My near death experience at age 22
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 102
My near death experience at age 22
Just wanted introduce myself and share my recent visit to the hospital. I am a 22 year old college student...Ive been drinking pretty much Friday and Saturdays since I was around 16 years old. I never really drank during the weekdays, but occasionaly would go into an uncontrollable binge. Ive had withdrawals before and knew it was only time until the next. Well after this latest binge which lasted over 7 days of 12-30 beers (Ice beers) on no food I decided it was time to stop and expected withdrawals. But this one took me to a near death experience I will never forget and hopedully it will change my life forever....
Sorry for the sentences and the writing, it is just off the top of my head.
Just this past Monday I ended up unctrollably shaking to the point that I was not under control of myself. I knew something was definitely wrong and knew I needed to go to the hospital, so I called up a friend. Speaking was difficult and every step was difficult because my body was shaking so bad..Luckily my friend was around or I wouldve had to call the ambulance. He came and picked me up and I was so delirious of everything, had no idea what was going on. He had to help walk me to his car and it felt like years until we got to the ER.
I walked into the ER seeing a ton of people and freaking out, and demanded something be done now or else I am going to die. Literally my heart was about to explode. The guy tried signing me in but I could not even hold the pen. Then right after that they took me into the nurses room where they ask questions and take BP. I straight up told them I am going to die I am going to DTs from drinking alcohol. This lady asked why I drank so much? At that time I was like please help me do you not see me. My blood pressure was 180/110. They then helped walk my unctrollable body to a gerney.
Some nurses scattered around me while I was shaking on the bed, sticking needles in my arm and everything. I was hooked up to a EEG or EKG whatever monitors my heart. I was so delirious of everything, they told me they were giving me something to calm me down (Atvian) and injected 1mg, which did not work so they injected another 1mg of Atvian before they started taking all kinds of blood. Finally my body stopped shaking.
The doctor came in and just asked questions about my drinking history and I told him the truth. He just ordered the nurses to take a bunch of tests for him and left. I laid in that bed being pumped full of sodium chloride while they ran the tests. Finally I ended up having to stay overnight which I wanted.
The doctor pretty much just said it is DTs and then lectured on my liver and getting help when I get out of here.
So there I am, 22 years of age, laying in the ICU calmed only from the Atvian. No matter how much Atvian they injected me with, I could not sleep.
Next morning comes, I start hearing hallucinations (actually songs) and slight visual hallucinations. My pupils have been dialted since about the 4th day into my weeklong binge on an empty stomach. They were definitely playing tricks with me. They served me breakfast which I found I could eat. They took me from the ICU down to the regular part where they just kepted pumping me with fluids. The new doctor came in to check on me and was really nice and understanding, he talked with me for awhile about more than just drinking, etc. I told him I felt a lot better and wanted to leave today (no insurance :-( ) and he said he would check on all my stuff throughout the day and after I eat dinner he will make a decision.
So I finally ended up sleeping (I guess it was), but everytime I closed my eyes it was horrific evil images. I convinced the doctor I was fine to go home under my own care and he prescribed me some Atvian just in case.
I end up leaving the hosptial and still feel somewhat delirious and lost, but feel 100% better. I get back to my apartment and try and relax and cant so I pop a Atvian. I end up taking some over the counter nighttime sleep aid along with some Atvian which puts me into "hell." But before this, I started hearing voices from everything in my house, threatening voices like the devil talking against me. Anyways, I wanted to sleep so I just popped those pills and fall asleep fine. MInutes in I am in hell dreaming a horrific nightmare where something like the devil is controlling me and causing me to have these terrible dreams. I wake up scared at one point with my heart pounding, but I am so tired I tell myself I will face the demon in my sleep and conquor him no matter how scary he is. So I fall back asleep and he is there again trying everything to what would seem "kill" me. I would no allow it and at one point I think I was having a seizure on my bed bouncing up and down trying to attack this demon. Eventually it gets to the end where he says "you are dead" and my mind goes blank. Scariest moment of my life. I immedialtey wake up and examine my surroundings to make sure I am alive. I see everything is fine and decide I am going to set up my webcam to see if I do have a seizure when I go back to sleep. I planned on fighting the demon again but this time I went to sleep and he was not there, except it was like a horrific dream where these evil looking guy wanted to end the world and at one point it ended and thats when my mind went blank again. I woke up to see everything is fine. Eventually I fall asleep again and this dream is actually somewhat "neat" it is like I am director the movie of this guys destruction, but since I had control I felt fine.
