klopper22

Hi. This is my first post here. I have been an off-and-on abuser of alcohol and drugs over the last 24 years. They have both played hell on my life and marriage. I quit the alcohol some years back. But now, I need pain meds for my back. I have dorsal scapular syndrome and moderate to severe pain in my upper back, neck and shoulders almost all the time. My reason for taking pain meds is not to get high, although it is a bi-product of the pills I enjoy deeply.

My question: If you are an addict and have chronic pain, CAN U EVER BE NORMAL? WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO LIVE A DECENT LIFE - NOT IN PAIN BUT ALSO NOT USING UP MY MEDS TO FAST SO THAT I GO THRU WITHDRAWALS? I have just gone thru my 5th day of withdrawal from oxycontin. I was prescribed 20mg 3 x daily but I was taking six a day . I am feeling mostly normal again THANK GOD!!! I tried to get my dr to write a script of regular percocet today to get some releif. I told them the oxycontin hasnt worked out. He said I need to go in and talk to him. My appt is Monday and I dont know how to explain being out of the meds early. He has been a great dr and I dont want to lose him. I really would like to get away from oxycontin because it is so strong and addictive. I have not ever had an abuse problem with vicodin and am thinking of asking if I can go to that. But what do I say about running out early? Should I say it is because of the nature of the way the OC make me feel is why I used more than prescribed or what? I am so regretful of using them up too quickly. i am in a bad position now.

All I want is to be mostly pain free and to take pain medicine without feeling like this>>> :ghug about them? That is what I want.

Any help will be appreciated.

The first time I tried to post it didnt work, so hopefully it will now.

RayRayRay

I have no words of advice for you, klopper. I just wanted to mention that there is a forum on this site for pain management in recovery.

Good luck on getting through this.

mle-sober

I feel for you. It sounds like a real struggle.

As an alcoholic, I have been very nervous about pain pills. I had seven surgeries in the past two years. It was interesting to me to watch how I felt when I got stoned as a result of taking my pain meds as percribed. I was elated! *****! A way to get stoned and still not drink! Whee! The good thing was, the pills ran out and the pain got better. So it's quite different from your experience.

I think your doctor is totally aware of the danger of the pills he gave you. I think being honest and just saying that you found yourself taking more than was prescribed will be enough. He's not going to flog you. If he's a good doctor, he's going to understand and work with you.

Have you thought about a pain management specialist? You've probably already gone there.... but I've heard good things about some in my area.

Also, I might get boo'd off the stage here but, depending on where you live, pot can be helpful with chronic pain and it's not physically addictive. In my own opinion, it's much less harmful than some of the pills out there. I know. I know. A lot of people will stronger object to that suggestion. Sorry. I'm not meaning to stir things up.

I'm pretty sure you'll hear from some others who have more chronic pain and can help you. Welcome to SR.

SHawk25

Just be honest to the dr.. You'll only be lieing to yourself..

CarolD

Welcome.....

Sorry to know you are in pain....and
please check out the Forum mentioned by Ray

Recovery and Pain Management - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Wolfchild

Honesty is always the best policy!

If you tell your doctor the truth, it will give you some relief from fear, guilt, and shame. Is it worth it to you to endure a little temporary embarrasment to have a clean conscious?



mle-sober : Has substituting one drug for another ever worked for you?
Your too special to be booed off stage!

klopper22

If I could, I would smoke weed before ever taking pain meds again, but you obviously know how that goes in most areas. I have been to pain mgmt and they said all they could do is write med scripts for me...no cure for the pain. SO here I am. Just gonna do the best I can. I appreciate the replies a lot.

I know what u are saying SHawk25, but sometimes honesty isn't the best policy. I HAVE to be able to get pain meds. I have a job to hold and kids to provide for. I do respect your opinion. Honesty is best 99.9% of the time, but there are times it just aint.

klopper22

Thanks Carol and RayRayRay. I will go there now.

robc

It would seem you could tell the doctor that the pain was so bad that you took a pill whenever you needed one. I am guessing that is not how it works though. It would definitely suck if the doctor stopped prescribing, but hopefully you can be honest and he will still take care of you.

lovinmenow

Hi Klopper,
Print your orginal post and read it to your doctor. That IS how you really feel. Please be honest with your doc. Think about this. Imagine for a second that instead of you going to the doc it was your child. Wouldn't you be honest with the doc and make sure your child gets to proper care and is led is the right direction?

I also want to ask, .. is there any surgery for your ailment that would fix the pain? My heart goes out to you honey. I am glad you are going to the doc to get help. It hope it all works out.

mle-sober

That's why I said it depends on where you live. There's no indication of where you live on your signature/avatar. I'm in Colorado and my brother has a medical perscription for marijuana. Not saying it's possible everywhere. I used to live in California and I knew people there who also were able to treat their pain with marijuana. I know it's a risk because of the Federal laws. But addiction to pain pills comes with many risks also.

