another night.

Next week we had a wonderful dinner & I had my sparkling spring water & a beautiful seafood dinner. We had a chance to talk about life & tell some of the stories of our lives in an intimate setting. Something that could not have happened in a crowded party setting.

Take care & all of the best in your recovery.

Sincerely,

NB

mikefreak

Your'e absolutely right! Even when I WAS drinking, I never did like being around a bunch of people I didn't even know. a one-on-one setting is GREAT for nuturing a friendship.........