My first post and an introduction
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 42
My first post and an introduction
I've been reading this forum everyday for ages, and now that I have finally decided enough is enough, I figured I would come out of the shadows and introduce myself.
I'm a professional married female in my 30s. I come from a great home and have had what seems like a great life. I am pretty healthy, happy and successful, except for basically almost killing myself every month or so with a huge drinking binge. Yeah, that's the one little black spot. And it puts everything else at stake.
I have been problem drinking in different forms for 10 years. When I lived alone, it was a few glasses of wine every night to take the edge off the day. That of course escalated and a few years after that it was hidden shots of vodka throughout the night (once I got a roommate and then a fiance). I have no idea how much I was drinking at that time, and it didn't seem to be causing a lot of problems in my life, but I knew it was becoming a problem. I was hiding it, for one. I also found myself counting drinks and trying to pace myself, often unsuccessfully. If my roommate was out and I drank a lot I would put two wineglasses in the sink and lie and say a friend had been over. Another friend I used to meet Sunday mornings for breakfast said very bluntly "Oh my god, you've got the shakes". I blamed it on medication. I started to drink a shot or two occasionally in the morning, or in the bathroom at work... you get the idea. It eventually became pretty unmanageable and at some point it switched to binge drinking.
I am now at the point where I go a month or two drinking nothing, or "normally" as it were - stop after a glass or two with friends no problem - and then WHAM! A 3-5 day all out non-stop drink anything I can get (even mouthwash) binge. No food. No water. Blowing off all obligations. Putting myself in serious danger. Neglecting myself, my pets, my loved ones. I become a completely different person. I can't point to what triggers it. AT ALL. That is so frustrating. It's just this overwhelming urge to check out and punish myself for a week. Intellectually I can see that this is absolutely crazy, but in the moment it makes complete and utter sense.
I've had lots of what should have been bottoms, but I'm a stubborn one I guess. This last binge was the worst by far and I am finally ready to stop making excuses and to stop doing it on my own. I've been building up to this for a long time. I am seeking support here as well as treatment in my community. I detoxed with assistance from my doctor and feel just fine today.
A disclaimer: I have tried AA and it was not right for me. I'm not ruling it out, and not bashing it at all, I just want to put it out there so that all the responses don't recommend I go to a meeting.
That's not an option I am ready to revisit at this point, but I have the utmost respect for all of you that have found what you need through that program.
I have read other recovery forums and I am so amazed by the outpouring of support and friendship here. I think it's time I start to be a part of it too, as I know it will help my recovery immensely.
I sometimes find it hard to identify with the daily cravings and urges, because I honestly don't have them, and I have been using that as an excuse for too long. Am I an alcoholic? As all you wise people would say, only I can answer that. Maybe not a typical one, but when I drink, the way I drink, could kill me. I think that's really all that matters.
I should also put it out there that I still struggle with why I usually drink normally, and haven't stopped wondering if it's possible to get to the root of the binges and just eliminate those. Red flag for many I am certain, but I want to be completely honest here at SR.
Thanks for listening.
Jayne
I'm a professional married female in my 30s. I come from a great home and have had what seems like a great life. I am pretty healthy, happy and successful, except for basically almost killing myself every month or so with a huge drinking binge. Yeah, that's the one little black spot. And it puts everything else at stake.
I have been problem drinking in different forms for 10 years. When I lived alone, it was a few glasses of wine every night to take the edge off the day. That of course escalated and a few years after that it was hidden shots of vodka throughout the night (once I got a roommate and then a fiance). I have no idea how much I was drinking at that time, and it didn't seem to be causing a lot of problems in my life, but I knew it was becoming a problem. I was hiding it, for one. I also found myself counting drinks and trying to pace myself, often unsuccessfully. If my roommate was out and I drank a lot I would put two wineglasses in the sink and lie and say a friend had been over. Another friend I used to meet Sunday mornings for breakfast said very bluntly "Oh my god, you've got the shakes". I blamed it on medication. I started to drink a shot or two occasionally in the morning, or in the bathroom at work... you get the idea. It eventually became pretty unmanageable and at some point it switched to binge drinking.
