Katie09

Well, TV is blaring through the wall and lights out are supposed to be at 11. I take Lunesta just to sleep and this is great. I have three pets with me and they do these random room checks when I am not here and I'm scared to death that one of my pets will get loose when I am not here to supervise. I told them this and the response was "Look, other people have pets here and it's never been an issue." Yeah, well, they don't have rambunctious puppies. I am thinking of just stopping payment on my check and getting outta here, as the night guy wouldn't even go knock on her door as he "didn't want to wake her." Thing is, I am stuck in SoCal with a driving phobia and not even able to drive home alone at this point.

I am thinking of just stopping payment on this check and leaving. Sure, I will as lost three grand, but it's better than 13 grand. I asked the night guy if they'd do anything about it and he was iffy? What am I going to do? I had a feeling this was a major mistake.

lunarise

katie~
I have read a few of your threads and in my opinion you are right were you need to be...it may not be the most comfortable situation but...I think you should give it some time.....
I wish you the best...
:ghug3

tommyk

Just my opinion... but I think you need to set some SERIOUS priorities.

The disease will do everything it can to distract you.

Good luck in your recovery, and keep coming back.

flutter

All I can do is shake my head.

Just stay, it's not the four seasons.

More excuses!

I hope one day, and soon, that you get the help you need. Until then, I wish you luck, and thank you yet again for making me feel so very thankful for my sobriety.

Freedom1990

There won't be anyone to take care of those rambunctious puppies if you're dead from your disease.

Katie09

Thanks, I do appreciate the perspectives. I am not asking for a four star hotel here. What I am asking for is to be told the truth in advance regarding this place. I do ask that house rules be enforced. I do need to sleep. Without sleep I am worthless.

I had a little dog that drowned in my pool. I have lived with that pain for years. I do not want to take chances with my pet's lives, as I know what their loss does to me. I'd just as soon put them in Petsmart and go to another rehab.

At any rate, I am going to talk with the guy in an hour or so. I don't see why I should not get things in writing on my end too. This is my life and bank account at stake.

Anyway, a little frazzled here.

firestorm090

Hey Katie,

I realise that you're putting a lot of money out here, so it is important to try to ensure that you recieve the best treatment available for your problem. You've only been there a short time, so I know this is a difficult question, but do they have the necessary resources to help you get on track with your life? I'm sure there are drawbacks to any recovery facility, however, is it possible for you to utilize this place as a starting point toward a new life? It's the quality of support, guidance, and coping tools they provide that should be the barometer of whether or not you should stay there. are there any people there with whom you build friendships to help you through this experience and support you while you are there? Before you leave, at least strongly consider these significant aspects of their program, because it really is about your life, not just the money.

LosingmyMisery

It seems to me you have your mind already made up. You aren't ready to get sober, are you? If you were, your pets getting out would be the least of your troubles. I think the adults that work there have been handling pets for some time now and will be able to handle yours, if they get out. Why don't you wait until a real problem arises before you threaten to leave. I really don't get it, Katie? Is this you first night there? Good lord, get settled and open your mind up for learning how to get sober. Maybe having your pets there is to much of a distraction and they can be boarded somewhere close by? As far as the TV being to loud, talk to someone about it and see if it can be resolved. I'm sure this can be handled rationally without running out at the first sign of anything that doesn't meet your approval.

This is just the beginning. I would expect much more than doesn't meet your approval. You are not on vacation. You are in treatment to save your life. Try to keep that in mind. I wish you well and hope this works out for you, but if you keep looking for something, anything, you will find it and where will that leave you? Drunk and broke.

yeahgr8

Hi Katie

It does not sound much fun, but if it keeps you sober it might be worth putting up with some discomfort. Hope you get some postive feedback from the staff at the rehab centre.

tellus

Not to stray from the subject, but am I the only one who's surprised at the concept of a rehab that allows pets? Or in-room TVs, for that matter? It seems counterproductive to allow such major distractions. If the goal is successful sobriety, anyway.

Katie, you'll be in my thoughts.

Dime

Katie,
You have an opportunity to change your whole life and to stop the insanity of the disease. It is not easy to see the positives early on in a recovery program. Make the best of it and try not to worry excessively. Look at the bigger picture. A year from now you can look back and say that it was the best thing that every happened in your life. I hated being in a detox hospital. Turns out that it was the experience that changed my entire life. I wound up hooking up with the AA people and working the steps as a result of the experience that I hated. I actually enjoy getting up in the morning now.

