FreeBird09

Hi everyone. The AXBF called me, has been for a while. He has been going to counseling for roughly 5-6 months now. He was hypnotized about a month ago and can't hold a drink down, and gets violently ill for days after. He has tried on 2 occasions to drink, he drinks one beer and then pukes all night long, into the next day. He seems more like himself, when he wasn't drinking heavily but my fear is that the hypnosis will wear off. Has anyone heard of this working? He is a very suggestive person (as in, very easily swayed)

Anyone with some input, please do let me know. I never thought about this, or for him to do it. As I said, he has been going to the same counselor, for his addiction, and the counselor suggested this, he signed the waiver (called me before signing it in case he died in the process.. haha! (not funny, but in a way, very funny) and the above instances has happened each time he takes one drink. (because he calls me as he is reeling, dizzy, weak, shakes, sick)

Barbara52

I tried nyhnosis once to quit smoking. It didn't work. Largely because I wasn't really serious about quitting smoking.

I imagine the same would be try about using it to quit drinking. Unless the gut level desire to quit drinking is there, no little tricks like hypnosis are going to work. And since he keeps drinking, well, how serious is he?

How about you? How are you doing?

Freedom1990

If he's your ex, is there any reason you two are still communicating? Are you hoping for a reconciliation? I'm just trying to get a better understanding of what's going on.

FreeBird09

Barbara52, thank you for your input. After I posted I did some research and there still has to be the 'will', and the 'want' to quit. I am doing well, hopefully going back to college in the Fall.

Freedom1990, yeah I ask myself that question daily. There is no reason in this world for the two of us to be talking, we don't have children in common, and own nothing together. I guess I have to pray on it more and let God guide me in this and give me a clearer understanding. I think it boils down to: my heart bleeds for him, he is like a lost soul, and no I am not trying to save him (anymore) but because he is an alcoholic does not mean that I can't love him, and I do.. from a distance!

Freedom1990

Thanks for the clarification.

Things like hypnosis are snake oil as far as I'm concerned when it comes to something like true alcoholism. If only it were that easy!

As far as him being a lost soul, there are plenty of resources out there for help.

When I finally hit a bottom and got sick and tired of being sick and tired, I got the help.

Today my life is pretty darned good.

Barbara52

For me, any contact with my x would continue to keep my concerns and fears for him front and center even though I long ago handed him over to God and His care. All I could get out of contact with my x would be continued angst and pain. I still very much care for x and hope he finds recovery but I had to let go to save my own sanity and serenity.

FreeBird09

Freedom1990: I am happy you were able to get tired of being sick and tired. That is what I pray for, for him. Your life being 'pretty darn good' is FANTASTIC!. I am beginning to think that the hypnosis is a smoke screen.

Barbara52: I agree with the fact that it soaks up the peace in a persons heart to continue contact. I am still working on me and the ability to give it entirely up to God to do his work in me, and in him (AXBF). It feels like free falling. (basically my fears get in the way of progress)

I really appreciate the two of you responding. When in doubt I come to SR to hear (see) the reality of it all.

Freedom1990

I had a really tough time letting go when I left the EXAH. When I finished rehab, going home to the then AH was not an option as he had returned to drinking/drugging as soon as he got out of rehab (shortly before I had gone in).

I could find no peace of mind, no serenity until I absolutely went with no contact.

Was it uncomfortable? You bet. I had to say the serenity prayer over and over countless times.

I had survivor's guilt for a long time too because I hung onto recovery because my life depended on it, whereas he tossed it aside.

Eventually I came to believe in my heart that even though I wanted nothing but the best for him, his own self will was bent on destruction, and all I could do was pray for him.

You do have the choice at any point to go no contact. We have to walk through the discomfort of doing something new to get past it.

:ghug :ghug :ghug