SHawk25

She emailed me yesterday. She went back to her hometown for the weekend to get away. She says she is an angry person right now, angry with herself for lettings things go on. And angry with me for not really trying to fix my problem sooner. She doesn't know what she wants to do about us. She tries to think about us getting back together, but our relationship is tainted now.

She is going to see a therapist to talk to.. On top of the problems she has from me and my drinking problem. (I wasted alot of money, was lazy around the house and basically with her) She has had 4 deaths in her family in the past 3 years.. Plus her dad moved back to their hometown which is 3 hours away. Family wise she only has her brother, problematic sister, and myself here. Another reason why I feel so bad for failing her.

She left me a note and an email this morning about different bills and such. All are very impersonal. But I know this is what I deserve from her right now, any contact from her now is nice.

I'm trying very hard to focus on my bright and sober future. I am excited to go through my life sober and appreciate and enjoy things. But I'm still having a hard time with myself knowing how much I hurt her in the past. I just hope and pray she can forgive me.

prettypoison

I hope she can forgive you too... I had a marriage fail due to drug addiction (on his part) so I understand both sides. You're doing the right thing by staying sober. I'm hoping you both reunite in time :praying

Believe808

I hope you are getting sober for yourself and not for her.

parentrecovers

sounds like she is taking care of herself. it's great that she is going to a therapist.

what about you? any counseling or aa meetings?

hugs, k

SHawk25

Yes I am doing this for myself..

And no AA classes, no formal couseling.. Just this site and a friend of mine holds classes for teens that have drinking problems. We've been talking..

My recovery from drinking is going great..

Maggot4Life

I havn't attended any AA classes either myself, this forum is amazing and his helping me alot in my recovery. I also have some close friends that are also helping me out so thats awesome.

Anna

I hope she forgives you too Shawk.

But, that doesn't necessarily mean things will work out between you two. That's why it's good that you are focused on yourself and your sober life. If the relationship is meant to work out, it will. I think it's part of the 'letting go' aspect of recovery and I know it's hard.

SHawk25

I agree.. I have no intentions of going to AA or getting formal counseling. if my recovery is going well, no need to change of fix it.. If I'm having problems then I will do so. Until then I staying my course.. Not putting down AA just don't think everyone has to take that route..

Also I am prepared in case she doesn't want to regain our relationship.. I'll still be a stronger and better person.. I will be a good person without her. But I still do hope she comes back, we had a great relationship when I wasn't drinking..

original

Good for you Shawk... it takes a hell of a lot of guts to say the things you have here. I know no more than anyone else here, but I would say - just give her time. I really hope it works out for you bud.

Stay strong

Richard54

I hope it works out for you too Shawk.

All of us here have lost plenty of things due to alcoholism/addiction.

In a way, her leaving you is a blessing, in that it has woken you up to change.

Don't let this opportunity pass you by, even if you don't get back together.

Sometimes you just have to let the chips fall buddy.

I know you're not into AA (neither am I), but I'm sure you have heard of this:

"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference."