Toomutch

We are struggling right now financially, but my husband is getting more and more work each day... We do not have it bad; we have just had to slow down our spending.

The problem is, all the cut backs seem to involve mostly me. My husband said yesterday that medication is not necessary, and doctors tend to freely prescribe it. I agree with him on this, but I need the meds I take, I really do! I need one of my prescriptions filled by Wednesday; it is an important one for nerve pain. He said "that one cost $140, I'm not so sure we can fill that". We have to meet a high deductable before our insurance kicks in. I have had to cancel an MRI, quit going to IOP, Quit going to therapy, cancel marriage counseling and put aside a bipolar support group. I am fine with this and have not complained about it to him.

Meanwhile... Although he has cut back as well, He eats lunch out everyday, just purchased 100's of dollars of ammo (he is fearing Armageddon).

He knows I need treatment and my meds... Why does he act like this? He knows I was suicidal last October and diagnosed bipolar, he know I have fibromyalgia and chronic shingles. But now that times are tough, these conditions mysteriously went away?

I am just aggravated about the whole situation and thought I would vent. I don't think I'm very important to him... Although he tells me he loves me all the time and helps out around the house. It's the inconsistencies that have me on edge.

CAPTAINZING2000

Any chance you could substitute for generic or herbal??

CAPTAINZING2000

ouch didn't see the ammo part the first time

parentrecovers

oh, your meds are not a good place to cut the budget, imho. could very easily just add to more expenses/set backs down the road.

can you and your hubby meet with your doc to discuss? just an idea.

tommyk

Sit him down for a talk about how your marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship?

(Offer to pack his lunch to save money?)

Keep coming back.

louis

sorry... dont know what to say other than...

YES... YOU ARE IMPORTANT!!

CAPTAINZING2000

I agree with Toomy

Being with your husband might have me needing meds as well.
ZSpending lots of money for weapons etc. As an observer, I wonder about your husband's judgement!

I recall you saying, I think I recall, you saying your husband attends church. Have you talked to your pastor to get feedback? Also, does your church have any marital counselling?

Tazman53

Yes you are that important when it comes to meds, especially ones you really need! I would suggest sitting him down and calmly trying to explain to him why you need those meds and then see about counseling at your church.

I like what Tommy said about packing his lunch!!!!

Aysha

You are very important Suzette.
I have no advice here.
But I know venting is good.
I really hope you can find some half way point with your husband.
Your meds are important and some may not be wise to just stop taking cold turkey.

Toomutch

I am on several generics, there is no generic for 2 of them and those 2 alone are $220 a month.
As far as herbals go, my minor in college was hollistic health, if I though there was a way to go herbal I would.
Thanks for your concern Captian...

Freedom1990

I am extremely concerned about you, and these things he is not willing to pay for anymore. These are essential for you and your well-being.

I'm sorry, but I see your husband as very controlling and stripping you of the things you need.

Horselover

I would not let anyone cut your meds if I were you. My husband is on a lot of medication for diabetes and depression and they are all very expensive. We have had to actually charge medications some months, but not filling the prescriptions is not an option. Its as important as paying our mortgage. Depression can kill and to me if its life or death then I'll choose filling the prescription and figuring out how to pay it later. You MUST take care of yourself Suzette. If you don't take care of yourself then you can't be a mother or a wife. Put yourself first in this matter. Hugs!

Freedom1990

I also wanted to add that this concerns me too. You shouldn't be fine with this. These things are important. He's isolating you from the things that you need, hon.

I lived with a controlling EXAH.

I'm really scared for you.

CAPTAINZING2000

I still have red flags going up with this preparing for the end of the world.

That's speaking from an alcoholic that, had a mind set of what if!!!

You have to try and convince your husband, God's in charge. I understand some people thinking, they need a gun to protect the family but, to arm one's self for an imposing armageddon, that's not normal behavior.

This is the best way to prepare
Matthew 15:31-46

least

I have to agree with Freedom here. Cutting back by cutting out your essential meds while still eating lunch out every day and spending hundreds on ammo?? Something's not right here, and it isn't you... Also agree strongly that marriage is a partnership, not a dictatorship. Please don't give up your meds or 'allow' him to cut them out. This situation makes me uncomfortable to think about. He sure doesn't seem to assign much importance to your well being and that really bothers me. 'Saying' he loves you and 'showing' it are two different things, tho I tend to believe love that is shown over love that is spoken.

:ghug3

Anna

You know Suzette, I completely agree with Suzette.

Your husband is controlling you and isolating you from therapy and meds that you need.

And, think about it, Who needs hundreds of dollars worth of ammunition???

KenL

Would your husband be able to survive and still be happy without his ammo? Sorry Suzette but this really ticks me off. He should know better. You're well-being is more important than some bullets and shells. Argh! I feel for you.

lulukat

YOU ARE VERY IMPORTANT. Please dont stop taking your meds. If you have a chemical imbalance it could very dangerous AND end up being very costly if something happens. Particularly since you're under such stress with other things. Is there someone - a relative or pastor that you can meet with? Take care.

Toomutch

As I think about it he has always been controlling. He confuses me so much... Not more than 2 weeks ago he said "we will always come up with a way to pay for your meds". And now this. Just like some days he will tell me I'm the strongest woman he has ever known only to turn around and say I need to toughen up. If he only knew how much it hurts me when he recants on what he says. On the other hand, It makes me feel so special when he praises me... I feel like a child.

You have all given good advise... I heard Tommy loud and clear... It is a dictatorship around here.

To talk to him about anything along the lines of marriage counseling will have to be done when he is in the best of moods.

I know I am making him seem like an awful man... He does have alot of good qualities too. He gives freely to our church with his time. He is supportive of my alcoholism, he kind sometimes be the kindest person in the world.

I need to try and wrap my head around all of this.

Horselover

Well Suzette without judging your husband, the point of the matter is you must get your meds. You do have a credit card I would assume. I know some people have gotten rid of theirs, but we have not for this very reason. Please make sure to get your meds. Very, very important.