My introduction......
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Bristol, CT.
Posts: 2
My introduction......
Hi All.......This being my first post. I figure an intro is a good thing. While not new to recovery(Sober date 12-10-1989), I have many questions that baffle me. I have been going to AA on and off for about 25yrs. Usually ODAP creeps in and I get scared and go back. I have no desire to drink or drug for that matter but, I don't understand why after going back to AA. I generally stop going once I feel better. While the people I have come to know start to worry about me and call. I get to the point where I wish they would just leave me alone. I have no desire to drink and the worst thing going on in my life is I've been unemployed for a year now. I look at things with a level head and while unemployed I know life could be worse. Is it okay to stop going to meetings once I feel better? If I ask this question in an AA meeting the answer would be a resounding "NO". I'm not one to pick up or get negative because I'm not attending meetings. That's a start...looking forward learning and hopefully I can help someone one day.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
If you're doing fine without meetings I don't see a need to go. But it's your choice to go or not. I can also understand just wanting to be 'left alone' and as long as you're not 'isolating' I don't see much harm in it. But that's my opinion, nothing more, cause I don't 'know you'. If you have no desire to drink or use I'd say you're doing very well.
I'm glad you found us and joined the family. THis is a great place for support and understanding so please keep coming back. :ghug3
PS, what's ODAP??
I'm glad you found us and joined the family. THis is a great place for support and understanding so please keep coming back. :ghug3
PS, what's ODAP??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Bristol, CT.
Posts: 2
Thanks for the welcome. I don't actually have 20 yrs, that will be in Dec.. I like to keep it in today anyway. I struggled to get my first year and that is the chip I carry in my pocket. I remember that struggle like it was yesterday. Once I realized that all I had to do was not drink today, it got so much easier.
Our
Devilish
Alcoholic
Personalities
Is a book put out by Hazelden...The author is the same one that wrote The Little Red Book. Great book and useful tools to keep handy when one starts to think they are cured.
Our
Devilish
Alcoholic
Personalities
Is a book put out by Hazelden...The author is the same one that wrote The Little Red Book. Great book and useful tools to keep handy when one starts to think they are cured.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
Sounds like not going to meetings has worked just fine for you. I went to AA during the first 2 months of my sobriety (19 months today!!) and haven't felt any need to go back but I've said from the beginning that if I get any kind of craving for a drink or have to deal with too much stress then I'd go to a meeting. I don't believe in "one size fits all" we all have different needs. My father was a raging alcoholic for over 40 years and he quit drinking 25 yrs ago and never went to an AA meeting he just quit and he is a healthy 86 yr old.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
hi fello nutmeger!
dickson, for me, with only six years of attending meetings, they, as on here help keep it green, and not let that old euphoric recall creep in...
another thing, the long winded people, help me with tollerance!
and also, to meet newcomers, as the 12 step asks of us, we have to give that hope back!
keeps the spiritual conection going too...
and show, one can live a good life living clean and sober...
no, i dont think someday i can drink like a gentlemen, i never did!
dickson, for me, with only six years of attending meetings, they, as on here help keep it green, and not let that old euphoric recall creep in...
another thing, the long winded people, help me with tollerance!
and also, to meet newcomers, as the 12 step asks of us, we have to give that hope back!
keeps the spiritual conection going too...
and show, one can live a good life living clean and sober...
no, i dont think someday i can drink like a gentlemen, i never did!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hi and Welcome,
If you're happy with what yu're doing and it's working for you, that's great.
Congratulations on your sobriety!
SR is a great place to visit, so I hope you continue to post.
If you're happy with what yu're doing and it's working for you, that's great.
Congratulations on your sobriety!
SR is a great place to visit, so I hope you continue to post.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
There is a great reason to go to AA that everyone is missing - to help the newcomer. It is great that you don't need meetings to keep yourself sober, but it is our responsibility to be there for the newcomer, just like someone was there for us.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I think do what works best for you. I don't participate in AA, and I do fine without meetings, I appreciate you coming here to ask about it, because it's such a diverse group so you will get responses from people in AA, and people that use other programs, or a modified program of their own, or none. I personally didn't want to replace one dependency with another, and that's why I do what I feel works best for me, and so far it's wonderful. I hope you find the way that is best for you, and that you feel less conflicted about the path you choose 
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I dont go to meetings. So I dont have any thoughts on that.
Your clean time is phenominal. And I think it takes alot of self awareness and courage to recognize when you need support. Before something goes wrong.