Jeepers you are in a place that even allows pets! Hang it there it gets better!!

tellus

:ghug

Aysha

This is a reminder ..Lets respect that. Anna is working hard to ensure everyones satisfaction here. I think we have upset and troubled her enough lately.
Show some respect for her and everyone else.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...413-again.html

catlovermi

Well, one practical solution to the puppies is to use a crate.

CLMI

December15

I'm sorry to hear you are having issues so soon Katie. Hopefully they will get ironed out and you can look forward to a new life.

nickishine

Katie Bear....

Hang in there, girl! Give "time" - TIME!!!

BTW... they let you use your computer in there????

I'm just shocked and feeling a lil jealous that I never could in rehab... K Sir ah sir ah!

Don't leave before the "miracle happens"!!!!

Love, hugs and more hugs!

:ghug3

Katie09

Thanks all. It's not just the TV blaring or pets, but this absolute feeling of being trapped. Even if I wanted to leave, I think I'd get all of us killed on the freeway due to my driving phobia problem. I've thought...what will I do if I can't get my two major issues squared away (sleep and pets). What? Do I call the police and ask them to help me find someone who will drive my car home?

This is not about not wanting recovery. This is about making sure I get it. Sleepless, I am useless. If one of my pets were to disappear, that would be tragic. I am still so traumatized from seeing that little body floating in the water knowing it was due to MY ISSUES! I won't let it happen again.

Anyway, called the admissions guy and told him I needed to talk with him before the day starts. Somehow I don't think I'll be hearing from him. Well, best get this crying over with before the meditation of the morning, in which I will probably just sit there crying. Thanks for any kind words.

AlkalikeH

Hey Katie,

You are not alone there, i mean, no one will let anything happen to your puppies. If they admit pets must mean that they are ready for them. Let them know you concern about this issue and that should do it.

I am feeling useless here, in front of the machine, with due bills, need to work and cannot concentrate, what would i f*ck give to just lay around rehab and screw everything else and concentrate on my sobriety! Consider yourself lucky!

All the best.

James13

Katie,

Recovery is never on our terms. If it were, none of us would get sober.

From reading your posts recently, I believe you are exactly where you need to be. And if you continue this new path you have taken, it can only get better.

It seems you are worrying alot about things that haven't happened. What has happened is you have realized something about yourself and have checked into rehab. That's a great step, and a courageous one.

I will be thinking about you.

Much peace to you.

mle-sober

Can you put a sign on the door that asks people to be careful not to let your dogs out?

Can you find a nearby place that will come and get them and keep them for you?

Do you realize that you are avoiding recovery by making it all about pets and your comfort level? Do you recognize that no matter what you do, no matter how many other issues you let distract you - your alcoholism will still demand attention? Do you know how likely it is that you are upset right now and seriously uncomfortable precisely because you are having to live without alcohol? Those other issues are merely allowing you to distract, detract, and rationalize. Distracting, Detracting and Rationalizing are your biggest tools, Katie. They are what you turn to again and again when you are cornered. Well, here you are.

Be bigger, braver, stronger. Reach deeper. Be bold. Let go of all the noise in your head. All the excuses. All the reasons why you shouldn't have to do it, don't want to do it, feel excused from doing it. Reach past that and dive into recovery. Instead of looking for what doesn't work for you, look for what you can learn. What's in front of you waiting to be learned right this minute?

It is so painful to read your posts, Katie. Probably because I see myself in you. Probably because I was in so much denial for so many years. I felt so righteous. Like others were out to do me wrong and take advantage of me. Like things were against me. But the truth was, I was the biggest problem in my own life. Not all the other things I was blaming. Me. I was the problem.

Sobriety and recovery helped me see and understand and change that. I really hope you stay in rehab. And I really hope you learn to let go of all that noise in your head so that you can make room from the truth that comes with recovery. It's a miraculous thing when it happens. It's very powerful. Everything in your life shifts. Everything looks completely different.

But I think you have to be desperate. I think you have to be ready. You have to let go of all the me-me-me stuff. You have to be humble. You have to stop trying to control stuff. You have to trust. Go ahead. Give it a try. It's scary but you can do it. Put down all your junk and pick up recovery.