I am now at the point where I go a month or two drinking nothing, or "normally" as it were - stop after a glass or two with friends no problem - and then WHAM! A 3-5 day all out non-stop drink anything I can get (even mouthwash) binge. No food. No water. Blowing off all obligations. Putting myself in serious danger. Neglecting myself, my pets, my loved ones. I become a completely different person. I can't point to what triggers it. AT ALL. That is so frustrating. It's just this overwhelming urge to check out and punish myself for a week. Intellectually I can see that this is absolutely crazy, but in the moment it makes complete and utter sense.
I've had lots of what should have been bottoms, but I'm a stubborn one I guess. This last binge was the worst by far and I am finally ready to stop making excuses and to stop doing it on my own. I've been building up to this for a long time. I am seeking support here as well as treatment in my community. I detoxed with assistance from my doctor and feel just fine today.
A disclaimer: I have tried AA and it was not right for me. I'm not ruling it out, and not bashing it at all, I just want to put it out there so that all the responses don't recommend I go to a meeting.
That's not an option I am ready to revisit at this point, but I have the utmost respect for all of you that have found what you need through that program.I have read other recovery forums and I am so amazed by the outpouring of support and friendship here. I think it's time I start to be a part of it too, as I know it will help my recovery immensely.
I sometimes find it hard to identify with the daily cravings and urges, because I honestly don't have them, and I have been using that as an excuse for too long. Am I an alcoholic? As all you wise people would say, only I can answer that. Maybe not a typical one, but when I drink, the way I drink, could kill me. I think that's really all that matters.
I should also put it out there that I still struggle with why I usually drink normally, and haven't stopped wondering if it's possible to get to the root of the binges and just eliminate those. Red flag for many I am certain, but I want to be completely honest here at SR.
Thanks for listening.
Jayne
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,746
If you can drink 'normally' most of the time but still have horrible binges, I think I'd want to stop drinking completely to avoid the binging. That's just my opinion. If you want to stop drinking altogether you'll find a lot of support and suggestions here.
Welcome to the family!
Welcome to the family!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Welcome to SR. !!!
That was an excellent, honest and well written first post and really look forward to hearing more from you, and, from those with words of wisdom in response.
I still have many questions about my own drinking... but not many answers, except that for me, I just don't drink now, for 6 and 1/2 months.
Anyway, glad to have you here, keep posting!!
Mark
That was an excellent, honest and well written first post and really look forward to hearing more from you, and, from those with words of wisdom in response.
I still have many questions about my own drinking... but not many answers, except that for me, I just don't drink now, for 6 and 1/2 months.
Anyway, glad to have you here, keep posting!!
Mark
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi Jayne, Welcome to SR! I am glad you joined us. I think you hit the nail on the head near the very end of your post....I feel it doesn't really matter what other people think, or whether or not you use the term "alcoholic" to describe yourself, if alcohol is causing a problem in your life, you are wise to eliminate it.
It may be possible with the help of a therapist or counsellor to get to the root of why you binge, but for right now, I would be more concerned about finding a way to stop it. I can see where you would consider that finding out why you do it may help you stop doing it, but I think the need to stop is more immediate than that.
My best advice would be see your doctor, be totally honest about how much you are drinking and go from there. I respect your stance on AA, but may I add, that if you truly think that your drinking may KILL YOU, you may want to reconsider why AA isn't an option for you. I would recommend doing anything to avoid dying.
Glad you are here with us!
Jomey
It may be possible with the help of a therapist or counsellor to get to the root of why you binge, but for right now, I would be more concerned about finding a way to stop it. I can see where you would consider that finding out why you do it may help you stop doing it, but I think the need to stop is more immediate than that.
My best advice would be see your doctor, be totally honest about how much you are drinking and go from there. I respect your stance on AA, but may I add, that if you truly think that your drinking may KILL YOU, you may want to reconsider why AA isn't an option for you. I would recommend doing anything to avoid dying.
Glad you are here with us!
Jomey
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR.
I was also a binge drinker and my drinking was causing me problems so I am trying to quit completely. The only support I have outside of my family is from SR.
I tried moderating for more years than I care to remember and it always turned out the same; a month or two sober, a little success at moderation then back to binging.
