Live

I was in a club the other night.
I met with a business associate as he was staying in the adjoining hotel and went over a progress report.
My friend was with me having fun chatting with another gal.
Friend's dad was singing karoake.
So I stayed much longer than I wanted to.
No big deal. Compromise.
However as the evening came to a late end, I went up to a friend's friend to compliment her on her voice.
She told me she was too drunk to be able to sing right.
I later noticed that she elicited help walking out of the bar.
Flash. I realized she was going to drive home...
so I went jogging out in pursuit of her, caught up, asked, advised etc "don't drive" but within seconds it seemed, she was gunning her car and drove off.
I didn't know anything about the car she was driving except the color.
In the end I made it into an emergency that her seemingly sober friend follow her home.
I don't even want to be in these type of situations....but my conscience wouldn't let me turn a blind eye.
I don't know what I could have done without tackling her?????????????

Jrock75

My brother drinks and drives all the time ,whenever I say something to him he gets mad and it starts an aguement. The way I look at it he's just gonna have to learn the hardway.

freya

live: I don't know what else you could have done -- other than maybe call the police, but you'd probably have to have known exactly what kind of car she had and, in general, where she was headed, which, it doesn't really sound like you did.....Sounds like you did the best you could, given the situation.

No need to beat yourself up!

...and, if you had tackled her, you'd probably be the one in jail, which rather defeats the purpose in more ways than one!

freya

P.S. Good to "see" you! Hope you are doing better, in general, than in this one post!

Live

Freya: LOL and a hug. This evening we met at IHOP to go over the reports. And now I am happily at home, while roomie has a date. Yeah, that's good.

Jrock: I can't do that. I think about carloads of dead people. And I am SURE she hates me. I don't care.

I guess I just feel sickish about being in that situation.

Barbara52

Along with his victims? Sorry but if I see a drunk person getting in a vehicle, I call the cops. If they are in my home (doesn't happen but if it did), I'd take their keys and or call the cops. If I saw a car swerving around like a drunk was driving, I'd call the cops.

The potential victims, those innocents who may be harmed or killed, deserve to have people take action to prevent that harm or death.



liveweyerd, in your situation you might have been able to take action earlier if you had realized what was coming but as it stands, I think you did all you could.

twistedruby

You didn't do anything wrong...you just did what you could.....and that was a lot more than most people will do.
If she didn't like it, that is her problem.


My brother was killed instantly by a drunk driver in 2003.
He was the last person I had left in my immediate family.

My AH, after driving drunk 90% of the time for the last 2 and a half years ("managing" a bar) finally did fall asleep on his way home last Aug. and ended up with back surgery when he totaled his truck.
Fortunately there was no other vehicle involved, just his truck.

Happily (to me at least) the bar had to close because they owed the state comptroller and the landlord way too much which in this case fell upon the owner, not the mgr.....
Anyway, that happened a month after AH was out of the picture because of his crash and surgery.

I am at the point now where I never again want to set foot in Any establishment that sells alcohol (excluding restaurants) because I wonder how many of the losers there will be driving away under the influence.

Alcohol and bar jokes are not funny to me at all anymore.

Eroica

I've driven friends home and called taxis. Yet I've also done nothing numerous times as well. I agree with barbara, we shouldn't take it so lightly. So many people die, just because we want to be selfish. Even though we're all guilty of it we can agree there's NO excuse for drunk driving.

Latte

I'm so sorry. You did the best you could in that situation.

I have called the cops on friends. If you won't hand me the keys, I will call the police. It sucked and I have lost friends because of it, but I have a clear conscience.

twistedruby

If you lost friendships over calling the police because they were driving under the influence, IMO, they were not real friends to start with....and you still did the right thing.

tallulah

I couldn't sit back and watch a drunk person get behind the wheel of a ton of metal and drive off.

And I'm not self righteous, or drunk, or psycho, or a druggie. I'm just someone who appreciates that actions all too often have consequences and if, by just picking up the phone, I could save the driver's life or that of anyone they may hit then I'd have no hesitation.

