Esposa2001

Hello -
I am the wife of an addict (mainly narcotics, but alcohol is a problem too). His Vicodin/Percocet use has not been continual, but are getting more frequent. This past episode started in the beginning of January and I was completely unaware - which is hard to do because I am like a detective! Anyway, when the doctors stopped prescribing, he even attempted to go through withdrawl alone. But, before withdrawl could begin, he was prescribed lorazapram (sp?). He took 57 pills in less than 48hrs - and that's how I found out. He was almost unconscious and I drove him to the hospital. So, it all came out in the open. He went out of his way this time to make sure I didn't find out. Like, I said, there has been a problem for years and I don't think I can take it anymore. We have 3 kids, and I only went back to work part time about 4 months ago, so I am also financially dependent on him. He is very remorseful, as he always is, but I told him that I am leaving. When? is up in the air - but I am done. The realization that he will lose his family seems to be taking a toll on him - and for the good. But how do I know? What will really make it different this time? It's only been 6 days since the overdose. What about 2 weeks from now? 2 months from now? These are the questions that are consuming me. I love him and want to help him get better, but at the same time, I want out because I am sick of dealing with this. My two younger children (7 & 4 1/2) don't really understand what or that anything is happening. My older son, 14, is aware and I have been completely honest with him - because I have to. My husbands family is aware of this and the most recent incident - he hold them himself. We also went to an NA meeting on Monday and he went again last night. He says he is committed to going everyday - 90 meetings in 90 days to start.
So, in a nut shell - this is my situation. I don't know exactly what I am expecting from these forums. But I guess I'll take any help or support I can get. Thanks for "listening".

Freedom1990

Welcome to SR! Is there Naranon or Alanon available in your area? Those programs are available for loved ones. For me, I had to have my own program of recovery as a loved one, to learn how to focus on myself and what I needed to do to make my life better in spite of what the addict was doing.

I know it's a difficult situation, not knowing if the addict is truly serious about recovery or not.

My 31 year old daughter is an addict/alcoholic and has decided she doesn't have a problem, and therefore doesn't need recovery.

In spite of the poor choices she continues to make in her life, I have learned to live my own life, and am reasonably happy, have lots of things to do (including college classes), and am grateful for the blessings in my life today.

Please keep posting and sharing with us! :ghug :ghug

JMFburns

Esposa,

Welcome to SR. There are many here that are more familiar with dealing with a spouse who is an addict. They will be able to offer a great deal of their experience, strength and hope. Keep posting, reading and reaching out. That is the best way for you to determine what YOU want to do with your life, what YOU can/cannot live with and work on YOURSELF.

Serenity Bound

Esposa, Welcome to SR! If there are ala-non/nara-non meetings in your area, I would strongly suggest to check them out. These programs are for YOU. There is also ala-teen...which could benefit your 14yo son.

Whether you leave or not, is certainly YOUR choice.
Whether he stays clean is HIS choice.

Learn the 3 'c
1. you didn't cause it
2. you can't control it
3. you can't cure it

Your right when you say he is remorseful, however its only been 6 days. 90 meetings in 90 days is a very good start. IMO actions speak louder than words.

Keep sharing, posting & reading the other posts.

Hugs,
Chris

NeedingHelp7

Hello Espousa,
I'm the wife of an NA also, opiates (percocet/vicodin) his DOC right now, w/ periodic zanax, and periodic relapses to crack. So I pretty much understand it's difficult when you have all the pain his addiction is causing and 3 children to care for through this. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting. Take it easy on yourself. Keep a slight distance (try to detach emotionally) while he is detoxing. You are going to see multitudes of mood swings. Keep reading. Keep posting. We are here for you. Huggs.

NH7

Esposa2001

Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. I consider myself a strong person. I can and will make it through this one way or another, for me and for my kids. It's just really sucks! I also feel really bad for my husband; he is really a great guy. He is at an NA meeting now, his 3rd in 4 days (he can't go when he is at work as he works 24 hour shifts), so this is a step in the right direction.

I checked and there are no easily accessible naranon meetings for me to attend - only two in the state that I could find. So, I will continue to use this site for support and to "talk", and take things day by day.

Thanks again & have a great night.

Serenity Bound

Did you check for Alanon also? There's usually an abundance of those.

Hugs,
Chris

hope213

welcome to S.R. i am glad you found us. it sounds as if your husband has taken the 1st step. set boundries & enforce them. i hope he makes it. meeting & prayers work miracles. you & your kids deserve better. find a meeting for yourself & keep coming back.prayer,