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Taking all the advise here, "baby step" but I'm SO proud of myself today!!



Taking all the advise here, "baby step" but I'm SO proud of myself today!!

Old 03-20-2009, 09:06 PM
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Taking all the advise here, "baby step" but I'm SO proud of myself today!!

I'm bubbling with joy tonight, and since you all have heard all my crying, screaming, etc the past few months, I just HAD to share this.

You all recently told me to focus on myself, do the things I enjoy, etc. But as I mentioned previously, my life has been ruined the past few years by a constant vertigo health issue which KEEPS me from doing the things I love.
I have an Ebay business, and shopping for my business used to be one of my favorite things to do. A store phoned me that is going out of business, and in the "old days" I would drop everything an RUN & shop till I drop....but nowadays stores (the lights, flooring?) make me super dizzy. My 25 year old daughter is good with driving & helping me, but today she had to work and I was afraid if I waited, the stuff would be gone....SO, I gathered my courage up, made sure I got alot of sleep last night, and DROVE MYSELF the 40 minute high traffic distance to this store, shopped for 2 HOURS, and had a wonderful time!! Yes, I was dizzy....the drive there was probably more God than me....I prayed the entire way, and several times was ready to turn around....lol. I was dizzy in the store, but forced myself to laugh & talk to the employees (who were astonished with how much I purchased). After 2 hours, I did get super dizzy & figured it was my signal to stop before I overdid it, and the drive home was difficult....but I made it!! The store's register was one of those that listed "You Saved XXX today"......well, it said I saved over $3,000 !!!!!!! The employees said they thought it was the most ever....lol. I actually only spent $135 including a $20 coat for myself (the rest for resale), but like I said the store is going out of business so I got ALOT of stuff, like 20 bags of stuff. I'm suffering for it now (full blown dizziness), but I am SO proud of myself, and had a fantastic day shopping for my business.

And more great news, I got a letter a few days ago that I finally got approved for low income health insurance......I was on the waiting list for 2 YEARS......SO, I am :praying that SOMEBODY can figure this dizziness out once & for all, and give me my LIFE back!!

As for the ABF issues, they are still the same....he's still quacking about tools left here....lol. The other day he was supposed to pick "some of them" up (claims he couldn't get them all in 1 trip)....didn't show as usual....phoned right as I was leaving for work, and in the process managed to ruffle my feathers.....he did a good job working me up, until my 25 year old daughter ( a master manipulater herself with men...lol) said "Mom, don't you think he KNEW that, did it on purpose to "get to you"....."this has NOTHING to do with tools"......and her words hit me like a ton of bricks....lol. I know you all have mentioned that I should take the tools someplace & dump them off, but honestly I just don't think it's gonna be that easy......he'll get really mad, think of something I missed, or whatever his next tactic will be.....he isn't gonna make this easy no matter what. So after talking with my daughter, I decided that I just need to get hold of MY own emotions, and just play this tool thing out. Someday he'll either get the tools, or not....but meanwhile I just need to STAY COOL and LET GOD handle it.

Thank you for letting me rant....this may not seem like much to you all, but truly it WAS a big baby step for me!!
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Old 03-20-2009, 09:20 PM
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Makes note to self: Hire Anubus to shop for me next time a store is going out of business!

:ghug :ghug
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Old 03-20-2009, 09:57 PM
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Your so sweet Freedom!! Lol.
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Old 03-20-2009, 10:19 PM
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Well I think you're just pretty darned awesome for getting out there today, by yourself, and swooping up all those bargains in spite of the vertigo! I'm proud of you!

I truly hope you get to the bottom of the vertigo now that the insurance has been approved!
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Old 03-20-2009, 10:23 PM
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And you all know the weird part? I loved clearance sale shopping since childhood, but never viewed it as a means of making a living. I just "did it".....when I was young, I just would go to the mall, and look for clearance sales, like something I enjoyed. A HOBBY in teenage years, a neccesity when raising 3 kids on low income.
Well, when my XH left me & I was losing my house, I prayed to God (or HP, whatever you all feel comfortable with)....."HELP......What do i do?? What do I do? I have to pay my mortgage, I'm gonna lose my house, etc." Something "told me" to post on Ebay for help on selling. One woman from CA responded (I live in PA, way across the country)......she told me to start selling clothing....I thought she was NUTS......lol. I mean, I did this all my life, and never viewed it as a talent.......I figured EVERYONE did this.......lol. I never thought it would work. With some trial & error (not saying everything went peachy keen at first), I am now a Powerseller, doing what I LOVE to do....buying clothing on clearance. I do have some wholesale suppliers now too....but the point is, my HP KNEW the perfect job for me, even though I never viewed it as an income prospect!!! If somebody would have told me years ago that I would be an Ebay powerseller, selling clothing (of all things) on Ebay.......I would have blatently told them they were CRAZY.......lol. But GOD, or my HP, KNEW what was best for me. So we just REALLY have to TRUST that HP KNOWS what is right for us, and can do the IMPOSSIBLE. Is that step number 2 or 3??