For the next few days, I could barely stand to eat and had some intense dreams and still do until today. It has now been 6 days since my last drink, 5 days since my DTs and I am now starting to feel a tad better. I plan on getting up tomorrow, working out, and getting back on with my life without ever having to experience that again. I am going to contact our school counseling program on Monday to set up some talks and hopefully will get up the courage to go to AA(I am extremely shy, I almost had a panic attack thinking of it).
I just wanted to share this story to you all that even at 22 alcohol can kill. For the most part I drank on the weekends with my friends and that was it, but would occasionally go on one of these long insane binges without food or water, just straight liquor and beer. I am an alcohol and I seek to end the "demon."
Sorry for the sentences and the writing, it is just off the top of my head.
Just this past Monday I ended up unctrollably shaking to the point that I was not under control of myself. I knew something was definitely wrong and knew I needed to go to the hospital, so I called up a friend. Speaking was difficult and every step was difficult because my body was shaking so bad..Luckily my friend was around or I wouldve had to call the ambulance. He came and picked me up and I was so delirious of everything, had no idea what was going on. He had to help walk me to his car and it felt like years until we got to the ER.
I walked into the ER seeing a ton of people and freaking out, and demanded something be done now or else I am going to die. Literally my heart was about to explode. The guy tried signing me in but I could not even hold the pen. Then right after that they took me into the nurses room where they ask questions and take BP. I straight up told them I am going to die I am going to DTs from drinking alcohol. This lady asked why I drank so much? At that time I was like please help me do you not see me. My blood pressure was 180/110. They then helped walk my unctrollable body to a gerney.
Some nurses scattered around me while I was shaking on the bed, sticking needles in my arm and everything. I was hooked up to a EEG or EKG whatever monitors my heart. I was so delirious of everything, they told me they were giving me something to calm me down (Atvian) and injected 1mg, which did not work so they injected another 1mg of Atvian before they started taking all kinds of blood. Finally my body stopped shaking.
The doctor came in and just asked questions about my drinking history and I told him the truth. He just ordered the nurses to take a bunch of tests for him and left. I laid in that bed being pumped full of sodium chloride while they ran the tests. Finally I ended up having to stay overnight which I wanted.
The doctor pretty much just said it is DTs and then lectured on my liver and getting help when I get out of here.
So there I am, 22 years of age, laying in the ICU calmed only from the Atvian. No matter how much Atvian they injected me with, I could not sleep.
Next morning comes, I start hearing hallucinations (actually songs) and slight visual hallucinations. My pupils have been dialted since about the 4th day into my weeklong binge on an empty stomach. They were definitely playing tricks with me. They served me breakfast which I found I could eat. They took me from the ICU down to the regular part where they just kepted pumping me with fluids. The new doctor came in to check on me and was really nice and understanding, he talked with me for awhile about more than just drinking, etc. I told him I felt a lot better and wanted to leave today (no insurance :-( ) and he said he would check on all my stuff throughout the day and after I eat dinner he will make a decision.
So I finally ended up sleeping (I guess it was), but everytime I closed my eyes it was horrific evil images. I convinced the doctor I was fine to go home under my own care and he prescribed me some Atvian just in case.