Also, I hope you didn't get the impression that I'm glib on this subject. I truly feel for you. I think being in chronic pain would be hell. I struggled mightily with pain for a couple of years and it was incredibly debilitating. I'm sure what I've dealt with pales in comparison to your situation. Sorry if I somehow came across as not understanding or empathetic.

gerryP

Pot may not be physically addictive, but it is psychologically addictive. I don't then see the difference between abusing pain medication and smoking weed for pain. If you like being high...any road will take you there.

gerryP

Klopper, I feel for you. Being in chronic pain is unbearable and something no one should have to suffer through. I hope you find a way to remedy the pain without more problems.

mle-sober

I know. I have mixed emotions about it myself. I just see it helping my brother. And I've read about it helping others. My next door neighbor (also one of my husband's good friends) is addicted to pain pills after a bad car accident several years ago and his life looks really miserable. My brother at least isn't suffering physically any more.

Even addicts and alcoholics deserve to have their pain controlled. In my mind, if you've tried pain meds and noticed yourself abusing them, and you've tried alternative paths like chiropractory, massage, acupuncture, and osteopathy, and nothing has worked - if you can get safe access to pot it would be worth a try.

But I know that's a dangerous position to take and that many people would strongly disagree with me. I understand that.

klopper22

I would sure like to do that, but I am very apprehensive. I am afraid of being in pain without releif and not being able to be productive and provide for my family. I'm not taking enough to kill myself. No, there is no surgury at least that is what I heard from one group of neurosurgeons - just pain meds.

I do believe it will all work out. Things always do in this crazy a$$ life. I am glad u are lovin u now. Maybe I will love myself again soon.

klopper22

Thanks robc, i appreciate the reply.

klopper22

There are some roads I'm not willing to ever travel. I mean crack, whiskey, cocaine, meth, sniffing glue/paint/gasoline all get u high but they have no legitimate use as a pain remedy like pot does. I almost lost my life when I was 18. I had a huge infection in my throat and all that helped with the pain and sleeping was mary jane. She soothed my pain and soothed me to sleep when all else failed.

I have a job with random drug screening and would get fired if tested positive. Otherwise I would smoke weed for the pain. It's not about being high for me...there has to be more to it that that.

Thank u all so much for the replies.
BTW, I love this one >>> :ghug

gerryP

Klopper that's why you would want to talk to your Dr. so that you can explain your situation fully. There are other "classes" of pain medication that can be prescribed for those of us that have had substance abuse problems. I think if you repeat everything you have said here, to your Dr., he/she could help you.

How are you able to work when you are in so much pain? If you need to be on medication your letter can provide you with a letter to your place of employment.

Good luck Klopper and I wish you well.

gerryP

Sorry, "Your Dr. can provide you with a letter" is what I meant to write.

amirose

I hesitate to write this because chronic pain is such a sensitive issue...but I am going to share with you MY experience. It may not relate to you at all, if not then of course disregard it!

I noticed at the start of your first post that you stated you had been an on and off drug and alcohol abuser for many years. I guess because I can relate to that, and then ended up with chronic pain after a kidney surgery, I am thinking there COULD be some similarities between us.

I always enjoyed the high of painkillers, and started abusing them as a teenager (dad is a doctor and kept them around the house). We didn't have a medicine cabinet, we had a medicine closet. And though I used them sporadically, I cleaned that sucker out by the time I was in college! I was so happy when I got a cough....I always called for the "good"cough syrup! In between the opiates, I had plenty of fun partying with my friends!

A few years later (still abusing the drugs sporadically), I had surgery bc of a genuine health problem, some complications for which I was prescribed Norco, then oxy, dilaudid, fentanyl patches, you name it and I probably took it--and NOT as it was prescribed. At last I ended up being put on Methadone(prescribed by hospice) to deal with the chronic pain. I abused that too.
I was in the ER frequently with pain and withdrawals from running out of my meds early and not wanting to admit it to anyone.

This was the darkest time of my life. I still have a hard time disentangling the pain from the drug addiction and I don't know if I ever will. When I finally admitted to my psychiatrist that I thought I was a drug addict...she was caring, helped me tell my husband and find a treatment center. It was 1000x easier than living a lie.

At treatment I was put on Suboxone and Valium and was slowly weaned off of those while the doctors monitored me for pain. During the next month I was SO afraid of the pain, but other than a couple of injections of a non narcotic pain reliever...I didn't need anything! What was explained to me was that chronic USE of the opiates had been the culprit in the pain...the problem that I had started out with had actually long since healed!

SO, just thought I would throw that out there for you. I know I never imagined this possibility when I was in the midst of everything.

I wish you the best...