If you watch (fingers crossed) while a drunk drives away and do nothing then imho you are complicit.

Jadmack25

I have been in the ER dept of our hospital a few times over the years, and seen the result of drunk driving at very bloody first hand. The last time was only 2 weeks ago during an angina attack. Three young lads came in to emergency moaning and bloodied after one of them had slammed his car into a tree. I saw the terrified parents there and believe me it was not much fun for anyone at that time, the injured lads, their parents, other patients or the wonderful staff.

I have "dobbed" in drivers who I saw driving erratically, and others who left venues in no condition to drive, and I make no apologies for doing so.

My family, friends and I use our roads daily and it is dangerous enough with the amount of traffic on them, without having those who are out of their tree due to drink or drugs let loose on us as well.

I have a prepaid funeral plan, but don't want it put into action because of a drunk driver.

jaguarpcb

Two weeks ago here in the Detroit area we lost 4 teens to a drunk driver. Frances Dingle had been drinking at a friend's house. Someone had called the police about a domestic disturbance at that house early in the afternoon, Dingle was not involved in that disturbance but was told by police not to drive anywhere until she sobered up. I can't figure if the friend's boyfriend was drinking or not, apparently he told police Dingle was drinking with his girlfriend, so maybe not. I don't believe either of them attempted to stop Dingle from driving away. She hit the car with the four teens right in front of the mall close to where I live, killing them all. The last couple weeks have been a blur of fundraisers and vigils and memorials. It's the saddest most tragic thing I remember in recent history.

There is only so much one can do, but I believe we have to try to do something. Too many innocent lives are at stake to not do anything.

Liveweyerd, you tried. Someone else was right when they said that if you had tackled her you might have landed in jail yourself. Good for you for trying though, that's all you can do.

ItsmeAlice

I agree that a responsible person makes an effort, but who is that responsible person exactly?
Doesn't the law hold the establishment operators (bartenders, waitstaff, owners) to a higher standard of responsbility when it comes to cutting off patrons and allowing them to drive away from their business under the influence?
Doesn't the law also hold responsible those who were with the drunk driver at the establishment who walked them out to their car and saw them off?
The last person responsbile for a drunk getting behind the wheel shouldn't be a complete stranger who follows them out of the bar and tries stop them or get their keys away.

I have tried to take keys away from loved ones and people I thought were my friends and put myself in harms way when it turned into an altercation.

(And why is that by the way? Why is letting someone drive you home or call you a cab a reason to get hostile and speed off?)

I think there is a level of self righteousness in a statement that implies you always do the right thing. Some members here have called the cops when their A left the house intoxicated and 'paid the price' later when the A returned home. Was it still the right thing to do? Maybe so, but they'd certainly hesitate the next time.

I think letting them learn the hard way by getting pulled over, getting the license taken away, going to jail is the only chance they have of learning. Still, how many drunk drivers kill someone on the road on their third, fourth, or even fifth DUI?

I think the original poster did all she could and all she could even be asked to do. She obviously pi@@ed the lady off and could have put herself in worse danger. The only suggestion I have is maybe the focus shouldn't be on taking away the keys but identifying the vehicle and the direction it's headed and calling the cops rather than confronting the intoxicated person on your own.

I think I'll try that myself next time I'm in the same situation.

This is an intrigueing topic to me. I watch those "What would you do?" situation shows on TV and my response always changes depending on where I am at in my life at the time. I bet I'd be pretty ballsy if I was a linebacker for the Raiders rather than the real me.

Alice

SonofaMess

I've physically stopped friends from driving. The easiest is to snatch the keys and take them quickly without being seen or even throw em in the trash.

Id rather my friends be pissed off at me for a few days than dead or in jail.

tallulah

What if.. heaven forbid.. your tanked up sibling careered into a car containing a family.

Would you feel compelled to look after them if they (through no fault of their own) found themselves without a Husband, Father and breadwinner because you didn't take the keys and/or turned a blind eye?

I'm incredulous that you could be so rude but that said.. I'd rather be a snitch than an ostrich. I could live with the former.