I end up leaving the hosptial and still feel somewhat delirious and lost, but feel 100% better. I get back to my apartment and try and relax and cant so I pop a Atvian. I end up taking some over the counter nighttime sleep aid along with some Atvian which puts me into "hell." But before this, I started hearing voices from everything in my house, threatening voices like the devil talking against me. Anyways, I wanted to sleep so I just popped those pills and fall asleep fine. MInutes in I am in hell dreaming a horrific nightmare where something like the devil is controlling me and causing me to have these terrible dreams. I wake up scared at one point with my heart pounding, but I am so tired I tell myself I will face the demon in my sleep and conquor him no matter how scary he is. So I fall back asleep and he is there again trying everything to what would seem "kill" me. I would no allow it and at one point I think I was having a seizure on my bed bouncing up and down trying to attack this demon. Eventually it gets to the end where he says "you are dead" and my mind goes blank. Scariest moment of my life. I immedialtey wake up and examine my surroundings to make sure I am alive. I see everything is fine and decide I am going to set up my webcam to see if I do have a seizure when I go back to sleep. I planned on fighting the demon again but this time I went to sleep and he was not there, except it was like a horrific dream where these evil looking guy wanted to end the world and at one point it ended and thats when my mind went blank again. I woke up to see everything is fine. Eventually I fall asleep again and this dream is actually somewhat "neat" it is like I am director the movie of this guys destruction, but since I had control I felt fine.
For the next few days, I could barely stand to eat and had some intense dreams and still do until today. It has now been 6 days since my last drink, 5 days since my DTs and I am now starting to feel a tad better. I plan on getting up tomorrow, working out, and getting back on with my life without ever having to experience that again. I am going to contact our school counseling program on Monday to set up some talks and hopefully will get up the courage to go to AA(I am extremely shy, I almost had a panic attack thinking of it).
I just wanted to share this story to you all that even at 22 alcohol can kill. For the most part I drank on the weekends with my friends and that was it, but would occasionally go on one of these long insane binges without food or water, just straight liquor and beer. I am an alcohol and I seek to end the "demon."
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
This experience does not ever have to be repeated again. I certainly can identify--it's been a few years...but I too had a similar experience. I believe this post will help alot of people. Thanks for sharing. We do recover. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
get that courage to go to AA my friend.....or any other program for that matter...
As has been said....this never has to be repeated..
Delerium tremens.....is no walk in the park....i have seen things and heard things i never want to experience again..
I found the solution in AA......and i dont drink today...
trucker
As has been said....this never has to be repeated..
Delerium tremens.....is no walk in the park....i have seen things and heard things i never want to experience again..
I found the solution in AA......and i dont drink today...
trucker
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
A very powerful message ...thanks for sharing ..
I'm so glad you went to the ER and will be seeing a counselor.
AA? it's an awesome adventure in sober living....
Welcome to our recovery community
I'm so glad you went to the ER and will be seeing a counselor.
AA? it's an awesome adventure in sober living....
Welcome to our recovery community
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 652
been there, done that
Only scary thing was, that a few months later when l was feeling a whole lot better, l thought "Ahhh.. it wasn't all that bad... lets have another try and this time l'll be more carefull..." Yeah... right...back to ER in 3 days again..
How stupid can alcohol make us ?
How stupid can alcohol make us ?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: San Diego, CA
Posts: 87
It's amazing how we don't think alcohol can hurt us. The main reason I am not drinking now is because of the dehydration and liver pains I had from my last binge. I look back at my college days and am amazed I am alive. I can remember going on spring break to Lake Havasu and partying on a house boat everyday for 7 days. I would drink from first thing in the morning till late at night and barely drank any water. When you associate alcohol with pain, it really makes it easy not to drink.
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
Welcome to SR Future.
That is one scary story and I am glad that so far it has a happy ending in the fact that you are recuperating.
I come here for my support in quitting drinking and that helps me.
Good luck in finding the help you need to make sure you don't ever have to go through anything like that again. I can't even imagine how it must have been.
That is one scary story and I am glad that so far it has a happy ending in the fact that you are recuperating.
I come here for my support in quitting drinking and that helps me.
Good luck in finding the help you need to make sure you don't ever have to go through anything like that again. I can't even imagine how it must have been.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Welcome Future22,
I am glad you are here. The good news is that there is a solution for the problem is spite of the fact that alcoholism never goes away and is a progressive disease. It is great that you are asking for help, there is a lot of people here who have experienced what you have and are free from alcohol today.
