TOPIC: Someone Went Back Out Thinking It Was Safe
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
TOPIC: Someone Went Back Out Thinking It Was Safe
Hi Im Sharon and Im an Alcoholic.
Did someone you know go back
out to drink or use after a time
of being clean or sober thinking
it was safe?
How did they explain the reason
for going back out?
Why did they go back out?
What caused them to return
to the drink or drug?
If it were you, what did u
do differently that allowed
u to chose to go back out?
How are you gonna protect
urself from letting this happen
to you again?
Did someone you know go back
out to drink or use after a time
of being clean or sober thinking
it was safe?
How did they explain the reason
for going back out?
Why did they go back out?
What caused them to return
to the drink or drug?
If it were you, what did u
do differently that allowed
u to chose to go back out?
How are you gonna protect
urself from letting this happen
to you again?
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Hi Sharon,
I went back out after 15 yrs sober. The reason, I stopped going to meetings and thought I was okay that if I drank I could do it right this time. WRONG!!!! All the never's happened this time. Lost just about everything that meant anything to me. Most of all I Overdosed (unintentionally) and almost lost the most important thing, MY LIFE. I am back with almost 6 mths (One day at a time) and trying to work a good honest program.
I went back out after 15 yrs sober. The reason, I stopped going to meetings and thought I was okay that if I drank I could do it right this time. WRONG!!!! All the never's happened this time. Lost just about everything that meant anything to me. Most of all I Overdosed (unintentionally) and almost lost the most important thing, MY LIFE. I am back with almost 6 mths (One day at a time) and trying to work a good honest program.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,229
Thank you believe for sharing that
experience here in NEWCOMERS.
Of course this doesnt just apply
to newcomers but for old-timers
like myself too.
No one is exempt from possibly
going back out at anytime or
anywheres in their recovery.
However we can all learn from
each others experiences to not
have to repeat some of the same
mistakes as we once did while
drinking or drugging....
And no....we r not failures if we
make a choice to go back out....
All it shows it that this obsession
to drink or drug can attack us at
anytime....when we r vunerable,
at a low time in our life, we could
be in a good place, or it just reminds
us how much fun we had at the time
yet it was a merry-go-round or
roller-coaster ride of ups and downs
with emotions.
This monster, disease or whatever
u wish to call it that lives inside
us can be put to rest during recovery
one day at a time if we follow some
few principles set down before us .
To listen to each others experiences,
strengths and hopes in recovery of
what it was like during our drinking
or using caeers, what happened to
us while we were out there, then
what happened to us afterwards
when we finally quit, allows others
to draw on that and help them make
positive choice in recovery. Amen.
experience here in NEWCOMERS.
Of course this doesnt just apply
to newcomers but for old-timers
like myself too.
No one is exempt from possibly
going back out at anytime or
anywheres in their recovery.
However we can all learn from
each others experiences to not
have to repeat some of the same
mistakes as we once did while
drinking or drugging....
And no....we r not failures if we
make a choice to go back out....
All it shows it that this obsession
to drink or drug can attack us at
anytime....when we r vunerable,
at a low time in our life, we could
be in a good place, or it just reminds
us how much fun we had at the time
yet it was a merry-go-round or
roller-coaster ride of ups and downs
with emotions.
This monster, disease or whatever
u wish to call it that lives inside
us can be put to rest during recovery
one day at a time if we follow some
few principles set down before us .
To listen to each others experiences,
strengths and hopes in recovery of
what it was like during our drinking
or using caeers, what happened to
us while we were out there, then
what happened to us afterwards
when we finally quit, allows others
to draw on that and help them make
positive choice in recovery. Amen.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
This is a thread I will be watching closely, I always listen intently when I hear some body make it back into the rooms after relapsing because they are helping me to not relapse by sharing what led to thiers.
I was 52 when I got sober, I am 55 now and I am not sure I have another recovery in these bones, I would be better off grabbing a gun then a bottle today, it would get the job done quicker and with far less pain for myself and every one around me.
I was 52 when I got sober, I am 55 now and I am not sure I have another recovery in these bones, I would be better off grabbing a gun then a bottle today, it would get the job done quicker and with far less pain for myself and every one around me.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
I quit for three weeks after I was taken to the ER almost dead from alcohol poisoning. I still have the scar on my hand from the IV line. I went back out.. drank, and within a week returned to the way I was before the hospital stay. It didn't scare me sober..
Fast forward a month or 2, showed up at work tipsy, by then I developed a new and luckily short lived habit of taking a few shots before work, to kill the withdrawal from the night before.. I was found out. Thank goodness. I haven't drank since.. mandatory counseling, solid committment for sobriety in place, I threw my hands up, I can't drink moderately, it's too much brain damage (figuratively AND literally) for me to try, I'm SO happy that's behind me. What did I do different this time? Well for one, I was just ready, done.. my drinking career was over, I retired. I got into counseling with a push from my employer and my husband. I haven't had a craving since, and now I know what it's like to delude myself into thinking that alcohol can continue being part of my life.