I find the support that I get here enough to keep me on the straight path so far.
Good luck.
I was also a binge drinker and my drinking was causing me problems so I am trying to quit completely. The only support I have outside of my family is from SR.
I tried moderating for more years than I care to remember and it always turned out the same; a month or two sober, a little success at moderation then back to binging.
I find the support that I get here enough to keep me on the straight path so far.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 59
:ghug3:ghug3Welcome Jayne. Your situation sounds very familiar to me, with one difference. I have found that once my "normal" drinking gets to a binge it then goes back to every day and constant. I to realized that if i continue that it will kill me. I have quit a few times over the last year. The last time i made a month. I had probably gone 3 or 4 years of not missing a day. I relapsed about a month ago and am on day 3 again. I can realize how much better i feel allready. I know that when i am drinking the rest of my life is pushed to the side. It has damaged my work and my finances greatly. Thank god my wife is very understanding or i doubt she would still be hear either. I have found this forum to be very helpfull, as i to do not do the meatings at this time. Glad you are hear and hope i can help in any way. Feel free to message me any time and together we can all get our lives in order again.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
Hi Jayne... I thought about your post and what resonated with me.
I was a daily drinker, not to black out or even legally impaired (usually...
), but I had days like you mentioned... I'd keep a bottle of vodka around for a couple of days... keep hitting secretly throughout the day and evening. While not usually to blackout... but certainly to DUI level, On these days I totally neglected myself, no working out, not eating well, big time isolating... These intervals started becoming more and more frequent... from once or twice a month a couple of years ago to at least weekly towards the end. Morning shots... yep...
I don't miss those times. Like you said, absolutely crazy.
I quit wondering or hoping or fantasizing that I could drink normally... maybe I could/can, but those times, that were becoming more frequent, that threatened (well, long story, but ultimately resulted in consequences...) my livelihood, marriage and nearly everything... well.... whether or not I can drink normally is not relevant, It's not worth it....
You are in a good place here at SR, Jayne... Remember, you help us at least as much as we may or may not help you... for example, I have been thinking about your post this morning and how much we have in common, even though we never met, and are probably very different on the outside...
Mark
I was a daily drinker, not to black out or even legally impaired (usually...
), but I had days like you mentioned... I'd keep a bottle of vodka around for a couple of days... keep hitting secretly throughout the day and evening. While not usually to blackout... but certainly to DUI level, On these days I totally neglected myself, no working out, not eating well, big time isolating... These intervals started becoming more and more frequent... from once or twice a month a couple of years ago to at least weekly towards the end. Morning shots... yep...I don't miss those times. Like you said, absolutely crazy.
I quit wondering or hoping or fantasizing that I could drink normally... maybe I could/can, but those times, that were becoming more frequent, that threatened (well, long story, but ultimately resulted in consequences...) my livelihood, marriage and nearly everything... well.... whether or not I can drink normally is not relevant, It's not worth it....
You are in a good place here at SR, Jayne... Remember, you help us at least as much as we may or may not help you... for example, I have been thinking about your post this morning and how much we have in common, even though we never met, and are probably very different on the outside...
Mark
Last edited by Mark75; 04-01-2009 at 07:45 AM. Reason: typo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Welcome Jayne!
Ditto to everyone else's posts (lame, I know). But seriously, this is a great site with lots of fabulous people with incredible insight into this disease of ours, in all its manifestations. It would be nice to say that there is a recipe for success, a reason for why one person can handle it when another cannot, but there isn't. I know that I question everything and want answers, reasons, solutions, explanations...But they just aren't there. Finally, I had to come to grips with the fact that this is who I am (who knows why?? and frankly, what difference does it make anyway) and I just have to deal with it.
Stick around...SR has helped me so much!
Ditto to everyone else's posts (lame, I know). But seriously, this is a great site with lots of fabulous people with incredible insight into this disease of ours, in all its manifestations. It would be nice to say that there is a recipe for success, a reason for why one person can handle it when another cannot, but there isn't. I know that I question everything and want answers, reasons, solutions, explanations...But they just aren't there. Finally, I had to come to grips with the fact that this is who I am (who knows why?? and frankly, what difference does it make anyway) and I just have to deal with it.