It is true that the mind seems to have a selective memory and after a while of not drinking we feel much better and start to remember how alcohol made us feel more comfortable at first. So now is the time to take action while the memory of what happened is fresh in the mind.
I found out after I joined AA that there are many young people who are members of AA that have been sober for years. They are inspirational.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
I am glad you are here. The good news is that there is a solution for the problem is spite of the fact that alcoholism never goes away and is a progressive disease. It is great that you are asking for help, there is a lot of people here who have experienced what you have and are free from alcohol today.
It is true that the mind seems to have a selective memory and after a while of not drinking we feel much better and start to remember how alcohol made us feel more comfortable at first. So now is the time to take action while the memory of what happened is fresh in the mind.
I found out after I joined AA that there are many young people who are members of AA that have been sober for years. They are inspirational.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
A new dawn and new chapter
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Kansas City, Missouri
Posts: 298
That's some scary ass s**t there! I think after anyone went through a ordeal like that there's no hope of ever seeing a horror movie or walking through a Halloween haunted house that would scare you!
I'm glad you're doing alright now and you're on the right track by kicking the booze out of your life. I would say copy and print your story and carry it with you at all times. So that way days, weeks, months or years down the road you all of a sudden feel like having some drinks again you pull that out as a reminder of where you were!
I'm glad you're doing alright now and you're on the right track by kicking the booze out of your life. I would say copy and print your story and carry it with you at all times. So that way days, weeks, months or years down the road you all of a sudden feel like having some drinks again you pull that out as a reminder of where you were!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Welcome, and thanks for your post!
I am so glad that you went to the hospital and that you are feeling better now. My withdrawls when I stopped drinking were pretty bad too, and what got me through it, was knowing that I never had to go through it again.
I am so glad that you went to the hospital and that you are feeling better now. My withdrawls when I stopped drinking were pretty bad too, and what got me through it, was knowing that I never had to go through it again.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 396
I'm with Bard. Definitely copy that letter. It will help you later.
Welcome aboard, hope to hear from you often!
If you go to a meeting, it may be scary at first, but they are generally very understanding because there are alot of people like you there. Tell someone it's your first meeting and they should help you. You can just sit there and listen, that's what I did. I also went to one with a speaker, because I didn't want to be around a general discussion meeting. And I was surprised that the "speaker" is just another Joe Shmo like me telling his story, not some "expert" preaching.
Good luck!
Belinda
Welcome aboard, hope to hear from you often!
If you go to a meeting, it may be scary at first, but they are generally very understanding because there are alot of people like you there. Tell someone it's your first meeting and they should help you. You can just sit there and listen, that's what I did. I also went to one with a speaker, because I didn't want to be around a general discussion meeting. And I was surprised that the "speaker" is just another Joe Shmo like me telling his story, not some "expert" preaching.
Good luck!
Belinda
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 102
Originally Posted by penny74 
Only scary thing was, that a few months later when l was feeling a whole lot better, l thought "Ahhh.. it wasn't all that bad... lets have another try and this time l'll be more carefull..." Yeah... right...back to ER in 3 days again..
How stupid can alcohol make us ?
How stupid can alcohol make us ?
Originally Posted by nibroc
OP, my heart is out for your. I'm f'ck up right now, but I want to at least be where you are. I almost had tears reading your post.
I wrote on my dry erase board earlier "JOIN LIFE."
I hope you and I do.
I wrote on my dry erase board earlier "JOIN LIFE."
I hope you and I do.
Originally Posted by Dime
Welcome Future22,
I am glad you are here. The good news is that there is a solution for the problem is spite of the fact that alcoholism never goes away and is a progressive disease. It is great that you are asking for help, there is a lot of people here who have experienced what you have and are free from alcohol today.
It is true that the mind seems to have a selective memory and after a while of not drinking we feel much better and start to remember how alcohol made us feel more comfortable at first. So now is the time to take action while the memory of what happened is fresh in the mind.
