TNSC

I am new here. I'll try to not be too long. DH had a problem with cocaine about 3 years ago. He was in denial lied etc. the entire time coming home every night, keeping the bills paid etc. so he is not your typical addict. After bringing in the family was finally able to get him help. It has taken me a long time to get over it along with a lot of prayer. DH has also had a gambling problem off & on etc. Again, nothing about him is the typical sterotype. He's Mr. Clean & neat freak OCD about many things.
Over the last several months I finally made the decision to turn all my worries and anxiety over to God. I have put it there & left it there. I used to drive myself crazy being a PI & would check his phone, e-mails etc. I used to drug test him pretty regular for the first year but after going that long & it always being negative I have stopped doing it. It has been well over a year since testing him. Yes, I have seen little signs in him that make me think yes he's done it but after I have finally stopped driving myself so crazy I've tried to just trust again. That is not always easy. As I said he is not the typical addict & some of the signs they you read about he had but many not. Apart from all the normal signs that you can find on any internet list what else can be going on? His weight is not low like it was before but he does constantly have a stopped up nose & coughs every night. While I haven't searched out right for anything I kind of had some information handed to me that I didn't go looking for. Then adds the confusion is this God's way of trying to tell me to look? I am just so confused. A friend of mine told me that another mutual friend of ours told her that my husband made a comment to a guy friend she was with that DH had asked him if her had any? He knows this guy but he's not anyone that he has ever hung out with or anything. I may be making a mountain out of a mole hill. Has anyone else had a husband or friend that had a drug problem but the normal signs weren't really there? I am not ready to confront him yet, again, I feel like if I have truly put this in Gods hands I should let God show me without being paranoid about something they may not even be going on. Sorry to rattle on.

sailorjohn

welcome!!!

Lot's of reading here in the stickies-threads above the solid blue line in this forum, and elsewhere.

You said cocaine, not sure if you were referring to crack cocaine or powder, crack being a completely different animal. In any event, there's a lot of good reading here also, crack specific but much of it is highly applicable to addiction in general, whatever the doc might be.

Crack Cocaine Addiction Information for Families of Crack Cocaine Addicts

TNSC

It is cocaine. Again oart of his OCD nature any other form would be beneath him. I have a sister that is a major addict to any & everyting. He talks about her like she is scum. The whole time I never had a clue he was capable of doing anything.

BohemiMamaof3

Many of us here have addicted loved ones that are "functional" or "high-functioning" and life is still miserable with them. Some of those that were "functioning" at one point have their addiction escalate, sooner or later, to where it overtakes them.

gotahavfaith

TNSC

I don't really have any advise for you. It sounds like your doing what you have to do. But there are some really good people on here, this forum has saved my sanity. Keep coming back.

Gotahavfaith

jerect

Welcome, I'm so glad that you found us...
There is no such thing as a typical addict..

The signs were there I just did not want to see them or aknowledge them, that way I could pretend that it wasn't happening.. denial was my best friend for a very long time. However, drug use eventually tells on itself.. sometimes it's really soon and other times it takes a while, depends on what type of drug the addict is using and how much denial family members are in..

This my friend is the very best thing that you can do for yourself and your addict. I too used to be the worlds best PI, heck, I could probably give Nancy Drew a run for her money.. however, it was always when I wasn't looking, wasn't obsessing and wasn't confronting my AH about drugs, that my HP would reveal to me everything i needed to know. My HP has never ever failed me, not even once.. and I have faith that if my recovering AH ever picks up again that God will let me know when it's my time to know and he will guide me on what to do next..

Hugs

Jen

TNSC

Thanks for the input from everyone but especially Jen. I think you confirmed what I needed to hear. I have believed since I put this in God's hands that he would guide me and show me everyting exactly as you described when the time is right. I am self employed & have caused my business to suffer countless times from also running a PI agency LOL. When I put this in his hands back in Septmber I have not had any worry or anxiety since then over thes until this week. Maybe I'm being tested to see if I truly meant what I did.
I am so glad I found this board. Maybe I just needed some extra support from those that have been through it.

Hammerhead

TNSC - Good for you....My prayers are with you.

"We are pressed on every side by troubles,
But we are NOT crushed and broken,
We are perplexed,
BUT we DO NOT give up and quit.
We are criticized and hunted down,
But God NEVER abandons us.
We get knocked down,
BUT we get up again and keep going."

:praying