Especially after so much time sober.
Glad you are here. Keep posting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Dickson,
My sobriety date is only 3rd August 2007 but I have learnt a lot about the program so far. I am in a big book study meeting that originated in Dallas in the 80s. Hopefully, I can give some informed input for you to consider.
Our group goes by the simple clear cut directions that were left to us by our founders. We recover. We are recovered. We do not spend the rest of our lives in recovery. How do I know? The promises in the book have come true for me. The drink problem has gone.
No action steps in our program tell us to go to meetings. We recover by the steps we take and not the meetings we make. Our higher power and our book is all we need. In early days, there were no meetings and yet our recovery rate was higher than it is now. We can go anywhere on this Earth and never attend another meeting and we will be fine if we practice our program and continue to grow spiriutally.
Fellowship is a different thing altogether. We are told that our fellowship grows up around us as we practice step 12. Here we are advised to seek out the still suffering alcoholic. We are not advised to sit and wait for them to come to us by going to meetings. In fact, in some meetings, the message we hear can be downright dangerous but I will leave that for another post.
Have another look at Chapter 7. Are you doing what we were directed to do? If you are not working on Steps 10, 11 and 12 daily then in the experience of our founders, you may be underestimating your powerlessness (Step 1) and if you are an alcoholic, your alcoholic mind will return and you will start to think about drinking again.
Remember we are dealing with alcohol. Cunning baffling powerful. It is a subtle foe and the maintenance of our spiritual condition is vital to staying recovered.
Stay on the broad highway my friend.
My sobriety date is only 3rd August 2007 but I have learnt a lot about the program so far. I am in a big book study meeting that originated in Dallas in the 80s. Hopefully, I can give some informed input for you to consider.
Our group goes by the simple clear cut directions that were left to us by our founders. We recover. We are recovered. We do not spend the rest of our lives in recovery. How do I know? The promises in the book have come true for me. The drink problem has gone.
No action steps in our program tell us to go to meetings. We recover by the steps we take and not the meetings we make. Our higher power and our book is all we need. In early days, there were no meetings and yet our recovery rate was higher than it is now. We can go anywhere on this Earth and never attend another meeting and we will be fine if we practice our program and continue to grow spiriutally.
Fellowship is a different thing altogether. We are told that our fellowship grows up around us as we practice step 12. Here we are advised to seek out the still suffering alcoholic. We are not advised to sit and wait for them to come to us by going to meetings. In fact, in some meetings, the message we hear can be downright dangerous but I will leave that for another post.
Have another look at Chapter 7. Are you doing what we were directed to do? If you are not working on Steps 10, 11 and 12 daily then in the experience of our founders, you may be underestimating your powerlessness (Step 1) and if you are an alcoholic, your alcoholic mind will return and you will start to think about drinking again.
Remember we are dealing with alcohol. Cunning baffling powerful. It is a subtle foe and the maintenance of our spiritual condition is vital to staying recovered.
Stay on the broad highway my friend.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Welcome Dickson
I'm not in AA, so mine will be the (I hope) common sense outsider's view...whatever you've been doing for the last 20 years seems to be working...
If going to AA on and off has been your pattern throughout that 20 years, and you want to stop again, then stop.
Just make sure it's for the right reasons - if you personally really think your.... what was it? ODAP?.... has a part to play here, then make sure you're not playing into 'its' hands by turning away.
Congrats on your nearly 20 years anyway, Dickson.
(congrats to you Steph - 18 months now? Doesn't seem that long)
D
I'm not in AA, so mine will be the (I hope) common sense outsider's view...whatever you've been doing for the last 20 years seems to be working...
If going to AA on and off has been your pattern throughout that 20 years, and you want to stop again, then stop.
Just make sure it's for the right reasons - if you personally really think your.... what was it? ODAP?.... has a part to play here, then make sure you're not playing into 'its' hands by turning away.
Congrats on your nearly 20 years anyway, Dickson.
(congrats to you Steph - 18 months now? Doesn't seem that long
)D
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by Dickson 
Hi All.......This being my first post. I figure an intro is a good thing. While not new to recovery(Sober date 12-10-1989), I have many questions that baffle me. I have been going to AA on and off for about 25yrs.
Is it okay to stop going to meetings once I feel better? If I ask this question in an AA meeting the answer would be a resounding "NO". I'm not one to pick up or get negative because I'm not attending meetings. That's a start...looking forward learning and hopefully I can help someone one day.