I found out after I joined AA that there are many young people who are members of AA that have been sober for years. They are inspirational.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
I am glad you are here. The good news is that there is a solution for the problem is spite of the fact that alcoholism never goes away and is a progressive disease. It is great that you are asking for help, there is a lot of people here who have experienced what you have and are free from alcohol today.
It is true that the mind seems to have a selective memory and after a while of not drinking we feel much better and start to remember how alcohol made us feel more comfortable at first. So now is the time to take action while the memory of what happened is fresh in the mind.
I found out after I joined AA that there are many young people who are members of AA that have been sober for years. They are inspirational.
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing.
I will try and keep in touch. Will like to use this forum as a way to help me stay sober. I am glad to hear that there are young people in AA and hopefully I can become one of the inspirational ones.
Originally Posted by Bard
That's some scary ass s**t there! I think after anyone went through a ordeal like that there's no hope of ever seeing a horror movie or walking through a Halloween haunted house that would scare you!
I'm glad you're doing alright now and you're on the right track by kicking the booze out of your life. I would say copy and print your story and carry it with you at all times. So that way days, weeks, months or years down the road you all of a sudden feel like having some drinks again you pull that out as a reminder of where you were!
I'm glad you're doing alright now and you're on the right track by kicking the booze out of your life. I would say copy and print your story and carry it with you at all times. So that way days, weeks, months or years down the road you all of a sudden feel like having some drinks again you pull that out as a reminder of where you were!
Yeah that was the most horrific moment of my life and think I can go through anything after that. It seriously felt like there was a demon inside of me. I thought I was going schizophrenic. But, that is good advice about printing my story and keeping it with me at all times. Thanks.
Originally Posted by mamabin
I'm with Bard. Definitely copy that letter. It will help you later.
Welcome aboard, hope to hear from you often!
If you go to a meeting, it may be scary at first, but they are generally very understanding because there are alot of people like you there. Tell someone it's your first meeting and they should help you. You can just sit there and listen, that's what I did. I also went to one with a speaker, because I didn't want to be around a general discussion meeting. And I was surprised that the "speaker" is just another Joe Shmo like me telling his story, not some "expert" preaching.
Good luck!
Belinda
Welcome aboard, hope to hear from you often!
If you go to a meeting, it may be scary at first, but they are generally very understanding because there are alot of people like you there. Tell someone it's your first meeting and they should help you. You can just sit there and listen, that's what I did. I also went to one with a speaker, because I didn't want to be around a general discussion meeting. And I was surprised that the "speaker" is just another Joe Shmo like me telling his story, not some "expert" preaching.
Good luck!
Belinda
Miracles Happen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 9,977
Future Thanks for sharing your story. You make me remember how it was for me the last day I took a drug & drink, that was almost 6 mths ago. Remember we do not have to go through that ever again as long as we don't drink ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: PA
Posts: 102
Just got back from my first AA meeting! There were only 5 of us, but it was nice to share my story and am actually glad my first meeting was not large. Everyone was very kind and open to me, told me their stories and how AA changed my life. They also recommended a bunch of times of AA classes to attend and gave me the big book and the twelve steps book. A couple of the people their gave me their numbers and it was great.
I plan on attending another one either tomorrow or Tuesday night.
I plan on attending another one either tomorrow or Tuesday night.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 542
Hello Future22,
My word! That was an excellent post! Thank you for sharing this inspiring story with all of us. I am SO HAPPY you took the courage to go to the AA Meeting. I was so scared just like you and now I love it so much!!
Keep up the awesome work future and those demon dreams will be all gone for GOOD! Hope to hear more from you as you progress in AA and in your NEW Life!
All the very best to you,
Pancake =^..^= xo
My word! That was an excellent post! Thank you for sharing this inspiring story with all of us. I am SO HAPPY you took the courage to go to the AA Meeting. I was so scared just like you and now I love it so much!!
Keep up the awesome work future and those demon dreams will be all gone for GOOD! Hope to hear more from you as you progress in AA and in your NEW Life!
All the very best to you,
Pancake =^..^= xo
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