This dizziness kinda knocked me for a loop right now, right when things were going good...but God/HP must have a reason & answer for THAT too.

This stuff is just AMAZING.....IT WORKS IF YA WORK IT......
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Old 03-21-2009, 01:47 AM
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So after talking with my daughter, I decided that I just need to get hold of MY own emotions, and just play this tool thing out. Someday he'll either get the tools, or not....but meanwhile I just need to STAY COOL and LET GOD handle it.
I'm sorry but this is just 'begging' for him to continue to HARASS you. Send him a bill for storage, give him XX number of days to pay the storage bill and get his tools or they will be sold for money owed.

You are still on the roller coaster with this man and he knows it. If and when you set your boundary this nonsense will stop and not until.

Now you need to look within yourself to see why you have not taken the tools somewhere for him to pick up, be it the church, the police or a third party of another sort. There is no reason for you to keep hanging on to the 'tools' except that it is a hook and a reason for you to have contact with him.

The sooner you get those tools out of your possession the sooner you will start to find some peace and serenity.

J M H O

If in fact they figure out that you do have Vertigo they will probably put you on a daiy dieuretic. My sister has Vertigo and as long as she takes her water pill faithfully every day it keeps it in control. Something about the 'hairs' in the inner ear.

Here's hoping they find out what it is real soon for you!

Love and hugs,
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Old 03-21-2009, 07:33 AM
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thanks laurie6781.....I've already been to alot of doctors including 3 ear specialists who all said there is nothing wrong with my ear, but all 3 had different diagnosis's....one said I have a rare brain stem virus (no cure), one said I had TMJ and sent me to a dentist (no real answers with the dentist either). The 3rd wanted me to go for some $600 test that was gonna make me MORE dizzy (at the time I didn't have the $$ or the courage to be more dizzy). This all started after dental work, so I'm thinking there is some nerve damage or something. If this insurance covers most of the $600, I think I'll try that test this time around. I sure wish they COULD give me just a pill to be able to function. They gave me Meclizine which only makes me tired, does nothing for the dizziness, and tried 2 different anxiety meds which were supposed to help the dizziness & anxiety (that mainly comes from being dizzy/afraid), but both of them make me spacey and I hate that feeling.

And yes, I know....the tool thing is an open door for communication. But I tried all the other stuff several times over the past couple of years. One time I threw all his stuff, clothes, tools, and all....out in the driveway & called and told him what I did, and to pick them up. The stuff sat there for 4 days, got rained on and I finally gave in and brought them back in my breezeway.......ugh. My daughter calls it a peeing contest.....he does this, I do that. He knows I'll do this or that, so he deliberately manipulates to get me worked up. I'm super tired of this "game" so just decided to surrender that to God too.
Also, he has that DUI hearing on April 21. I'm not sure if intends to go or not (he's been running from it since 2004, and if he goes, will probably face a couple months jail time as it's a 2nd offense).....I know it shouldn't matter in my decisions, but for now I think the best thing is to just chill on the tools until I see what happens after April 21st. Just my opinion, it may not be right, but right now I'm too tired to worry about tools anyway.
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Old 03-21-2009, 07:55 AM
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Hi anubus!
Just get the tools out, if it rains, if he does not pick them up, etc. its his problem!
I am glad you went out hope your health improves too.
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Old 03-21-2009, 08:00 AM
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But I tried all the other stuff several times over the past couple of years. One time I threw all his stuff, clothes, tools, and all....out in the driveway & called and told him what I did, and to pick them up. The stuff sat there for 4 days, got rained on and I finally gave in and brought them back in my breezeway.......ugh. My daughter calls it a peeing contest.....he does this, I do that. He knows I'll do this or that, so he deliberately manipulates to get me worked up.
He can't manipulate you if you don't participate. If the tools aren't on your property, there's no reason you need to communicate with him.

Drop them off at the church, and that's the end of the story. Tell whoever at the church if he doesn't pick up his stuff to do whatever with it, that you are no longer responsible and to NOT contact you. The rest is up to him. It's not on your property.

You haven't surrendered it to God; you're still handling it your way.

He can't affect you unless you allow it.
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