Lila

so... my boyfriend went to rehab over christmas and was really excited about and into meetings when he first got out. Now he says he just wants to normal. Wants to be able to socially smoke and drink because he was never like the people who share in meetings or isnt as bad as the others. (I know this is part of the disease) I cant just pretend im ok with that even though I dont hold my self to the standards of complete sobriety. I just dont know if this is ok or not. I will know if it isnt ok if he starts using all the time again... I just dont know where to draw my line.... ideas?

BayAreaPhoenix

Guessing "socially smoke" is not cigarettes.

So long as they're "different" - not as bad as, etc. I think the chances are you will know if it's not OK or not for yourself soon enough.

(((hugs)))

Impurrfect

(((Lila)))

I'm a recovering addict. I know I can't go to rehab, then go back to being "normal". As Bayarea said, most addicts who think "I'm not that bad" will often go back to their old ways, eventually, and end up "that bad" or worse. It doesn't always happen, but most of the time, smoking and drinking occasionally, gets our addict mind to thinking we can use our DOC (drug of choice) "occasionally", too, and that NEVER works.

The only thing you can control is you. Is this okay with you? Did you have boundaries set when he came back from rehab? Are you willing to see if this will work out? What happens if he goes back to using?

I hope you keep reading and posting. Lots of people here are going through, or have been through the same thing.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

I will not be in a close relationship, of any kind, with an addict not in recovery.

Just an example.

Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.