jules67

I have been sober since 1/15/09, and I am realizing that I am unsure how to recognize and handle stress and feelings.

I find myself at 4:00 in the afternoon, with rising anxiety from whatever reaching for food . I have tried to stop and ask myself what am I feeling , what is really going on, but I can't answer it with anything other than a compulsion to eat, I guess it is to numb.

I am worried I might be trading one addiction from alcohol, for another. I have put on some weight since I have stopped drinking, it is fine but I certainly don't want to continue gaining!

I am considering meeting with a previous counselor next week , she is not an addiction counselor so I am going to see how it goes.

I am feeling a little down about this whole thing and I really want to live a life that is free . I guess I am feeling confused about this whole thing.

I have been "shut down" emotionally for a lot of years, I know it will take time to relearn how to live. I just don't have a clue where to start.

thanks for letting me share

jules67

HideorSeek

Hi Jules!

I have to admit that I go through the same thing. Right now, I have an addiction for ice cream. Funny, I could have gone either way when I was drinking...but the "craving" seems to hit at 2 am! (I'm not a great sleeper anyway). The other time I get a sugar craving is at 4 pm. I'm wondering (I really have no clue) if these times might reflect a low blood sugar level and my body is signaling me. Just a thought...

sfgirl

I have an ice cream issue too, although I don't think it is a cross-addiction problem but a blood-sugar issue. I never had a sweet tooth before I quit drinking. Desserts were just not my thing and now it is like ice cream and chocolate, please. I recently kicked the caffeine or majority of it because of digestive issues and have been trying to eat more healthily and I feel a lot more energetic but I still enjoy the occasional (or more than occasional) ice cream. Although somehow in all this I have lost weight since stopping drinking so I definitely was consuming way more calories when I was shoving alcohol down my throat...

mle-sober

Hi Jules,

Congratulations on your sobriety! You've taken some really important and life-changing steps to wellbeing.

What I have learned (in a little over a year of sobriety) is that my recovery is much, much more than just having the will-power to not drink. In fact, in many ways, my recovery has less to do with NOT DRINKING and more to do with discovering myself, finding ways to be at peace with my history, learning how to experience stress and anxiety without imploding, and generally putting one foot in front of the other each day.

I drank because I wasn't prepared to be alive in the world that I found myself in. I drank so that I wouldn't kill myself or go crazy in the world that I saw around me. I drank so that I could numb my reactions to all the pain and suffering and hurt that I was a prisoner to.

Drinking helped me go from:

"OMG!! I hate myself and I hate what's been done to me and I hate all this pain and I can't stand any more!!!"

to

"Whatever. Heh. Heh. Now I don't care. In fact, let's have more. There, that feels better. Now what was I worrying about?"

So you can imagine that, when I took the alcohol away, it didn't immediately cure me of the problems in my life. All it did is take away the insanity that the alcohol itself caused. But it left (exposed and raw) all the hurt and confusion and pain that I'd been avoiding in the first place.

Only now, instead of being 20 and energetic and having my whole life ahead of me, I am 40 and exhausted and responsible for 4 children and feeling physically and mentally broken down into about a million little pieces.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that it would be a miracle in my mind, if, after removing the alcohol from your life, you didn't find that you had issues, painful issues, to confront. Stuff that you've been avoiding and numbing. Stuff that is hard. This is life. This is what we did to ourselves when we chose to drink instead of to handle what was coming at us. And now, to get well, to really walk the path of recovery that we need to walk, we have to do more than just not drink. We have to move forward into understanding and healing.

I find myself eating also. But I don't think it has anything to do with the food. I think it has to do with comfort and avoidance. I try not to get sidetracked with the issue of food. I try to notice it and then do exactly what you were saying - ask myself what am I responding to right now? Why am I eating? What am I numbing?

I do work with a therapist and find it really helpful. I know there are books with workbooks, too.

Hang in there. And don't forget to keep giving yourself credit for each day you stay sober. Things do keep getting better, if you keep focused. As no doubt you've heard already.

CarolD

I did follow the eating plan + supplements I found
in "under The Influence" for about 6 months in early recovery.
I did not gain or lose weight.

You also might ask your doctor about hypoglycemia
Google for diet info.


...I've been sober quite awhile and I do have
1/2 Galon of Rainbow Sherbert + 3 other 1/2 gallons
of ice cream in my freezer. I consider them to be
my choice for a sober treat.

Well done on your sober progress Jules

coffeenut

Congrats on your sober time, Jules!

Try and keep in mind you ARE in early recovery. It is tough....but you are tougher!

Be gentle with yourself.....lots of good advice in this thread and I echo it.

Hevyn

Me too, Jules. I definitely had a compulsion to replace the drinking with other things - mainly, candy bars, ice cream, coffee with flavored cream. I never had much of a sweet tooth in the past. I combined it with an oral fixation-thing, for example, tootsie pops became my pacifier. I think I missed the sugar, plus the physical act of sipping on a drink all day. The cravings have gradually lessened though.

tommyk

Just my ES&H... I had to replace my drinking with something.

In fact, I had to replace it with ALOT of things.

An addicition, to me, is using something that produces negative consequences, and in the case of alcohol & drugs - negative consequences meant death.

Take it easy on yourself for a few months. Get used to not drinking.

Don't let potentially harmless activities distract you from your progress.

Priority #1: DO NOT DRINK.

tuco70

I've been eating up a storm. I never connected the sugar thing. Speaking of, my wife just made cheesecake. Got ta go.


Tuco

Aysha

This topic comes up every so often.
I think if it makes you feel better and helps a little in not drinking. Then no harm.
Like all things. Time will change things.
You are still early in recovery. And as you get more time. I believe you find balance.
Its normal for some to eat more after quitting. Or start excercising or something. Just dont pick up. And be patient with yourself.