Sober just over 90 days now, and I never want to look back.
Fast forward a month or 2, showed up at work tipsy, by then I developed a new and luckily short lived habit of taking a few shots before work, to kill the withdrawal from the night before.. I was found out. Thank goodness. I haven't drank since.. mandatory counseling, solid committment for sobriety in place, I threw my hands up, I can't drink moderately, it's too much brain damage (figuratively AND literally) for me to try, I'm SO happy that's behind me. What did I do different this time? Well for one, I was just ready, done.. my drinking career was over, I retired. I got into counseling with a push from my employer and my husband. I haven't had a craving since, and now I know what it's like to delude myself into thinking that alcohol can continue being part of my life.
Sober just over 90 days now, and I never want to look back.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I first went to AA in 2002, alcohol was ruining my life and nearly cost me my job. But then I decided I wasn't as bad off as "those people" in AA that I could have just 1-2 glasses of wine. So I went back out and very very quickly it was back to the 1-2 BOTTLES of wine daily, alone. I've now been sober for 18 months and going back is not an option for me since I wound up in the hospital in Aug '07 from a prescription drug overdose while on a binge which tore a hole in my liver and was denied a liver transplant due to "evidence of alcolohism", heck I can never even take tylenol products again-that and/or alcohol would be a death sentence for me. My dog died while I was hospitalized from the overdose and I blame partially myself, my mom died 5 months after my overdose and although I apologized over the phone to her I never got to see her before she died- my daughter has let me back into her life and into my grandkids lives and I have support through AA ; AND I'm deathly afraid of alcohol now, even the smell. I will die some day, we all will but it will not be an alcoholic suicide for me and that is how I intend to continue thinking of alcohol for me alcohol=suicide.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
14 years. Actually have a photographic record of the day, and I remember the event very clearly, it started with one beer. Took me 5 years to get back. I remember that insane little whisper in my head, you can have one, you only drank too much because you weren't well-adjusted-I remember that phrase bouncing around in my head.
WTF does well-adjusted mean? How insane is that, it wasn't like I was well-adjusted at the time. How I protect myself today, I don't forget what happened at the start, and I don't think I'm gonna forget what it was like at the end, I don't ever want to go back to that place. And I'm a member of that nice little group of people that have the exact same problem I do.
WTF does well-adjusted mean? How insane is that, it wasn't like I was well-adjusted at the time. How I protect myself today, I don't forget what happened at the start, and I don't think I'm gonna forget what it was like at the end, I don't ever want to go back to that place. And I'm a member of that nice little group of people that have the exact same problem I do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
I went back out there knowing without a shadow of a doubt, that it would be dangerous...I kept telling myself I would drink responsibly...
Of course the responsible thing would have been not to drink at all...
As someone said, we don't know how many times we will get a chance to get sober again with each relapse...
I pray that I will not go back out there again. I have learned from my relapses that it doesn't get better.
Of course the responsible thing would have been not to drink at all...
As someone said, we don't know how many times we will get a chance to get sober again with each relapse...
I pray that I will not go back out there again. I have learned from my relapses that it doesn't get better.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
This is a timely thread. One of my sponsees who had been sober over three years called me yesterday after a 2 day bender/blackout. She's an insulin dependent diabetic, and her blood sugar was 500. She was vomiting, still reeked of alcohol, and having suicidal thoughts.
Where did she go wrong? By her own admission, she stopped working the program of AA. It had moved to the bottom of her priority list. She had become a perpetual people-pleaser and workaholic. She was stretched so thin she was on the verge of collapse. Her meeting attendance was sporadic at best. She was not working any steps, did not read the big book at all, no morning meditation, and had forgotten where she came from.
Despite feeling like death warmed over, she attended AA with me last night. She has a lot of work ahead of her.
She says she is willing to do anything to say sober this time. Time will tell.
Where did she go wrong? By her own admission, she stopped working the program of AA. It had moved to the bottom of her priority list. She had become a perpetual people-pleaser and workaholic. She was stretched so thin she was on the verge of collapse. Her meeting attendance was sporadic at best. She was not working any steps, did not read the big book at all, no morning meditation, and had forgotten where she came from.
Despite feeling like death warmed over, she attended AA with me last night. She has a lot of work ahead of her.
She says she is willing to do anything to say sober this time. Time will tell.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 811
Last September I quit for a month...it was pure bliss. I didn't crave alcohol at all, didn't even notice when I walked by the wine aisle in the grocery store. Then...one night out with a friend I decided it was safe to have a glass of wine...and it progressed from there. I am actually on day 1 again after 5 months. I didn't drink constantly during that time, but I drank pretty much every day. Some days it was a couple glasses, some days it was a couple bottles. I just don't want to drink at all anymore. I am tired of my brain just not working and being in a fog.