Stick around...SR has helped me so much!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 753
Welcome Jayne and thanks for your post - going into the detail of what it is like for you. My own story is different from yours, but still one where I did not know if I needed to quit completely or if moderation was a path.. Like many here I am finding that quitting is actually easier than trying to moderate.
You will find lots of threads on SR about alternatives to AA. I am not in any program - but I do feel like I have a program that is self defined and SR is a big part of it - SR is where I get my community support and it is absolutely amazing!
I don't disagree that seeing a DR is a good idea, but I would not get my hopes up. My own experience with DR's is that they just did not think my drinking was serious because I was still working, functional in my family and had no liver symptoms.. Well it was serious and I wish they had taken me more seriously when I asked for support.. I did get lots of support in therapy but have to say that SR has been the biggest for me. I have tried AA, Moderation Management, LifeRing and Smart Recovery - all support meetings but none has done what SR has done.
You are in the right place being here.. Keep posting and keep reading and you will really develop a group of loving and supportive friends.
WELCOME! :ghug3
You will find lots of threads on SR about alternatives to AA. I am not in any program - but I do feel like I have a program that is self defined and SR is a big part of it - SR is where I get my community support and it is absolutely amazing!
I don't disagree that seeing a DR is a good idea, but I would not get my hopes up. My own experience with DR's is that they just did not think my drinking was serious because I was still working, functional in my family and had no liver symptoms.. Well it was serious and I wish they had taken me more seriously when I asked for support.. I did get lots of support in therapy but have to say that SR has been the biggest for me. I have tried AA, Moderation Management, LifeRing and Smart Recovery - all support meetings but none has done what SR has done.
You are in the right place being here.. Keep posting and keep reading and you will really develop a group of loving and supportive friends.
WELCOME! :ghug3
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,507
Jayne, I envy you. If I had only done what you're doing in my 30's I could have prevented so much devastation in my life. You sound like me back then - and from there I escalated to every day drinking, including every morning to stop the shakes. In the end it was round-the-clock, and no amount I drank gave me that old euphoria. Be thankful that you've come to the conclusion that you are drinking alcoholically. It isn't how often you drink, it's what happens to you when you do. Welcome to our family, we are glad you're here.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR Jane, the best way to deal with life over all I have found is simply one day at a time, yesterday is gone and tomorrow will never be here, just stay in the day.
I was a binge drinker for the most part in the early years of my drinking but it progressed to daily drinking from there.
Like so many others I have found life much easier by simply not drinking at all, I tried the moderation way to many times, way to difficult to stop after a few.... why bother?
No matter what program you go with or even if you decide to not work a program there are things that I have found to be crucial to staying sober:
1. Honesty, with yourself and with others.
2. Open Minded, never closing a door on what may actually in the long run be the solution for one.
3. Willingness to do what ever it takes to stay sober.
They all tie together, I have to stay honest enough with myself to realize when a drink starts to sound like a good idea or even a possibility of becoming a good idea that I need to be open minded enough to either be willing to start doing something I stopped doing to stay sober or open minded and willing to try something I have not tried before.
No program works for any one unless they really honestly work it ALL the best they can!!! No one can say honestly that a certain program will not work for them UNLESS they really honestly work it ALL the best they can!!!
I was a binge drinker for the most part in the early years of my drinking but it progressed to daily drinking from there.
Like so many others I have found life much easier by simply not drinking at all, I tried the moderation way to many times, way to difficult to stop after a few.... why bother?
No matter what program you go with or even if you decide to not work a program there are things that I have found to be crucial to staying sober:
1. Honesty, with yourself and with others.
2. Open Minded, never closing a door on what may actually in the long run be the solution for one.
3. Willingness to do what ever it takes to stay sober.
They all tie together, I have to stay honest enough with myself to realize when a drink starts to sound like a good idea or even a possibility of becoming a good idea that I need to be open minded enough to either be willing to start doing something I stopped doing to stay sober or open minded and willing to try something I have not tried before.
