Mark75

This next poll tries to get at how our recovery effected or SO's drinking. Please bear with me, it's hard to get all the bases covered with only 6 choices... Again suggestions welcomed. Next poll will be for those who do not currently have an SO and whether a prospective SO's drinking would or would not effect their decision to enter a relationship...

Mark

Fubarcdn

Very interesting polls Cubile. It is nice to see these kinds of threads here. I am looking forward to participating in the poll.

Mark75

These polls are indeed interesting, mostly because of the great folks here at SR who are willing to participate and be involved... So THANK YOU!!!

Mark

Music man

I am willing to participate, kinda breaks the humdrumness.
I voted, my Wife never drank. She hardly ever complained about my drinking, I usually just made an ass out of my self, never ever hurt any one or was mean.
I was a happy drunk living miserably. Now she says I am her dream come true, since I stopped drinking.

She asked me if she was my motivation to stop drinking, I told her yes and gave her a kiss, but really I stopped for my self, it's amazing all the benefits that come with not drinking.

Mark75

thanx hardwired... I was that happy drunk, not sure if I'm my wife's dream come true yet... .... I think she's still in shock, with the whole thing... intervention, rehab, recovery.

Philly

Thanks Cubicle- I like polls. It seems that we have so many variables that it is hard to pick one. My SO is part of the reason I started to drink. I was told if you can't beat em join em. Well I surpassed. I was the happy drunk, my SO can get nasty. He was never a big house drinker usually went to bars. I was the reason we started drinking in the house so pretty much stopped except at our shore house. I will say one thing that has helped me is him not drinking my drink of choice which was vodka. I seem to be able to handle other alcoholic beverages. I was never a beer or whiskey drinker.

About your wife being in shock- Sometimes I can't believe it myself. This diease for me really spiraled very quickly. I was threatened with an intervention but got nabbed at work first.

flutter

I voted.. hubby drinks, but never around me or in the home. I'm sure at some point he'll have a beer out with dinner, but for now and since I quit has respected my preference on this, I honestly would be concerned if he couldn't! He's not an alcoholic, he could care less, and it's much more important for him to support me.. and like I said, that one beer, or one drink that he would have around me, just isn't that important to him, my comfort is, thank goodness!

Sara9009

My husband will drink when he is out of town on business but he hasn't drank at home. When I started drinking heavily he stopped drinking anything, anywhere.

ToABetterMe

I would almost say its gotten worse in the last few months. It almost like he feels like if Im not drinking thats extra $ he can spend on beer, and I will be sober to take care of the kids.

Mark75

Sara - That was one variable I thought of but couldn't quite get it out in the 6 max questions... I have read that here, SO stops drinking BEFORE the alcoholic spouse/lifemate starts recovery... Did his decision to stop drinking influence your acceptance/willingness towards recovery?

Jackie36

My SO drinks 12 pack plus a day, but he doesn't have a problem of coarse................he just likes his beer....blah

Mark75

Thanx everybody... keep those votes and comments coming! Yea, this was a bump

Tazman53

Well I have yet to see my wife have a single drink since I got sober, of course she only drinks now when the moon is blue away from the house.

My getting sober did not change my wifes drinking pattern, my drinking did!

Mark75

Poll ends tomorrow...

Sara9009

Sorry I didn't see this until now.

He would drink with me until he started to realize that I was starting to get out of control. Then he stopped drinking altogether which annoyed me because it just highlighted what I was doing and made it less okay. On the flipside, had he decided to become my drinking partner I can't imagine what would have happened but nothing good.

I think it helped that he wasn't drinking but it wasn't a major factor in my quitting. Although, if he had been drinking and was unwilling to stop it would have been a major impediment.

I do have to add my situatuon is a little different because my husband can be gone a lot with his job so I am not sure how that played it's part.

kenyathena

My husband has gotten worse... It is like he is trying to punish me and show me how stupid I looked when drinking. He has come home everyday for the last twoo weeks boozed up... It doesn't make me want to drink quite the opposite but the smell of booze on his breath turns my stomache, I don't want him anywhere near me. Something has got to give soon!!

Mark75

Thanx all for the responses, this ends tomorrow... I'll summarize results, one or two more coming...

Gypsy Feet

my on again off again was worse off by far. He quit drinking the weekend after I did. He still thinks (or at least says) that neither of us had a problem. I'm sure part of him knew I wouldn't be in the house long if it kept up after I stopped. I am happy for his health he quit, and as for the rest of it, I can only focus on me right now.