original

So everyone I know is drinking this weekend, including my partner...
Next weekend I have a karting race to participate in, but as for this weekend, what the hell am I gonna dooo?

Anyone else out there frustrated by everyone drinking while you've decided that you're no longer participating in it?

Or anyone whos kicked the booze have a partner that still drinks?

Just like to hear some feedback, cos I know I ain't the only one!

Wishing you all a great weekend!!

Dee74

It's really tough to get used to...it seems like everyone drinks (actually they don't but it seems like it)

You'll see drinking everywhere, if you want to and it can drive you mad, if you let it.

Focus on why you're doing this for - you obviously think you have a problem. Don't forget that. Stay true. What other people do is immaterial.

Maybe let your friends and family know how hard this is for you tho? - go for all the support you can get.

D

original

Its tough, that's for sure... hardest times is when I know my partner will be drinking, as will my friends, and I'd rather stay away from it.

This weekend both my mates are away, and get back sunday, and my partner is travelling down to a different city to get drunk, (girls night)...

It's just tough...
Pretty much the only thing that stops me from drinking is I have 12 days now, and this forum REALLY helps... so thankyou!

gravity

Congratulations on 12 days!

So much of my early sobriety was keeping busy. No "spiritual growth", no "recovery"...just getting through the damn day.

SR, movies, exercise, reading...anything to keep busy. Didn't seem like I was accomplishing much at the time but in retrospect what I was doing was building strength.

Believe me, you are not missing out on anything by not drinking. Who really wants to be out of their mind, sick, and hungover?

But think about what you are accomplishing by giving yourself another day sober!

Stay strong...those days add up and you will reach that day when you will be at peace - happy to be a non-drinker.

original

Thanks mate, I'm sticking to the non-drinkage - keeping busy is the key I think, for sure. I agree, what everyone else does is insignificant... it's my sobreity!

CarolD

No one I know will be drinking this weekend.
Not my family or my friends.

Perhaps you need new friends who are non drinkers?
Certainly works very well for me.

ruch

The friends part is tough. All my buddies from work are down the shore for a weekend of golf and boozing. For the past 6 months, when the trip was being planned, I was going too. But now I'm sitting here posting on SR instead. I must admit, I feel pretty dam good about it too.

I can't imagine how difficult it would be having a partner who still drinks though. My wife is 100% supportive of me in this and is a huge reason why I'm doing so well right now.

Fubarcdn

Congrats on 12 days original.
I am sure all my old buddies are down at the bar but I don't really miss that as much as I thought I would.
I guess I have had my fill of that.
Keep at it. It will get easier.

original

I'm thinking of attending AA, just to meet people who don't drink!! My partner only drinks occasionally, but it still sorta bugs me, but I'm sure I'll get used to it. Plus, who am I to expect her to stop drinking, right?

Thanks Fubar!

Emily2002

These two strategies seem to work well for me, too, Original. The more days I get under my belt the less I want to ruin the run. As for the forum... I've been reading mostly -- some would call it lurking I guess -- but haven't really felt strong enough or had the energy quite frankly, to post much. I find that checking in a few times a day keeps me focused on my problem.

I definitely can relate to having a partner who drinks. I used to really resent the fact that he drinks in front of me every night. This time 'round (I've gone months sober before), I'm handling it a bit better. Maybe it's because I finally realize that I can't control what other do.

You're doing an awesome job. Thank you sooo much for sharing and welcome. :ghug

original

Thanks NewLeaf, your post helped me...
It's good stuff to see that we're not alone sometimes.
Thanks for taking the time to reply

gneiss

I started drinking because everyone else was. It was to be social. Wasn't long before I was drinking alone (or with BF, who was drinking at least as much, and usually more than me) all the time because I didn't want my friends to see how much I really drank.

Weird. I drank to have friends and ended up with none. Some of my new acquaintances are out at the bar. They might have two or three drinks; they're normal grad student types. I can't do it. Last time I tried to do the bar thing was three weeks ago. I was supposed to be the DD. I drank maybe 12 beers, did meth, got pulled over on the way home, and [Your Religious Figure of Choice] only knows how I am not awaiting a court date. (It's kind of embarrassing, actually. I was drunk and high and played it off like a professional... if you're that experienced at drinking and drugging and acting normal, you know it's time to stop).

I think it's normal to feel weird about your partner drinking. My BF and I started recovery together because we knew it wouldn't work for one to use and the other not (but we are both addicted, your partner is not). I asked the roommates I had to not keep beer in the house, and mostly that worked out ok. I bought one of them a little fridge so he could have beer in his room, because he liked to have a beer when he got off work. That way the beer was not in the main fridge so I did not have access to it. When they wanted to party I either stayed in my room or stayed somewhere else. It was my problem and I did not want to impose on them. I think it is reasonable to ask her to not drink around you until you can handle being around it. If she wants to go out with her friends, that's cool.

marty888

Hi Mate, Yeah the weekends are the toughest, mind you I was drinking everyday so I dont know why saturday and sunday are worse than the rest of the week. During the week I went to the pub with a gym buddy and had a couple of diet cokes and that was no struggle, though I know if I went today (saturday afternoon) there is no way I could not drink.
I think its best to avoid the situation until we are stronger and keep posting here.

original

avoidence seems to be the best key right now... Thanks marty.
And thankyou Gneiss.

marty888

BTW good work on the 12 days, the first 2 weeks I found the hardest, you are nearly through them.
Stay strong

firestorm090

The weekends are the real test for any of us who fall into the belief that everyone else is out having a good time, and we're sitting around sipping our tea. I have found it helpful to, as many do here, think through the drink. Think about drunken arguments with you partner, think about spilt beer on the carpet, think about the smell of booze with stale cigarettes in the morning, and remember all those party guys have to wake up with hangovers too. They're human, just like us, and I tried my best to hide my hangovers. so others wouldn't think I couldn't handle my booze. But, in private, I was a mess. I'm sure a lot of those party guys woke up sick, just like I did.

Hang in there this weekend, it does get easier.

Saddler

I've also been wondering what I am going to have in my hand at the social functions I am inevitably going to have to return to at some point. I've heard B vitamins are good for you in recovery, and if you check the back of the can of just about any energy drink, there are lots of B vitamins there. So far my favorite is Amp "Traction" - tastes like Grape soda, not overwhelmingly jittery-making.

Yesterday afternoon instead of picking up a 6-pack of beer on the way home I got 2 Amps and came home and set up my new computer desk, and generally straightened up our rec room. I heard someone else here call this "detoxing your house". Ours is not that bad, but there are SO many things I have let slide/left undone when I used to start projects while drunk then be too hung over the next day to finish them.

Sorry for rambling.

Today is lucky day 13 for me by the way!

Itsmytime

Hi Original,

Last weekend was tough, I drink when I am bored and lonely. My Hubby still drinks, a couple of light beers, but it doesn't bother me. We are going out tonight and there will be drinking there - it's everywhere we go to be honest, all our social circles drink. I will be driving so there should be no questions asked. Still early in my recovery - 9 days, so the habit part is what I am working on now.

Take care,
IMT