No program works for any one unless they really honestly work it ALL the best they can!!! No one can say honestly that a certain program will not work for them UNLESS they really honestly work it ALL the best they can!!!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi Jayne,
The confusion surrounding our drinking patterns and our attempts to moderate and control the addiction is ever present. Many alcoholics, like myself, have tried every means available to control that which is beyond control for alcoholics. It is impossible for me to predict what will happen once I drink any amount of alcohol. Sure, I may only have one or two drinks today, but the next attempt has proven that it's a total crapshoot when I drink, because the daily binges turn into weeks, months, or more. It is like trying to stop an oncoming train by standing in front of it, I just get smashed to pieces whenever I try it. The one thing I have learned beyond any doubt is that I cannot drink safely. It's just not possible. That's why I joined SR and am trying, like you to find the support and guidance that I need to help me learn to live sober. It's an ongoing process.
You will hopefully find the support and encouragement you seek here at SR. It's a great place to start.
The confusion surrounding our drinking patterns and our attempts to moderate and control the addiction is ever present. Many alcoholics, like myself, have tried every means available to control that which is beyond control for alcoholics. It is impossible for me to predict what will happen once I drink any amount of alcohol. Sure, I may only have one or two drinks today, but the next attempt has proven that it's a total crapshoot when I drink, because the daily binges turn into weeks, months, or more. It is like trying to stop an oncoming train by standing in front of it, I just get smashed to pieces whenever I try it. The one thing I have learned beyond any doubt is that I cannot drink safely. It's just not possible. That's why I joined SR and am trying, like you to find the support and guidance that I need to help me learn to live sober. It's an ongoing process.
You will hopefully find the support and encouragement you seek here at SR. It's a great place to start.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 22
Hi Jayne,
Wow you and I sound a LOT alike. I am newer on here and have found sooo many amazing people to talk to. I joined in on my first online meeting lastnight and it was great. I too tried AA and it wasn't for me either. These meetings I can do and am going to continue doing. If you want to try one out let me know I would be happy to join you in one!!! If you would like to add me as a friend and send message please feel free, we can use all the help and support we can get!!! Hugz
Wow you and I sound a LOT alike. I am newer on here and have found sooo many amazing people to talk to. I joined in on my first online meeting lastnight and it was great. I too tried AA and it wasn't for me either. These meetings I can do and am going to continue doing. If you want to try one out let me know I would be happy to join you in one!!! If you would like to add me as a friend and send message please feel free, we can use all the help and support we can get!!! Hugz
where the light is
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,763
Hi Jayne,
This is a copy of my first SR post, December 17, 2007. There are similarities to your post:
I have not had one drink since that day. I have no obsession to drink and no fear that I will drink again. Alcohol is in my past and I have moved on.
From my perspective, you are an alcoholic. No rational person goes on 3-5 day benders drinking anything they can get their hands on. God knows, I tried to "unlearn" this behaviour but I finally had to accept that abstinence is my only option.
My solution is AA (SR, family & friends for support) and I have been blessed with an awesome life - my career is going great, my family is happy, I am happy.
Whatever it takes.
Best wishes.
This is a copy of my first SR post, December 17, 2007. There are similarities to your post:
Just a brief introduction. I am in my early forties and the father of two young, precious children. I have an established, professional career. Some days (like today) I can't believe I still have my family & job.
My alcohol problem (which I have had since I was a teenager) really began spiraling out of control approximately 5 years ago. More often than not, going out for a beer resulted in two or three days of continuous drinking. During these binges, alcohol was my only priority...to h*ll with my family, career, health, reputation. This was happening 3-4 times a month.
Last winter, I managed to quit drinking and later moderate up until just last week. I thought I was "cured" and went out for a beer on Friday. That beer lasted until Sunday. I'm not going to get into what happens when I am drinking but it can get pretty bad.
Last night (after sobering up), I had an amazing discussion with an AA member who invited me to a meeting tonight, no pressure...just to listen and get support. This will be my first meeting and I am nervous but I will do what I have to do.
As horrible as I feel right now, I know that I can get through this. I have had glimpses of how awesome a life without alcohol can be and I want this for me and my family.
My alcohol problem (which I have had since I was a teenager) really began spiraling out of control approximately 5 years ago. More often than not, going out for a beer resulted in two or three days of continuous drinking. During these binges, alcohol was my only priority...to h*ll with my family, career, health, reputation. This was happening 3-4 times a month.
Last winter, I managed to quit drinking and later moderate up until just last week. I thought I was "cured" and went out for a beer on Friday. That beer lasted until Sunday. I'm not going to get into what happens when I am drinking but it can get pretty bad.
Last night (after sobering up), I had an amazing discussion with an AA member who invited me to a meeting tonight, no pressure...just to listen and get support. This will be my first meeting and I am nervous but I will do what I have to do.
As horrible as I feel right now, I know that I can get through this. I have had glimpses of how awesome a life without alcohol can be and I want this for me and my family.
From my perspective, you are an alcoholic. No rational person goes on 3-5 day benders drinking anything they can get their hands on. God knows, I tried to "unlearn" this behaviour but I finally had to accept that abstinence is my only option.
My solution is AA (SR, family & friends for support) and I have been blessed with an awesome life - my career is going great, my family is happy, I am happy.
Whatever it takes.
Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: East Coast
Posts: 437
Hi Jayne,
Welcome to SR. Your story has alot of similarities to mine. I would binge drink but did it every weekend. I am in my 40's and went back to school after children. After I went to work I figured I earned the partying on weekends. My children were adults and I even would go out with them. There was something in me that I surpassed everyone. I could drink more and for longer. I could drink and get drunk everyday for a week and then just deal with a really bad hangover. I had the shakes and would take a valium. I would basically usually drink anyday I wasn't working. Long story short in the end I had to drive home from our shore house a hour and a half on Monday morning and I couldn't do it without a drink. I drank to get to work on 2 Mondays in a row. I was called into HR on the second Monday because I smelled of alcohol. So I was basically told to get help or get fired. I went to inpatient for 8 days and then IOP for 2 months. I really thinked that helped me. I do not think I knew enough to quit. I think I would have been one of those that kept trying. We all have so many differences but also so much in common with what we think is the typical alcoholic.
I am not ruling out ever drinking again. I do not attend AA. I have given myself one year. I am over 8 months now. What I am learning is I think there is too much risk for me to ever drink again. If I can only have one or two drinks once in a while why would I risk doing the crazy things I was doing. After awhile you will begin to really see how so wrong we were. There could/should never be a reason to hide/drink at work/ drink in the morning and to ever risk going back there would really be insane.
Good luck and keep posting. Also if you haven't read the book Under the Influence start reading some of the excerpts. It all really does start to make sense.
Welcome to SR. Your story has alot of similarities to mine. I would binge drink but did it every weekend. I am in my 40's and went back to school after children. After I went to work I figured I earned the partying on weekends. My children were adults and I even would go out with them. There was something in me that I surpassed everyone. I could drink more and for longer. I could drink and get drunk everyday for a week and then just deal with a really bad hangover. I had the shakes and would take a valium. I would basically usually drink anyday I wasn't working. Long story short in the end I had to drive home from our shore house a hour and a half on Monday morning and I couldn't do it without a drink. I drank to get to work on 2 Mondays in a row. I was called into HR on the second Monday because I smelled of alcohol. So I was basically told to get help or get fired. I went to inpatient for 8 days and then IOP for 2 months. I really thinked that helped me. I do not think I knew enough to quit. I think I would have been one of those that kept trying. We all have so many differences but also so much in common with what we think is the typical alcoholic.
I am not ruling out ever drinking again. I do not attend AA. I have given myself one year. I am over 8 months now. What I am learning is I think there is too much risk for me to ever drink again. If I can only have one or two drinks once in a while why would I risk doing the crazy things I was doing. After awhile you will begin to really see how so wrong we were. There could/should never be a reason to hide/drink at work/ drink in the morning and to ever risk going back there would really be insane.
Good luck and keep posting. Also if you haven't read the book Under the Influence start reading some of the excerpts. It all really does start to make sense.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: moving target
Posts: 956
Hi there Jayne
you are obviously intelligent. do the right thing. I can relate to your struggle. hang tough. it isnt easy but it is absolutely something you can kick. take it a day at a time. work out or whatever floats your boat to distract you from the need for alcohol. by the way i am trying hard also. be strong Jayne. it IS possible and a better life is there for you.
Dub
Dub
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