lovemykids

She looked so great. She is still having cravings but nothing compared to when she was first admitted into rehab.

I am so thankful that she is getting the help she needs.

I did find out a few new things though, it is part of the healing to come clean with things she did/wittnessed in the past etc.... A couple of things were horrifying and I now make sure my doors are locked at night which is always a good idea anyhow even while living in a small community.

Her next outing is in a couple of weekends for 12 hours, we have to take another child from rehab when we take her, it is the rules they call it shotgun.

I received a call from my Son last night, he has been binge drinking every weekend. He wasn't drinking when he called me but was crying and said he hit rock bottom. He is going to go to an AA meeting, I called today to remind him, I will call everyday to remind him (he doesn't live close to us).

My youngest daughter is doing better since I have kept her in my sight pretty much 24/7 unless she is in school.

I am starting to question myself and thinking that maybe it is my fault that my three children are having problems with either drugs or alcohol....I still havn't cried , it is like I am living in a fog except for when I am at work, thank goodness for work. I keep racking my brain trying to figure out why all three kids? I keep thinking how we never hit them except for when my son was 10 and being rude so I smacked his bottom once and my hand stung as he had jeans on and our ad when she was 12, she was in a rage and threw a stool in the kitchen so hard it went into the living room and almost hit the t.v, my husband smacked her bottom three times, she didn't even cry. My husband and I have never called our kids a bad name, they were always involved in sports and school activities, we always went to their games etc...I could go on and on but it just doesn't seem to change the fact that they all need help.

Hope everyone here is doing well, I have to catch up on posts, I am keeping you all in my prayers.

Done_With_It

If you are really thinking or believing this or anything like it had anything to do with it,
maybe read or glance at the book "A Child Called It" by Dave Pelzer.
that may help you to understand that you didn't cause this.
Some people are are so severely abused they almost die, but they grow up winning awards and meeting President of the United States. It is what it is, but it's not your fault.

I am glad to hear she is doing better, that is great and really glad your son is ready to get help. Big hugs to you! Go easy on yourself, okay!
If you had the power to make us use, then you would have the power to make us stop.
It's just life. Your kids are strong, they are growing their wings just like their Mom taught them..... They'll be okay.....

NeedingHelp7

lovemykids, Please don't blame yourself. Spanking your children didn't cause it. Addiction can happen if there is a history or generations of alcohol and drug addiction in the family. Sometimes it's the older child that starts the younger siblings on drugs, or alcohol. Sometimes it's peer pressure, they experiment with a drug, and next thing you know they get hooked. And sometimes it's the environment the children are growing up seeing, alcohol and drugs being done by parents. These children are at higher risk for addiction later in life.

I would pray that God stop/break/cast out the generational thing that seems to have happened with your children. The good thing is is that you have two children seeking help.

NH7

outtolunch

I am one of those who sees something in the theory of a genetic disposition to alcohol given similar outcomes with twins raised in very different enviorments. You can lock any two people up and ply them with alcohol for months on end and chances are, it will never be enough for one of them and the other can take it or leave it.

I think drugs are a different story. Put enough narcotic into anyone and they will acquire an addiction. The only thing that makes me any different from an addict is that I am not going to try.

It's all about proximity with drugs. It's often cheaper and easier for kids to come by than alcohol and more easily hidden.

The whole " rehab thing" is viewed as a right of passage for so many kids.
And of course, they cannot concieve of the consequenses. It's too easy to seek a high as an alternative to dealing with real life.

This shotgun pass thing is curious. Are two recoverying addicts more likely to stay clean on a shot gun pass than a solo? At the end of the day, it probably does not matter much. What matters is their own commitment to sobriety, or not.

Freedom1990

I would highly encourage you to start attending Alanon and/or get some counseling for yourself to resolve these issues of guilt you are feeling.

I had many painful experiences in a lot of my decisions regarding my oldest daughter being tainted by the guilt I felt over things being my fault.

It was so subtle I didn't even realize I was making decisions based on the guilt that I felt. They were decisions that were not in her best interest, but rather on trying to soothe my own guilt.

:ghug :ghug

kj3880

Yeah, it's not your fault. My daughter is in college, and never tried drugs. But my son is 16 and was caught smoking pot last week at school. I started to ask myself "what did I do wrong?" but then I remembered that I raised both children the same way, and they just make different choices. God gives all of us free will. Your children show you that every day, sometimes much to their detriment.
Love,
KJ

lovemykids

When I asked about the shotgun it is so that they have someone with them to stay accountable for or if they need to talk to someone if they are having cravings etc they are right there and can relate.

I would rather have family time with my ad but this must work, they have been doing this for some time.

This will be ongoing everytime ad has a pass or comes home for a weekend or for a week which won't happen for a while though.

Thank you, the man that is holding the meetings for ad children told me the other day that he is more worried about our younger daughter drinking then doing drugs right now. I am sure if given the opportunity however she would do drugs, I find it hard to trust/believe anything she says at this time. There is a lot of alcoholism in my husband and my family. My husbands only sibling passed away 4 years ago at the age of 39 from alcohol, her husband passed away from alcohol abuse 12 months prior at the age of 43. They left behind two wonderful children at that time age 12 and 15. My grandmother who brought me up was an alcoholic and as I mentioned in a post my husband and I could put away the beer although that is not the case now. I stopped buying my beer on the weekends period and my husband has been drinking non alcohol beer for months now.

There are no alanon meetings in which I can attend here in my area, I live in a french province and I do not speak french, at least not fluently. I might ask the man who gives the children their meetings if sometime we can go for a coffee, in my case tea and talk.

You all are all that I have here and you have all been such a blessing

I can't get into the chat room here, everytime I try my computer will freeze up. I don't know why though.

Thanks again to all, by reading about your experiences has helped a lot, there is so much that I can relate to, I really do feel your pain.