I've decided (I heard it somewhere before) that I am just allergic to alcohol and need to stay away 100%.
I am trying to find something else to be obsessed about and I think that will be getting into good shape, eating good, getting my blood pressure down. When I quit drinking last time within 7 days it went from 140/90 to 118/78. Amazing. With spring coming it is motivating to get in shape for summer!
Thanks for the thread!
I've decided (I heard it somewhere before) that I am just allergic to alcohol and need to stay away 100%.
I am trying to find something else to be obsessed about and I think that will be getting into good shape, eating good, getting my blood pressure down. When I quit drinking last time within 7 days it went from 140/90 to 118/78. Amazing. With spring coming it is motivating to get in shape for summer!
Thanks for the thread!
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
When I went back out after 15 yrs, I remember just walking by a bartender at a big party and I had been to parties in recovery before, but this time the bartender asked can I get you a drink and I answered YES I'll HAVE A MARTINI, God, I never even drank a martini. Well the rest was history.
I KNOW I do not have another relapse in me, I overdosed and next time it is certain death for me. I do not want to try it just to see. I AM COMPLETELY POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. I am back in AA and loving every meeting. I now go to detox and share my experience, strength and hope with those there. Because I was once there and I need to keep reminding myself of that.
This is a great Thread. I will definitely be back to read the posts.
I KNOW I do not have another relapse in me, I overdosed and next time it is certain death for me. I do not want to try it just to see. I AM COMPLETELY POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL AND DRUGS. I am back in AA and loving every meeting. I now go to detox and share my experience, strength and hope with those there. Because I was once there and I need to keep reminding myself of that.
This is a great Thread. I will definitely be back to read the posts.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 331
Yup went back to drinking after almost coming to blows with someone at a meeting about drinking, i guess i fell down hard because i was abusing drinking all night every night. Then cut down to weekends, then went on a binge over the Christmas holidays drinking almost all 2 weeks in a row. Now 12 lbs lighter, stronger and more mentally fit i am where i am.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: snowywinterland
Posts: 9
I also after 24 blessed yrs decided one day , ok I am cured, had a terrible craving and gave in.My life was so much better being clean&sober,i used to say NEVER WOULD I PICK UP THE BOTTLE AGAIN well sitting on the deck i chose a drink i had not chose before , 2 winer coolers that day = 2 months of on and off drinking,I ask myself y had I given up my soberty? the answer was I wanted to feel different, alot of stress in the past years on different reasons it just built up I know everyone has stress, no EXCUSE I TOLD MYSLEF so i chose to be sober, drunkfree, I did not want to let myself down and I did, I let my hubby down who has been clean for 24 yrs plus months,I let my family worry about me! how SELFISH I was, how brave I felt thinkn i could have be cured
I woke up and did a rethink, no way did i want to wake up sick,or disapoint my family peeps I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART&LIFE so from that day THANKING GOD,MY FAMILY FOR HELPING ME GET THU THAT TEST I DID TO MYSELF,I Know NOW that I am Not cured nor ever can i drink lightly, or social, I change the channel of my mind with prayers, meditation, when the urge hits, I want good in my life, I Pray I will not test myself ever again, so I take oneminute at a time and live peace&love
I woke up and did a rethink, no way did i want to wake up sick,or disapoint my family peeps I LOVE WITH ALL MY HEART&LIFE so from that day THANKING GOD,MY FAMILY FOR HELPING ME GET THU THAT TEST I DID TO MYSELF,I Know NOW that I am Not cured nor ever can i drink lightly, or social, I change the channel of my mind with prayers, meditation, when the urge hits, I want good in my life, I Pray I will not test myself ever again, so I take oneminute at a time and live peace&love
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
l started again after 133 days. l just wanted that nice warm buzz and the feeling that all is right in the world because l missed it.
l had a horrible 3 week bender and thought l would die.
Now, after 33 day dry again, l get thoughts like, ' Oh.. just have 2 before you go to bed... nothing can happen then.." Or "l'll do it differently this time"
how stupid can you get ?
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)
l had a horrible 3 week bender and thought l would die.
Now, after 33 day dry again, l get thoughts like, ' Oh.. just have 2 before you go to bed... nothing can happen then.." Or "l'll do it differently this time"
how stupid can you get ?
One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
Nancy Astor (1879 - 1964)
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
When I first came into the rooms there was a gentleman with 20 years, he really seemed to have it all together, then I quit seeing him at meetings......... not sure what led to his relapse after 22 years.......... he is still out there. Within 6 months of starting to drink again he had 2 DWIs I know of and would have had 3 but the cop felt sorry for him when he totalled his motorcycle. The last I heard of him he was so angry at the world that he told a freind of his to "Go "F" yourself, I do not care that you care about me!". I pray he makes it back.
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