Is it okay to stop going to meetings once I feel better? If I ask this question in an AA meeting the answer would be a resounding "NO". I'm not one to pick up or get negative because I'm not attending meetings. That's a start...looking forward learning and hopefully I can help someone one day.
Congrats on your sobriety!
i've been in and out of AA since 1981 and always been sober no slips or whatever, so i totally relate.... except for your questions.
it's just why are you asking if its okay to stop going to meetings once you feel better if you've already got 19+ years of experiencing that it's obviously alright?
i dunno... i'm not getting the "real idea" of your question. Help me out here please.
the short answer is : yeah its okay
i know its your first few postings so thats okay man.... life is sweeet! Welcome to SR !!
Robby
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Awesome!
Originally Posted by Pilgrim
Hi Dickson,
My sobriety date is only 3rd August 2007 but I have learnt a lot about the program so far. I am in a big book study meeting that originated in Dallas in the 80s. Hopefully, I can give some informed input for you to consider.
Fellowship is a different thing altogether. We are told that our fellowship grows up around us as we practice step 12. Here we are advised to seek out the still suffering alcoholic. We are not advised to sit and wait for them to come to us by going to meetings. In fact, in some meetings, the message we hear can be downright dangerous but I will leave that for another post.
Remember we are dealing with alcohol. Cunning baffling powerful. It is a subtle foe and the maintenance of our spiritual condition is vital to staying recovered.
My sobriety date is only 3rd August 2007 but I have learnt a lot about the program so far. I am in a big book study meeting that originated in Dallas in the 80s. Hopefully, I can give some informed input for you to consider.
Fellowship is a different thing altogether. We are told that our fellowship grows up around us as we practice step 12. Here we are advised to seek out the still suffering alcoholic. We are not advised to sit and wait for them to come to us by going to meetings. In fact, in some meetings, the message we hear can be downright dangerous but I will leave that for another post.
Remember we are dealing with alcohol. Cunning baffling powerful. It is a subtle foe and the maintenance of our spiritual condition is vital to staying recovered.
Awesome right stuff you got, Pilgrim !! You totally walk the talk!! Yay!!
Rock On!!
Robby
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
First off Dickson congrats on almost 20 years. I have no where near the time you do sober, but my sobriety is pretty darn solid & I am certain I could keep working my program without going to meetings. Right now I feel a need to give back freely to the newcomers what was so freely given to me, so I enjoy the meetings.
We have several old timers in my area that come and go, some of them feel a need to get back into the rooms a while to give back to the newcomers and then take another break from meetings, with others they share it is because they feel that stinking thinking start to work on them again.
I am sure there are those to who get sober, stop going to meetings and never come back. Heck Dr. Bob speaks of a lady who got sober in AA and simply moved on. What ever works for you or anyone else. if you are doing good and do not feel like going to meetings, just tell any one who calls exactly that.
I have a feeling there are some folks in every area of AA that thinks the second some one quits coming to meetings they are going to get drunk, but I feel most of us are very aware that someone working a solid program can stop coming to meetings and stay happy and sober. Oh yea and they still can carry the message.
Think about it, you have close to 20 years sober thanks to the Program of AA, meetings I am sure have helped, but with 20 years I am sure you know that the cornerstone to good solid sobriety is not the meetings, but it is in the program.
I am sitting here waiting for that rare AA beast to show up that is going to say "Oh you are going to get drunk if you do not go to meetings!" The beast may show up, but they are pretty darn rare in my area anyhow.
We have several old timers in my area that come and go, some of them feel a need to get back into the rooms a while to give back to the newcomers and then take another break from meetings, with others they share it is because they feel that stinking thinking start to work on them again.
I am sure there are those to who get sober, stop going to meetings and never come back. Heck Dr. Bob speaks of a lady who got sober in AA and simply moved on. What ever works for you or anyone else. if you are doing good and do not feel like going to meetings, just tell any one who calls exactly that.
I have a feeling there are some folks in every area of AA that thinks the second some one quits coming to meetings they are going to get drunk, but I feel most of us are very aware that someone working a solid program can stop coming to meetings and stay happy and sober. Oh yea and they still can carry the message.
Think about it, you have close to 20 years sober thanks to the Program of AA, meetings I am sure have helped, but with 20 years I am sure you know that the cornerstone to good solid sobriety is not the meetings, but it is in the program.
I am sitting here waiting for that rare AA beast to show up that is going to say "Oh you are going to get drunk if you do not go to meetings!" The beast may show up, but they are pretty darn rare in my area anyhow.
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